Stimulation Is Just One Ranity and a Cocktail Away

Relocating.

2010-03-06T01:41:00.002-05:00

The Ranity is moving to tumblr. But I will not delete my blogspot as a reminder of what too much time on my hands has done. This was my first blog, my baby and I read some REALLY nice blogs. In the meantime find me at http://latelyranity.tumblr.com/

The Economy: What if Blacks, Latinos and Other Minority Democrats Switched to the Independent Party?

2010-01-27T02:46:00.003-05:00

Continuously ignored by local and national elections alike, Blacks, Latinos and other inner city minorities may want to take a page out of Massachusetts and vote for the populist Independent leaning candidate. After all, that was the same movement that got the hard left Democrat Barack Obama elected as President only a year ago. With an economy well over 10% nationally and currently 18% in New York City alone, Middle class families and minorities are feeling the pressure and finding it harder to make ends meet. In Middle America, the question become more "Do I have enough to feed my family and put gas in the tank to drive into the city to find work?".

In African-American epicenters such as New York City, Chicago and DC, economic hardships are highly uncommon. In NYC, Prior to the economic meltdown, Unemployment in the African American community was already at 10% and 8% in the Latino community. In 2010 it stands at 18% unemployment citywide, 23% statewide and if you like numbers check this out; 64% of the African American community is unemployed as of 2008 with many of their jobs not looking to return to their communities and families. Yet time and time again we hear of promises to bring jobs back, create green jobs, tax cuts for people making below a certain amount. Lately, what we have seen are bonuses for people making those 100k jobs in the same industries that got us into this mess on the backs of people that didn't have to begin with. The taxpayers are furious. More is being taken from them and nothing is being given back.

Regardless, if you're a Republican or Democrat. If you're a minority, regardless of money status, you are considered Americas bastard child. If Blacks (that vote) whom makes up the US population switched to the Independence Party. You would see major changes in inner cities. The power is not in how many Republicans show up to the polls, how many Democrats show up to the polls. It's about how many (IND) you can woo. Independents in America make up 10% of the electorate and are the ones that decide elections. If you cant win Independents, you've lost the race. Since the late 70s Blacks in inner cities have felt ignored by their political leaders on both aisles. Many blacks are registered Democrats. So how does 2010 & 2012 look for the people you voted for in the 2008 & 09 elections? Have they been holding up to their half of the bargain? The next question I pose is what if all minorities switched from being a Democrat and voted for a populist Independent? Independents (like Joe Liebermann of Connecticut and Bernie Sanders of Vermont) are great at holding up votes on bills if it does not satisfy the populist needs of their constituents. We can expect a lot of this from Scott Brown of Massachusetts as well. This is why I think it's time for Minorities of all backgrounds (gays, lesbians, blacks, latinos) to vote Independent, so that they finally get their voices heard and not shoved in the back of all the noise and clutter of issues that frankly doesn't matter to them.

Barack Obama famously quoted as saying "I'd rather be a good 1 term president than a sub-par 2 term president". Dear Mister President, what if your one term looks a lot like your first year and all of the sudden the same people that voted you into the white house decided to vote against both their democratic and republican congressmen and senators and ultimately voted you out of office for lets say, an Independent candidate that actually listens to the concerns of the people. What would that concern be? Oh Yeah J.O.B.S!!!! Part of being a good leader is being a good listener and right now you are not being a good leader or a good listener. Would you be a good listener if you too like many underpaid minorities were left without a job? Would you be a good listener if you too like many Middle Class families were put out of their homes onto the streets? I hear it gets pretty cold in Chicago ya know. The Economy is tired of being the side-ho to your Health Care agenda and so are Americans.

"Friends & Lovers" Part VI

2010-01-17T17:09:00.000-05:00

On the way back from Lenox Mall, much of the tension between Dion and Andre had passed. The comfort level was back again. Andre felt bad for making Dion cry in public. He hung the pictures that they took together in the photo booth attached to one of his car ornaments.

"Andre"
"Yeah.."
"Have you ever been in a relationship before, like ever been in love before?"

Andre pulled over the car onto the shoulder. This took Dion back a little as he wasn't sure what was going on. Andre took a deep breath and the furrows of his forehead cringed. Dion became concerned as he thought once again, he had done something wrong.

"Dre what's wrong?" Dion started getting worried
"I'm fine, I'm sorry. I have been in a relationship..." he said "...about two years ago, I fell in love with this dude Chaddrick. He was my first love, my best friend, I thought he was my everything. I would go to school and he'd pick me up and we'd go to his place and just kick it ya know"
"What happened?" Dion said
"I don't know what happened but he started getting controlling and crazy for no reason! He started accusing me of cheating on him and we'd get into fights. My parents thought all the black and blue was from school or football practice or whatever, but they were from him." Andre rested his arm on the lowered window on his side of the car.
"One day I just had enough and I drove away and he followed me. I drove faster and he tried to catch up with me so I got on the highway to get away from him. I was more scared of what would happen if he tried to catch up with. I managed to escape him though. He wasn't able to escape the 18 wheeler though"
"Aww man, I'm so sorry"
"Man fuck him, I found out at the funeral, he was the one cheating on me" Andre said
"What?"
"And ya know that's probably why I can't cry about him now. Why? He didn't love me, he just wanted to control me" Andre said holding back tears.

Andre somewhat felt like he was responsible for Chaddricks death.

"I hadn't talked about what happened with anyone, not even my mom and dad" Andre said
"Wow, I don't know what to say boo"
"You don't have to say anything. You just being here is everything"

It was clear to Dion that while Dre was ready to move on and find somebody to be with, He still had unfinished business with Carl before he can move to the next level with Andre. They've only known each other for a little under a week and it was clear to him that they were possibly still moving too fast.

After nearly a half hour on the road, Dion & Dre pull up the house. Dion takes a deep breath as he know he is going to have confront the man he has been in a relationship for the past few years and confront him with his feelings for Andre.

"I'll wait out here if you need me, yell, call anything" Andre said
"I'll be fine, Carl won't do anything stupid" Dion said

Andre and Dion lean over to kiss each other. Dion opens the door to the car and walks to his front door. Andre immediately turns his atention to Carls vehicle.. He thought to himself, hmmm thats a familiar looking car. The car looked familiar to him and he didn't know why and it finally came to him but he didn't want to believe it. He picks up his phone to call his roommate Trey. Trey picks up the phone and lowers the volume on his television.

"Yooooo" Trey said in his deep southern voice
"Ayo Trey, that dude that you be having coming over...Carl, what car does he drive?"
"A grey 2006 Nissan, why?"
"I think something messy is about to go down"
"You always think somebody is being messy"
"No seriously, dude is messy"
"Whatever nigga" Trey said in mid yawn
"Trey we both know how you get down, all I'm gonna ask you is this, have y'all been using protection"
"Nigga that's none of your business what I be doing"
"Come on now this ain't none of your young ass punks, I think the dude you been fuckin with is my dudes boyfriend"
"Well that ain't got shit to do with me, that's their problem and you oughta stay out of it it too"
"We'll talk about this later"
"Ain't shit to talk about, I ain't being bothered with them folks mess, fuck outta here"

Trey clearly upset on the other end of the phone, hung up on Andre. Andre is now confused as to whether he should knock on the door or stay outside like Dion asked.

Dion slowly walks into his living room to see Carl sitting on the couch. The tension between the two of them is extremely thick.

"Carl" Dion said with a nervousness in his voice
"Hey baby" Carl said with a smile and a slight nervousness in his voice

Dion didn't respond, he just looked at his boyfriend. Something was odd, wrong and different about him. He didn't appear to be the confident boyfriend that he once had been.

"I've missed you baby" Carl said in a soft voice

Something was wrong because Dion could feel it. Carl was rather unusual acting but Dion sat down on the couch next to him.

"So what's been going on?"
"Nothing"
"Nothing?"
"What are we doing Carl?"
"What do you mean?"
"Have we been loving each other or Have we been just putting on one big show"
"What are you talking about?"
"Our relationship has been going south ever since you been taking all these trips"
"Baby I been doing it for you, for us!"
"Well neither one of us is benefiting from that"
"What are you talking about?"

"Carl I think it's time that we end it for real"
"Baby we can work this out"
"I've been seeing someone else"
"I know"
"What?"
"I saw you two together in bed this morning"
"Is it because I wouldn't let you fuck me? Is that what it was?"
"What?...Carl no! it's not about who's the top of who's the bottom, Our relationship was more than just who was fucking who and who was taking it. It became one-sided. Everything became more about you then it was about us, ya know You and I.. If it didn't concern you, you weren't interested."
"Give me a chance to at least make a change"
"You've said that before Carl, you're selfish and I let you remain that way with me. People are supposed to grow in relationships but I let you be usual self"
"Baby what can I do to make this work"
"It's over Carl. It was over for a long time. Neither one of us saw it coming"
"So you about to up and leave and move on to the next thing that makes you feel good?"

Dion's phone rings and it's Dre. Dion picks up the phone looking directly at Carl.

"Baby, Carls been cheating on you this whole time. I just found out he's been fucking with my roommate. I just got off the phone with Trey"
"WHAT?" Dion became aggitated by the news
"My roommate is HIV+. I'm not trying to scare you but I know my roommate and he's not responsible at all. I think you and I should get tested just to make sure"
"Are you sure"
"I'm very sure"
"Baby I'll be out in a minute"

Carl became angry at Dion calling another man baby, What he didn't expect was Dion to punch him in the face so hard that his nose began to gush blood. Dion was never the angry type nor the type that fought. Dion at the same time was no punk either. He hit Carl so hard that his nose began to throb.

"What The Fuck!"
"Trey...who's Trey?"
"I don't know who the fuck you're talking about and what was that about"

Carl held his nose trying to stop the blood but there was too much running down his nose. Dion picks up Carls blackberry that was sitting on the table and began peering through the contacts list.

"If I find anyone name with Trey or Tremaine in this phone"

The first name that appears on the screen is Trey from College Park 678-229-6261. Dion then drops the blackberry and stares at Carl.

"I want you gone when I come back"

"Babe!" Andre yells and nudges Dion as they're waiting for their test results
"Huh" Dion woke up out of his daze reflecting on earlier events
"She is talking to us"

Standing in front of the two genetlemen was Nurse Jacqueline Brown. Earlier Dre joked and called her Nurse Jackie. Wearing a lab coat and a hair style resembling Michelle Obama and simple earrings, the chocolate brown complexion nurse smiled at the pair.

"Ok gentlemen, I got you're results and I'm pleased to say that both of you came back HIV negative. Negative for syhphillis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes. All negative"

Dion and Andre hugged each other, tears of joys began flowing. The nurse handed them both their papers stating their clean bill of health and walked out to let them gather themselves.

"Marlon and Robert wants us to come over for dinner" Dion calmly sighed
"Does this make us official?" Dre said with a slight smirk
"Let's take it slow. one step. one day at a time...but I got a good feeling about this" Dion as he kissed Dre on his lips "I got a good feeling about you and I"
"Me Too" Dre said.

SIZE matters...

2010-01-08T13:17:00.000-05:00

Lets talk about it. Penis, Dick, Cock, Pene, Bicho, Pinga. Let's be realistic we never hear about a person saying they want a guy with a small or average size penis . Even if the guy has everything going for him, if he can't seem to please his partner with what God gave him, that may be the deal breaker. Ok we already established that, Many of us insist that we are not "hoes" for wanting a man with a sizeable gift but we just "know what we want". Fine.

Lets talk about the guy that wants to be seen for more than for whats in between his legs because guess what, they are out there, and they want love and appreciation for their mind, their spirit and their ability to be a good man to you in your relationship, not just an occasional jumpoff, one night stand or cut buddy. For some people size matters but last night I met someone who was looking for someone who can get pass that. For him personality matters, intelligence matters, connection matters.

I had seen him in his underwear for the first time since knowing him and my eyes pierced up and down his body. He had been working out way more than previously thought and his body was coming together very well. The record scratching moment was when I got his crotch area and realized while he wasn't hard he was extremely well endowed penis, balls the whole works. We weren't going to do anything but I was awfully curious as to what the hell was going on between his legs.

Being the sexually liberated person I am, I made a passing a comment of course about his workout effort but also about him being well endowed. While I expected this be a compliment, this brought out a slight insecurity about it. To be a black man and hung like, one would think it would be considered more than a blessing. For him it has become an absolutely curse. He's a college graduate, lives in a decent neighbourhood, owns his car,smart, young, talented, handsome, works out and has an aspiring career in broadcasting and yet he is looked as a penis with legs. It's very similar to how most men look at women as a face, tits and legs or a face, booty and legs and every thing else seems to come as a secondary priority.

When working out, people often gather around him while he working out just to see his ding a ling flop around in his track pants or even in the early morning when he goes jogging, it's as if his neighbours stalks him with their eyes and while again for some people this may be a huge ego booster for him it's awkward and downright annoying. Try being flagged by lifeguards and beach patrol for "indecent exposure", or better yet accussed of shoplifting because of the inappropriate bulge in his slacks or jeans. Meanwhile this constant harrassment is all a ploy by many to get him "prove" to them that whats in his slacks is the real deal. After speaking to him, I realized that not only is it harrassment, not only is it a nuisance but isn't this illegal? Would you ask a woman to unbutton her blouse to prove that she isn't "hiding merchandise" in her tits? Meeting guys albeit in the club or online is a big enough problem as it is but you know how the tacky size queens are a bit overjoyed when they see a handsome man, a car, nice body, dressed well and a bulge that won't quit. The conversation quickly goes from "so what do you do for a living" to "damn I wanna ride your dick".

I quickly took back my compliment because I wanted to make sure that he knew that I saw him as more than just meat between his legs. He also made me realize it is about how you approach a person that determines the outcome. I know for me, it reinforces my rule that I set back in 2008, that I would keep compliments about someones body to myself! There's something way more genuine about the interaction then hearing or saying "you're so sexy", "damn your body is nice", "you got a fat ass", etc etc etc.
According to him, he didn't take any offense however had it been someone else...then you know it'd be alot different. Luckily, we're just friends

I wrote this because I wanted to bring attention to a subject that is talked about but not looked at from another point of View.

Thoughts?

Artists That Will Survive & Wane in the new Decade.

2010-01-01T03:26:00.004-05:00

Artists To Continue to Into The New Decade

T.I.
Jail time couldn't come at a perfect time, at the end of the decade. It is not as if T.I. has ever left the scene. Music was being released well into his jail time and he is one of few artists in the new iTunes era besides Lady Gaga to see all their albums singles go to the Top 10. I expect Clifford Harris to knock us dead once again into the next decade.

Beyonce
There is no stopping the machine. She is one of few contemporary artists capable of selling 500k in first week sales, selling out packed arenas and garnering numerous awards. With I Am...Sasha Fierce only selling 2.1 million copies and spotty charting on the U.S.Hot 100, which is small potatos next to her epic debut, this will give her much fuel to recreate those numbers.

Green Day
Ageless, This group first burst on to the scene in 1994 and if you can survive the 90s then you pretty much survive any decade. That era has left behind Alanis Morrissette, LIVE, R.E.M and Courtney Love & Hole with only Smashing Pumpkins, No Doubt making it out alive and Fiona Apple making it out by just a hair. They have become our generations U2. The group that goes against rhythmic music that tends to dominate the charts and the clubs but yet the music is good and all people of all backgrounds can like it. Each decade they manage to captivate us with consistently good albums isn't going anywhere fast.

Lady Gaga
Holy crap, where did she come from? She's blonde, she's crazy, she's art and she is Lady Gaga! She sings, she dances, she plays the piano and she choreographs. She understands music! She is everything that is great about pop genre music. She is hailed by many to be the female Freddie Mercury, the white Grace Jones, the product of Madonna and the lost offspring of David Bowie while possessing the vocal versatility that is unique to her. If she continues to make music videos like that of Poker Face, Love Game & Bad Romance while pushing the envelope she will be around for as long as time allows her to.

Mary J. Blige
The Queen of Hip-Hop Soul has been making music since 1991. Mary had a steady following that has been with her since the often forgotten yet referenced Whats The 411, she began gaining a broader audience on No More Drama and developed a following on the Breakthrough. She is still not at Queen of Soul status but she doesn't need it. Hip-Hop Soul is where her throne is at and where her subjects continue to be inspired by her tell-tale lyrics. As long as there is a story to tell and someones going through a personal hell, Mary will be right there to be your ears and your Dear Abby. In this case, Dear Mary.

Pink
What chick is funkiest and doesn't give a fuck more than Pink? The spikey blonde hair wearing, nose ring piercing and multiple tattoo in weird places don diva is the product of 90's star Kandi (formerly of Xscape) and L.A. Reid. Pink also survived the 90's to have a string of multi platinum albums. What Pink brings to Rock & Roll is her R&B roots. She doesn't yell but she actually does vocal runs that touches a nerve and if she catches you at the right moment, you must just quiver a little. Her move from R&B/Hip-Hop to Rock was a smart one as no one will be able to do it quite like she can. Pink is the rock leader of female empowerment.

Taylor Swift
Ok before you jump on my case, let me explain something about Taylor Swift. She is young, she is pretty and she is quite talented. She reaches a huge audience. She is also country. There is a genuine appeal that Leann Rimes was not able to captivate in the 90s. She makes it cool for young boys and girls to listen to Country without feeling "uncool" or "square", part of that she can thank for releasing music at 15. She is now 20 and has the highest selling album of 2009 over Susan Boyle.

Maxwell
Huh? Maxwell you ask? Maxwell took a 10 year break what if he goes through another 10 year break? Maxwell is obligated to give us 2 more albums are a part of his Black Summer Night package and you best to believe this vocal babymaker will stretch and milk it for everything that its worth given the first installment of the Black Summer Night Series. Maxwell saw 300k+ sold in his first week which had never happened up until that point. He reached an audience other than that predictable Urban crowd which will propel his success further.

Alicia Keys
I often compare Alicia Keys to the smooth crooner Roberta Flack. They both are beautiful songwriters of their time. Roberta Flack didn't enjoy as long as a successful run as a piano playing singer/songwriter on the charts as Alicia is now because what Alicia has is presence and appeal. Alicia Keys also grew up in the area known as Hells Kitchen, NY. You don't come from Hells Kitchen and expect to become a multi-platinum artist. She has found a way to be that artist that doesn't have to sling, pop or shake in order to sell. Just play and sing and sing good is all we ask of Alicia and the recognition continues to pour in.

Artist That Will Wane in the new decade

Rihanna
She's already headed down a slippery slope of partying and alcohol according to the tabloids. Her success has been linked to her fashion, her stunning beauty and her relationship turned break up from Chris Brown. Now that there's just the music left to focus on, I'm not sure if she can fulfill her 7 album Def Jam contract with the sales she did of her widely sucessful "Good Girl Gone Bad". There is truly room for her to prove me wrong. But with the turn to dark side "Rated R" provided us with, she better get happy again and quick. Her widely white audiences will not allow themselves to stay depressed.

Chris Brown
Jeff Foxworthy, a popular redneck comedian made a comment about Chris Brown comparing Breezys plight to Michael Vicks. Michaela life has been changed permanently. He has paid his debt to society but he has a long road to go. As Jeff pointed Chris road maybe a bit longer. The public is not ready for him to shove albums at us critically acclaimed or not. Until the public is ready to forgive him, he won't see another successful Hot 100 song or album.

Letoya
I love this sultry sweet mezzo-soprano and she is clearly the sweeter member of the originally Destinys Child line up. Beauty however doesn't sell albums, music do and while 2007 was her comeback year, it was truly not a good follow up year in 2009. Her only strength from her sophomore album have been radio airplay of "She Aint Got" & "Regret". With radios being particularly overwhelmed by new projects from Lady Gaga & Beyonce, Letoya will find herself back to pre-"Torn" unless her label figures something out. I want to wrong in this prediction.

Mariah Carey
Even though Mariah is slated to release a remix album of her lackluster selling "Memoirs on an Imprefect Angel", what can an artist do that has done it all? Mariah is on legend status. She may not have to sell another record or do another live performance. The sheer essence of her 5 octave voice is unmatched. However, she barely survived 2000 - 2009 if it wasn't for the release of "Emancipation of Mimi" and tge strength of her follow up #1 "Touch My Body" & top ten banger "Obsessed". This may be reason to keep going however, even many of her "Lambs" have noticed tge abuse Mariahs voice has endured in her 21 years as an artist. I doubt Mimi will leave the game and in that same breath I also don't see Mariah selling what "Emancipation" did.

Keri Hilson
Keri is not unique in the sense that she is a superb writer and a fun hook singer. Ashanti, Lil Mo were that too and neither managed to survive the 2000s. With several featured hits and one solo hit under her belt, I don't see consistency or a demand for new music. There is room to prove me wrong

Nicki Minaj
Nicki is cute and she's funny. She also brings a femininity that female rappers have never had, in that same breath, it's okay to be a "lady" but still have to spit the lyrics. Her rap flow can be quite juvenile, over-articulate and does these grunts in the middle of her bars reminiscent of Ludacris. That is not enough to keep her superior. God help her if she ever gets tested in a free style battle by one of tge bad bitches of rap however, her lack of skill and peoples desire for better will be her own battle to deal with.

50 Cent
Times up buddy, your music sounds the same each album. You're good but you're not so good to where we don't notice that your music is boring and repetitive. Just take a one way trip somewhere.

Jennifer Lopez
J.Lo is more than a machine, she's an empire now. Up to date only her and Diana Ross are the only two divas to perform in the rain and get wet, looking awesome doing it (Rihanna performed in the snow). Jennifer is also a superior dancer however she's also in the "women of a certain age" bracket and while she's at her fiercest when she's giving us much the choreography, time and time again her album sales since her third album, the highly successful "J to tha L O: The Remixes" have contined to decline and so has tge content of her music. TheXDexperience.com went on to quote "if she would just go back dating black men, her music would benefit" sadly Diddy ruined it for the brothas. Being the good mommy that she is, she won't be leaving powerhouse singer Marc Anthony anytime soon. (Btw, Marc was on my list of artists not to survive the 2000s and look...I was right).

Bobby Valentino
.... WHO? ...

Missy Elliot
Where she been at? Not making music. Her last significant album was in 2005 "The Cookbook" and what a dissapointment. It wasn't a bad album but it was revealed that Timbaland had only produced 1.5 tracks. I'm not sure what happened to Missy Elliot that we know and love but she may have checked out and left the building a long time ago. Instead of asking Who is Mike Jones, people will be asking Where is Missy Elliot?

Comebacks of the Decade

Janet Jackson
Lauryn Hill
Fantasia
Eve
Outkast
No Doubt
Toni Braxton

Don't expect them ever

Smashing Pumpkins
Hole
Donnie Klang

Ranity's 10 songs and albums of 2000 - 2009

2010-01-01T02:00:00.005-05:00

My Top 10 Songs of 2000 - 2009
N.E.R.D. - Maybe
Janet Jackson - All For You
Alicia Keys - If I Aint Got You
Beyonce - Crazy In Love
Outkast - The Way You Move/Hey Ya
Jay Z - 99 Problems
Mariah Carey - Stay The Night
Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

My 10 Albums of 2000 - 2009

Jay Z - Blueprint
Outkast - Stankonia
Beyoncé - Dangerously In Love
Nelly Furtado - Loose
Kanye West - Graduation
Alicia Keys - Diary of Alicia Keys
N.E.R.D - Fly or Die
Mariah Carey - Emancipation of Mimi
Santogold - Santogold
Adam Lambert - For Your Entertainment

The Four Types of Men That Get In Relationships...Some should NOT

2009-12-20T03:23:00.003-05:00

There is a list for everything these days, a list of who's best dressed, a list of favourite foods, a list of bad diets, a list of who's cuter well there is a list of men that we get into relationships and how to identify them.

In descending order from the most favourable man to the least

1. The Faithful Man
2. The Man That Has a Wife & Has A Girlfriend On The Side
3. The Man That Is In A Relationship and Sleeps Around Because He Feels Like He Can
4. The Sex Addict

The Faithful Man is the of course the man that everyone wants but can't figure out with all the noise in the dating game who is this man?, where is he?, where does he live? and how come there aren't enough of him to go around?

The Man That Has a Wife & a girlfriend is the second most favourable man because these are the men that have trouble communicating what they need from their primary relationship. Most likely, all they want is more of your attention, however they're not needy or dependent, they are just looking for more of your time and they will get it from someone who is willing to give it to them. It is also fair to say that just because they have a girlfriend on the side doesn't mean they are having sex with them. The man that has a wife and a girlfriend is aware of who is priority. If something happens to you and you are #1 (or the wife) trust he will be right there by your side, where as #2 will probably get a phone call or a card. It is your duty as the wife to make sure that if you find yourself more pre-occupied with something else in your relationship that you take a moment to sit back and ask your lover, how are we doing? not how are you doing? but how are we doing? Are you happy? what can we do? It may not necessarily sound like that but just gauge your relationship, pace your relationship and make sure the lines of communication is open.

The Man That Is In A Relationship and Sleeps Around Because He Feels Like He Can is the man that sleeps around because he feels that he can absolutely get away with it for as long as he possibly can. Unfortunately, the sad truth is that this is the majority of the men that God created on this beautiful green, blue and brown earth. This is the man that is pretty on the side and ugly on the inside. This is the man that tells you who is he is from the get but we are so blinded by the pretty that we can't see the ugly. If he has critical opinions about things that aren't important like a persons looks or what a persons wearing or the kind of car that a person drives but have no opinions about things that matter, then mostly this is the guy right here and you need to run as far away as you can. Another clue to this type of man is the man that clearly "gets bored easily" now that alone should sound bells, whistles and alarm in your brain to say "check please!". The man that is in a relationship and sleeps around because feels like he can has a sense of entitlement. They are not humble and they feel they can not be knocked down and therefore they will continue to do it and in some cases even after he has been knocked down will he continue to do it because he will find a way to justify his every move.

The Sex Addict is the classic Sinner Man right? This man can't seem to get enough body, flesh, pussy, ass, titties, head (if he's gay dick, ass, cum, head). The Sex Addict often goes ignored but is as dangerous if not more dangerous as the gambling addiction. The Sex Addict will be in a relationship, have a girlfriend, sleeps around because he can and also will be online hook up sites and has an extensive porn collection. This man along with the Man That Is In A Relationship but Sleeps Around Because He Feels He Can, should not get in relationships but they do. At least with the Sex Addict there is help for them but if you find yourself in a relationship with this person and didn't realize it from the beginning, you have to allow them to get treated for this addiction and leave the relationship. You may feel like you are doing them a favour by staying with them however, all you are is a crutch to lean on when times get rough. They have to get treatment for this and then come to you clean. They are no good to you as a partner otherwise.

What do you think?

"Friends & Lovers" (Part V)

2009-12-09T23:31:00.006-05:00

Robert wasn't normally home during the day but today he again had the luxury of working from home but spent most of the time at home on blackberry or near a computer, with the television set to CNN. It came to him as a surprise that the doorbell rang. People sorta knew Marlon & Robert and knew that they were never home during the day however this person decided to take a change. Robert walked from his office to the door, opened the door and saw that it was Carl. This shocked Robert to the fullest because he didn't Carl back in town.

"Carl, come in...what are you doing here?"
"It's over Robert. I lost him"
"What are you..."
"Dion and I are over...I caught him in bed with some dude"

Carl walked into Roberts moderate sized living room and took a seat on the plush cream couch. It failed to click in Carl's mind that Robert is not the person you go to for relationship advice.

"Well Carl, you been away for a long time, in and out spending less than a week at home and more than several weeks at a time away. While I don't condone cheating, you can't really cheat on something that's never there, that wasn't there"
"I tried to make him happy, I tried to let him know I love him, Robert. He knows I love him" Carl said with a disbelief still in his voice
"When was the last time you and Dion had sex?"
"2 months ago"
"2 months ago?...2 months ago?...hell, 2 months and I ..." Robert interrupted himself to not say something he knew he'd regretting letting anyone hear him say out loud
"We were both busy, he was busy flipping homes all over Georgia and I was busy...looking for a job"
"You still haven't told him you lost your job, did you"
"No..."
"What are you afraid of? Why wouldn't you tell him?"
"Because I didn't want him to leave me..."
"It seems like he already did that but if it's over...he needs to know. I mean it's only right, since you're not going to fight to keep the relationship alive..."
"Who said I wasn't going to?"
"Well I don't know...are you?"

There was a bit of silence between the two men. Robert finally sat down on the love seat across from Carl.

"Whatever you do though, it's his decision. He needs to know what's really been going on because for all he knows, he thinks the man that he was once inseparable from skips out on town and doesn't think about him. I mean he's a man too and if you ask most women, they won't be able to go 2 months without sex either and by the way it's not just about the sex, it's about the intimacy, I bet you talk to him, this person you saw him doing it with may just someone that just simple makes him feel good"
"You're right" Carl said nodding his head
"So he doesn't know that you lost your job, so that also says he doesn't know your place is in foreclosure either am I correct?"

Carl nodded quietly agreeing. Robert didn't have any easy solutions to helping Carl but helped him understand that lying to hide his broken ego didn't help his relationship nor did running away from help him either.

"You think he'll forgive me?"
"I don't know Carl, but you won't know unless you ask him yourself"

On the other side of town, Dre and Dion took I-75 to Dre's neighbourhood of College Park. Surprisingly enough there was little traffic going south. Dion had his hands interlocked with Dre. The two were listening to listening to V103 on a lower volume. Every now and then Dion would get catch a glimpse of Dre who was one of those focused drivers. Dre caught Dion catching these glimpses. "What?" he said with a chuckle and a slight smile. "Nothing, how did we get to where we are at?" Dion asked "Do you mean are we moving way too fast?" "Y - Yeah?" Dion said "Maybe but we're both enjoying each other right?" Dre said looking over to Dion "Yeah"

"We do have something in common. We're both two young, attractive, working black men in a city of ineligible bachelors and eligible whores..."

This description made Dion laugh

"We both have things about us that we are not proud of that affects us, but that's the beauty of love and karma. They brought us together to help fix each other and build each other"

This made Dion melt in the passenger seat of his car. How could somebody so young be so romantic and so available towards him? he thought as they continued their drive to the south side.

"Now I have a roommate. His name is Treymon, he's a bit messy so you might have to excuse the apartment, it might look like Katrina blew through that motherfucker" Dre said
"Damn"
"Yeah my roommate is from New Orleans and came here right before Katrina hit and I guess decided to stay here but he's on some crazy shit."
"hmm"
"I wouldn't be surprised if his piece is there. That motherfucker bothers me, he's always there. He lost his job which I can understand that but now Trey asks me can dude stay with us for a little bit longer until he gets on his feet because dude just lost his house but I'm like dude he gots to go soon"
"Aww man I'm sorry to hear that. I'm lucky I don't have that roommate situation"
"Yeah for a large house, I'm surprised you don't share it anyone"
"I shared it at one point, they're just never there" Dion said looking over out his window
"Gotcha" Dion said

Later that early afternoon, Dion and Dre had just gotten back from College Park and arrived at Lenox Mall. Dre changed into a simple black shirt that read in white letters 'You See Me' a pair of dark denim jeans and a pair of red and black leather chucks. Dre parked his Nissan in the extra parking lot and the two arrived inside the mall. The two decided to do a bit of window shopping and the sight of the two of them drew stares from the store owners, employees, janitors, girls, boys, men and women. The two were oblivious to all this attention, they were just having a good time in each others company. What everyone was looking at was an amazing looking couple that even though they didn't publicly show it, you felt their bond and their love for each other. Dion felt a sense of security in being around Dre and Dre felt a sense of trust he had never allowed himself to experience. The only public display of affection the two shared was very discreet moments when Dion would get on the escalators in front of Dre, Dre would grab on to Dion's waist and give a slight squeeze, something about this made Dion smile on this inside while he didn't visibly show it.

While walking down the halls of the mall, the two ran into Marlon and his friend Leon who would sometimes dress up as Leona and today he was Leona with a Leon twist. Marlon and Leon were having a blast shopping each had several bags in their hand. Leon had on a pair of of skin tight jeans, a pair of black lace strapped open toe shoes and a somewhat snug girl shirt on, dark skinned with Prada classes a slick short hairstyle reminiscent of Fantasia but the kicker was is that she had gold fronts. Marlon was wearing a white shirt under an Aeropostale grey and white striped cardigan, light blue True Religion jeans and men's Ugg boots. Dion did a double take and realized that Marlon was out but was caught by who he was with

"Oh my god Marlon? I didn't expect to see you here" Dion said in shock
"Oh so finally you decide to come out" Marlon said clenching his cheekbones
"Leona?" Dre said in a complete surprise
"You know this bangy cunt over here" Marlon said jokingly
"Bangy? bitch I give you realness 24/7 you hear you me Housewife of Atlanta?" Leona replied taking over her glasses to expose her long extension lashes and pointed out her open toe lace strap shoes.

Everyone laughed at the running into each other.

"So Dion this is my friend Leon he works as a hair and wig stylist" Marlon said. Dre interjected and introduced Leon "But on the weekends at a club near you she goes by the name Leona Perry as Leon/Leona decided to give face and strike a pose "Yes Diva" Marlon egged him on. This caused a bug eyed response by Dion, he was taking in Leon/Leona's outright openness, clearly it's been a while since he's been out actually living. "Well Marlon this is Dre" Dre and Marlon shook hands "so pleased to meet you" Marlon replied cordially. "Listen we need to get all this stuff to the car but Dion, we'll catch up" Marlon said looking at both Dion and Dre with high brows. Leona/Leon said his salutations to Dion as well

"Are they a couple?" Leon/Leona inquired
"They might as well be" Marlon replied
"How you doin'"
"Awlright"

Marlons phone started ringing in his pocket. He stopped and rested his bags on the floor to answer it, it was Robert. Marlon put his iPhone to his ear to find out what Robert wanted.

"Hey babe whats up"
"Marlon, did you know Dion had started seeing someone else"

Marlon paused for a second, looked back at Dion and looked around

"No, why?"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure, whats up?"
"Carls back in town...he went to the house to see Dion but found him in bed fucking some dude, he came over here shortly after clearly upset. I think he's headed back over to the house. So if you see him or talk to him, tell him. He's headed back over there now to try and work things out"

This caused a look of shock on Marlons face, by now he had lost sight of both Dion and Dre.

"Ok...yeah I will"
"Thanks sweety see you tonight"
"Babe, maybe you should go over there just to make sure everything remains cool"
"That's their relationship to fix and though I thought about it, this is Carls mess to fix. He created it with his consistent absence, in a way he's at fault. There's not much I can do"
"But damn catching your man in bed with someone else will make you do some fucked up shit Robbie" recalling the time they got caught by Robbie's wife years ago
"He won't do anything stupid, he's hurting yes but will do what it takes to get his shawty back"
"Ok listen I gotta go real quick, I got all these bags..."
"Aight see you when you get here"

The two hung up and immediately Marlon switched to his text screen to text Dion "If you haven't already now would be the time to tell Dre about you having a man, Carl is in town and is headed to the house" unsure of whether or not Dion would get it.

Dre and Dion sat in the food court where it was relatively empty still. In a semi awkward moment the two just sat there and looked at each other. Dion felt his phone vibrate and it was a call from his house, this made his heart thump as no one should be at the house. He let the phonecall go ignored but then saw the text from Marlon. This drew a frown on Dions face as he is confronted with possibly ending his fantasy relationship with Dre. "What" Dre said noticing the change in Dions body language.

"I have a boyfriend or at least I thought I did" Dion said slumped in his chair
"What" Dre said in a bit of anger
"My boyfriends been away for a little over a month and through the time we've been together I would see him maybe a week at a time"
"When were you going to tell me"
"We've only been seeing each other a couple of days, I didn't expect this and don't lie to yourself and say you did...Come on now, you arrive at my doorstep, suckin my dick, I didn't even know your name until after I shot all over your face and next thing you know we go days fuckin each other. I don't think that constitutes a relationship"
"So I was your sweet escape huh?" Dre said with a voice of dissapointment

Dion didn't know how to answer that because part of it was true and part of him began to fall for Dre.

"I do this all the time, I fall too hard" Dre said "...and why, I shouldn't never came to your place that night after we messed around"
"You shouldn't have but you did...why"
"I don't know I decided to take a chance"
"So did I"
"By stepping out on your boy? You call cheatin on ole dude taking a chance?"
"You're not being fair"

Dion felt bad enough already and hurting Dre started to make him choke up as we was prepared to lose not one but two men in his life. Dre drew back a little, realizing he may have hurt Dion's feelings.

"C'mon let's go" Dre said in low tone. The two got up and walked around the mall a bit more to cool off. Dre noticed a photo booth and figured this was a good way to break the mood. He took Dion by the hand and led him to the booth. "Get in" Dre said to Dion, he put money in the machine and joined Dion inside. Dion wasn't in the mood for pictures. The two were cramped in the tiny booth and after the slight argument it was a bit tense inside. Dre decided to get up and sit Dions lap and put his arm around him. The two locked eyes drew near each other and softly kissed each other on the lips the picture snapped them kissing catching the two by surprise, they broke apart realizing they were photographed kissing, the two looked at the camera as much as to say "wait" but instead the photobooth took another picture of them in a spontaneous smile shot. The photobooth took several shots of them being goofy. The final photo was another random shot of the two looking into each others eyes

"You're still mad at me?" Dion said in a soft voice
"Mmmm I'm pissed but I can get over it, I like you alot" Dre said

The two kissed again

"I'm a fix this, I promise" Dion said
"There's nothing to fix, It ain't broken" Dre said smiling in mid kiss.

Friends & Lovers (Part IV)

2009-12-07T23:56:00.007-05:00

The next morning, Dre woke up before Dion, He noticed Dion's swollen dick was up hard and laying against his stomach and appeared nice and full. He wanted to do something he hadn't done before. He wanted to do something that he had read turns alot of men on. Dre gently moved out the bed to not wake Dion up. He quietly reached into his pocket to grab a condom from out of his pocket of his jeans. He gets back in the bed, opens the condom wrapper and pull out the Magnum. He rolls it down from the head of Dions dick down to the base. Dion began to move a little but not by much. Dre had no lube and realized that the only way he was going to get wet was by using his own spit. He climbs on top of Dion and positions his dick to enter inside him. Dion began to breathe heavier and heavier, he began moaning and it began to reach higher and higher pitches. Dion woke up but Dre was only able to see the white of Dions eyes and then his eyeballs rolls forwards and he jumped up to look Dre in his eyes, Dion tightly grabbed Dre by the back of his neck with his right hand and his left hand on Dre's waist, Dion still breathing heavily in a low whisper "You made a big mistake doing that". This scared Dre in a way that was adventurous yet dangerous at the same time. He didn't Dion like this before and was wondering did he make him mad by waking him up in such a manner. Dre was unaware where all this strength came from as Dion began to pump his waist hard and thrust fast causing Dre to yelp loud and high "Shut up" Dion said in low angry grunt. "As a matter of fact, I'll give you something to scream about". Dion rolled Dre on to his back, his dick was at full hard on, swollen ready to blow. Dion regained his rhythm and began to give Dre long hard thrusts. Dion pounding on Dre's tight pink hole caused him to cry in both pain and pleasure.

Little did Dion or Dre know that Carl was walking in through the door. Immediately Carl was taken back by noises he heard coming from upstairs. His worst fears came true, he didn't have to see what was going on to know what was going on yet he decided torture himself with the sight of what he was about to see. Carl is slightly taller than Dion, 6'0 dark skinned muscular everywhere, its unsure what his hair is like because he kept it bald, he was clean and doesn't don any tattoos. The bigger surprise of all is that Carl is 12 years older than Dion. Carl had reached the top of the stairs and gently walked over to the door that was cracked, only to see a pair of legs up in the air and they weren't Dions, they were someone elses legs up in the air and Dion was in between them fucking. This shocked Carl because he was the top in that relationship. Carl and Dion had been together 4 years. Carl never let Dion fuck him. All Carl could hear are the sounds of agony that were buried into the sheets and sounds of Dion's balls slapping against the skin of the raised legs. Carl quietly walked away from the door and walked down the stairs, he didn't even pay his dog any attention what so ever. Carl closed to the door and open the door of his 2006 grey Nissan sat in the drivers. There was a picture of him and Dion taken in a photo booth at Lenox Mall, the sight of it made him cry as he realized that his dishonesty may have caused him the one thing he really loved.

In the bedroom, Dion had his right hand around Dre's neck as he was about to cum, he was by now drenched in sweat from all the hard fucking. He nutted inside of the condom, Dre wasn't able to get his in the heat of the moment. So many thoughts were racing through his mind and he was wondering did he fuck up or was Dion role playing. Dion gently pulled and ran to the bathroom to flush the condom down the toilet. He didn't kiss Dre when he was done, he didn't say anything. He immediately hopped in the shower. This caused a great deal of worry in Dre's thoughts. All he wanted to do was pleasure the man that makes him feel, the man that he's been spending the last few days with and the man that he began falling for so fast.

Dion finished his shorter than usual shower and walked drying himself off with a purple towel he had hanging up next to the shower stall. He walked over to where Dre was standing popped him on the ass and walked out the bathroom. Dre was still bothered that Dion had yet to kiss him. Dre decided not to think about it right away and decided instead to get in the shower.

Dion had full dressed this time in a green Lacoste polo, dark blue denim jeans and a pair of low Prada black sneakers. He made his way into the living room and turned on the television. It was the first time Dion turned his tv in recent weeks, he began to play with the dog who though docile loves a good belly rub.

Dressed and ready Dre takes the remote off of the couch where Dion was sitting and turns the television off "What's wrong" he asked in a noticeably upset tone "nothing..." Dion hesitated in his answer "I don't like when I'm being lied to especially by people I love" Dre said and he caught himself realizing that he just admitted to loving Dion. This also caught Dion by surprised because he found it difficult to lie to Dre about how he felt about waking up to him riding him. "Sit down Dre, we need to talk and I need you to hear me out, ok". Dre took a seat on the couch next to Dion.

"You scared me. You brought back a memory that I wasn't quite ready to relive again. I was molested by my nanny when I was 12 and the sad thing is my dad knew what happened because he gave her permission to do it because she wasn't my nanny, she was my dads other woman whom he was cheating on my mom with" Dre was disgusted by this news "...I woke up to this woman on me, riding me, I was scared, paralyzed and didn't know what to do and..." "Oh my god" Dre said softly "I had no idea, I'm so sorry" "Baby, it's not your fault. I should be the one apologizing for how I acted just now, I was scared and overreacted and risked hurting you in the process...why do you even like me? why do you love me? Dion looked at Dre. Dre got up and sat in Dions lap facing him "I know I like you, I knew that from the moment I first saw you, I don't know why I love you but I know that I should just because. I hope that maybe this day together will give me an idea of why I love you" Dre gently kissed Dion on the forehead. Something about that one kiss made a tear stream down Dions cheek. Dre got choked up seeing Dion crying "Anytime if you need me, I will be right by your side. You ain't gotta worry about anything" Dre continued.

Dre was everything that Carl wasn't. Dre is warm, Carl was cold. Dre is versatile, Carl is a Top. Deep down inside Dion knew he didn't deserve Dre because technically he stills has a boyfriend and has yet to figure out how to tell him.

"Listen, I need to get up and go home and change clothing, I got my drawls in my back pocket so I'm over here freeballin and shit" Dre said jokingly "Let's take my car and I'll show you my hood"

"Aight, cool" Dion said. Dre tapped Dion on the chin motioning a punch to his chin. Dion knew what Dre is feeling for him is almost mutual. This guy couldn't be any more perfect for him and much more what he needed in his life in a man. Sure Carl was his boyfriend but Carl wasn't the "it" dude to be with. Carl was the man that just happened to be there and appeared less messy than alot of the men that roamed Atlanta.

Dion was taken aback by the grey Nissan that was parked across the street, even though it was Dre's and he was walking towards it, it looked strikingly similar to Carls car. In all suspicion, Dion went around the front to look at the license plate and it wasn't Carls license plate. Relieved, Dion got on the passenger side and Dre started the car and began to drive down the street. "We're going to take 75 down and come back up to Lenox Mall, sounds good?" Dre said waiting for Dions approval "Sure, let's do this". Dion smiled as Dre locked his right hand with his left hand as the two new lovers are about to enjoy their first official date.

Friends & Lovers (Part III: Spilled)

2009-12-05T02:16:00.006-05:00

It was 7PM, the sun hid below the horizon yet the moon was hiding behind the clouds making it so dark outside. It began to rain heavily on the streets of Dion's Buckhead neighbourhood. Dion and Dre removed themselves from the bed they had just finished making wild love in. I guess it's fair to say they brought the rain. Dre had wiped the semen off his face that Dion ejected during their wild climax and rolled the condom off of his semi-hard yet not so soft dick walked into the bathroom and flushed it down the toilet. The bathroom that was connected to this room was huge. Dre was taken aback by the amount of space it had. The toilet was in a corner by itself and across from it was a large 2 person sink, a bath tub and a large shower with enough space between the shower and the bath tub for a hot tub. Dion began to run the shower water near hot. He looked over at Dre admiring the black marble on the sink, the mechanical toilet and the high ceiling and yelled from the shower "Are you getting in or am I going to have to wet my own back?" Dre looked at Dion smirked "Oh don't worry shawty, I can wet your back alright" "Oh I bet you can" Dion replied with a slight giggle. Dre stepped into the shower where Dion was already started getting cleaned up. Dre began looking at some of the products Dion had hanging on the wall storage in the shower. Aveda Scalp Benefits Shampoo & Conditioner and Korres Lemon & Basil Shower Cream Gel. "Try it" Dion said "It smells good". Dion was right, Dre responded well to the new products. In Dre's mind, he felt Dion may be a bit high maintainance and borderline bourgeois for his normal liking instead he inquired about some of the products to try and get to know about Dion a little better. "So you like high end stuff huh" Dre began to ask Dion. "High end? not at all. I'm just allergic to alot of stuff, Sometimes cheap products make me dry and itchy and you start seeing me get a red rash all over my body. I try to use all natural products as best as I can" "Cool" Dre said. This brought a bit of relief for this low maintenance kind of guy from Detroit.

Meanwhile Marlon at his apartment in his quite neighbourhood, Had a large pot of one of his personal specialty dishes Six Cheeses Lasagna. This was one of his expert dishes and a favourite of his lovers, Robert. It sat in the oven cooking well the cheeses were marinating and coming together so well packed with Mozzarella, Parmesan, Romano, Asiago, Provolone and Fontina. Presentation was everything and what would dinner be without Italian bread Robert brought from the supermarket and red wine on the kitchen counter. Robert had been busy pulling together a story on the huge mayoral races going on in the city and had been so wrapped up and distant. He had been in the office which is located next to the stairs and across from their living room all day and finally decided to come out of hiding. He quietly walked into the kitchen where Marlon was there sipping on a glass of red wine.

Robert was his usual 6'3 light skin, brown eyes but this time instead of short curly soft hair he began cutting his hair in a dark Caesar and his white teeth began stained by the coffee had been drinking to stay up late nights and his muscular physique had been worn down to a moderate toned figure from not working out as much. Robert followed in the footsteps of a man he admired, Keith Olbermann and went from being a sports announcer to a political correspondent for CNN. Robert has begun to look weathered but still very attractive and to Marlon, he was his world. Marlon reached into the cabinet over his head and pulled out a wine glass and poured some for his lover halfway. Robert looked at the glass and hesitated to drink it. He looked at Marlon and paused abruptly before speaking "If the glass is filled halfway, is it half full or is it half empty" He asked. Without hesitation Marlon replied "It doesn't matter, the glass will always be filled halfway! why whats up?". Robert took a short sip from his glass "It's Carl" "What about him?" Marlon asked now thinking about what him and Dion spoke about. "He told me to promise not to tell anyone but you're my lover and I can tell you anything. Carl lost his job last month" "WHAT?" Marlon put his glass down on the kitchen counter and folded his arms "So he's been away this whole time, having Dion think that he's away on work and this whole time he's been unemployed? what the fuck?" "Yeah it doesn't seem fair" Robert said in a low raspy tone taking another sip. "Robert, business is slowing down for Dion too and quite frankly the mortgage on that place is fuckin ridiculous, so what? do we tell Dion?" Marlon said with a slight of disgust "I think we should invite him over and break it down to him" Robert said with a nod of agreement from Marlon. "Let's eat, foods should ready" Marlon said.

1am back at Dion's house, The two lovers Dion and Dre had moved from the 3rd guest room to the master bedroom where Dion sleeps. The master bedroom was different from the guest rooms. Instead of being a queen size bed, Dion sleeps in a King Size Bed and the room is carpeted. The two men laid naked in the bed, Dion on his back and Dre to his right, sprawled out next to him on his stomach, his left palm covered Dion's left pec, Dre's left wrapped leg wrapped around Dion's right leg. Dre subtly Dion on his shoulder and neck. "I really enjoy spending time with you" Dre whispered into Dion's ear. "Me too. when are you off?" Dion said in a low voice

"Tomorrow, why?"
"Hmm, let's do something like a movie or something, go to the mall or whatever"
"Sure, I need to get up and change, we can take my car".
"Cool" Dion replied. He kissed Dre on the forehead and laid his head back down and went to sleep.

Friends & Lovers (Part II: A Special Arrangement)

2009-12-03T04:10:00.001-05:00

Dion although moved by the present he received from Carl, he had a hard time accepting it for what it was. He runs back up the stairs and grabs his iPhone from under his pillow and dials his friend Marlon. It took one ring for Marlon to pick up his phone.

"Hey you" Marlon answered in a higher perky voice, excited to hear from his friend
"Hey are you busy"
"No I been chillin actually, you know Robbie and I just moved to Smyrna from Alpharetta right?"
"Oh that's great, why didn't you tell me you were you moving, you're like 15 minutes away from me, if you got a minute you should come through"
"That's not a bad idea, we should crack a bottle"
"Marlon..."
"What?"
"It's 11:15am"
"Well shit, it's drink-thirty somewhere in the world"
"You're a mess"
"I'll be right over"

Marlon drives his bright yellow two door Mustang down the narrow road in Dion's neighbourhood of Buckhead. He gets out gently opens his door, steps out and closes his door. Marlon is 5'11 slim yet thick where necessary in which he contributes to being in a relationship, brown skin, brown eyes and dimples on his cheeks. He was dressed comfortably wearing a pink and blue striped polo from Lacoste , yellow khaki pants and a pair of white uptowns, dressed very Northerner. He walks away from the car and sees Dion walking out his door taking trash out.

"Look at you being all domestic" Marlon says with a big grin
"I know right, just go on ahead in and make yourself comfortable, I'll be in shortly"

Dion's classic Jack Russell Terrier walks up to Marlon and stands up against his leg. Dion walks in and shuts down the door behind him and notices Brown being friendly with Marlon.

"C'mon Marlon let's go in the kitchen"
"Yes because that's where the liquor is" Marlon said

Dion pulled two glasses off of his dry dishes rack and pulled a tall bottle of Disaronno out of the top cabinet. He then opened the refrigerator to drop two cubes of ice in each class and filled the glass half way with the brown liquor, swiftly turns around serves Marlon his glass who had been waiting at the island counter patiently like the lush that he can be.

"I've been a bad boy" Dion says in a low whisper
"What you mean you been a bad boy?" Marlon says with his left eyebrow raised to the heavens.

"I cheated on Carl this morning"
"Oh dear, bring that bottle of Disaronno here"
"Yeah" Dion said with a hard sigh
"What happened? Adam4adam?"
"No"
"BGC?"
"No"
"Men4now"
"No"
"Manhunt"
"Marlon who does manhunt these days"
"You're right...then HOW?"
"Fed-ex guy"

Marlon dropped his empty glass on the island counter, his eyes widened and his mouth dropped

"Right there at the doorway, shawty gave me some serious Becky"
"Oh my God, Dion"

The two paused and Dion began to pour himself more of the Disaronno in his glass and refilled Marlon as well

"Well Dion, If it makes you feel any better, eatin ain't cheatin"

This caused a giggle from Dion but the guilt he felt was still bothering him.

"Well there's more. I invited him to come over this evening"
"Wait do you even know his name?"
"Yes! his name is Andre but he goes by Dre"
"Dre..tall, dark skin, pretty teeth, nice toned body, tattoo on his chest of a Phoenix going all the way across"
"Yes, yes but I didn't see a tattoo on his chest, He was getting my dick in down his throat with his uniform"
"Well" Marlon said with a gasp clutching his chest "Find out if theres a tattoo there"
"Why do you think you had him"
"Absolutely not but I think he dances at Traxx"
"Ugh Traxx"
"Yeah he seems a bit young but he's nice, real cute. Robert and I saw him there when we first moved to Atlanta to explore the club scene here"
"I guess" Dion said as he took more sips of his drink
"Well you invited him over, if you're not feeling it then cancel"
"I can't, I don't have his number, I just told him to come over"
"This is just...This is just all types of messy" Marlon said in a voice of dissapointment "It's just sloppy"
"I know I know"
"I'm not going to judge you, If you only knew the pickles I've been through with Robert while I was in New York puh-lease, anyway I gotta run, I gotta do some food shopping. I'd invite you and this Dre person over but being that Robert is close with Carl all of the sudden, that would just cause mess and I don't plan on telling him about this"
"Thanks, I was going to tell you don't tell Robert"
"Don't worry about it, it's just Robert has a nose for messiness now"

Marlon gets up from the island counter and walks out down the hallways towards the front door and walks to his parked yellow two door Mustang. "Call me" he yelled as he gets to the driver side of his car. He drives off down the street out of sight in a matter of near seconds.

Later that night.

At exactly 6 on the dot. Dion had on a plain yellow v neck tee shirt and a pair of red skinny jeans sagging gently off of his ample butt and pair of Supra high tops dressed like a skater boy. There was a ring at Dion's door. He was busy straightening up in the living room and walked over to the door, opened the door. It was Dre, this time he looked different, He wore a striped shirt yellow, white and blue buttoned down over his dark denim white stitching Antik jeans and black prada sneakers. Dion stepped aside and nodded his head motioning Dre to come on in. Dre gave Dion a warm smile as he closed the door behind him and escorted Dre to his living room where the dog Brown was sleeping under the coffee table. They both sat on Dions plush couch in front which was situated perfectly in front of the 80 inch flat screen plasma television with a surround sound entertainment system hanging from every corner of the living room.

"You want something to drink" Dion asked in a noticeable nervous tone
"Nah, I'm good. I'm not thirsty, 'sup witchu tho"
"Shit, tryin to figure you out"
"What you wanna know"
"Tell me about you"
"OK, I moved here with my dad and my step mom from Detroit. My parents wanted to give me and my sister a better life. I moved out a few months ago working at Fed Ex and sometimes I dance at Traxx and The Cheetah on the weekend"
"You said you moved with your parents, so that mean you live with them?"
"No, I moved out after my dad found out I was dancing at Traxx actually..." Dre said with a slight studder "...he kicked me out"
"I'm so sorry to hear that, how did he find out anyway?"
"One of his faggot ass co-workers told him"
"Oh damn"
"And you know whats fucked up, it's not even like he had anything to benefit from it, he did it because I wasn't trying to do his old ass"
"What? well What your mom say?"
"What about her? She lives in L.A. with some rich white dude and their 4 kids. I only hear from her once, maybe twice a year...my birthday and Christmas"
"That's fucked up Dre"
"Nah its cool. tell me about yourself, what you do to live in this amazing house"
"Amazing?"
"Yeah" Dre said with a small chuckle
"Umm you haven't been to any of the other areas have you. This is okay at best. I flip homes, I buy them, renovate and upgrade them and then I sell them for way more than their value but right now because of the economy, I haven't been able to sell this one and quite frankly this is the one that's given me the most trouble to sell, so I decided to make this one home for a while."
"Cool" Dre said with a nod of approval
"Ya know what let me show you what makes this house so nice"

The two got up, and walk out the living room and walked to the left of the living room and head in the direction of the kitchen. "So this is the kitchen". Dre nodded his head at the site of all the brand new appliances. They then take a walk up the stairs and where there are 3 large bedrooms. 2 right next to each other and one in the corner. Dion decided to show Dre what the guest room in the corner looked like which appeared as something out of a home and crafts magazine with fresh linen and sheets and smelled brand spanking new with hard wood floors and furniture from West Elm.

"So what do you think?" Dion turned around and asked Dre

Dre walked up to Dion with seductive eyes and went straight to kiss the inside of Dions neck on his left side with his hands pressed on Dions waist while Dions arms laid at ease. Dion let out a sigh of relief and desire and then Dre stopped and looked into Dions eyes and began to kiss him hard and strong. Dion wrapped his arms around Dre's neck causing the kiss to become more intense. The both of them at this point are able to feel each others hard dicks pressed against each other. Dre then reached into Dions white Calvin Klein boxer briefs and began to massage his round ass so gently. Dion began to get more aggressive by diving into Dres chocolate neck causing Dre to reciprocate by gently playing with Dions wanting and hairless crack until he reached his tight hole.

Within moments notice, Dre picked Dion up causing Dion to wrap his legs around his waist and moved to the bed in which Dre fell on top of Dion yet continue to kiss each other. Dre begins to move down Dions body, unbuckles his black belt and pulls down his boxer briefs and pants down at the same time and began to gently kiss his dick from top to bottom, however the tables have turned. Dre rolls Dion on to his stomach and began to dive into the cracks of Dions perfectly plump butt and began not eating, licking and sucking on Dion perfectly clean hole causing Dion to lose control of all emotion. Dion took his left hand to push Dres face further in as he could right his right hand began to tightly grip the sheets. Dre presented yet another skill by sucking Dions long 8 inch dick which was pressed against the sheets behind him instead of in front of him and making his way back up to eat and back down the dick. Dre had eaten Dion so good that he had to wipe to saliva and booty juice from his lips and chin to continue eating the Dions now wet, juicy and ready ass.

Dre slips Dions sneakers off, slides pants and boxers down his legs and they begin to fall on the floor. He takes his owns off without untying them and drops his pants and boxers down to the floor. He goes into his jeans to pull out a Trojan Magnum to fit the girth of his 8.5 inch cut dick and immediately cuts the package open with his teeth, spitting out the corner and rolls the condom down his dick all the way to the base. Dre got on top and began to slow grind while spooning his arms cupping behind Dions shoulders, he continue to gently kiss Dions neck and upper back. Dre reached down to position the head of his dick to penetrate Dion, but he had a better idea. Dion pushes Dre on his back gets on top to ride on top. This change in plans surprises Dre as it shows in the widening of his eyes. Dion situated himself on Dres dick and began to gently ride motioning and winding his ass up and down and even around in circles causing a slight degree of pain and pleasure at the same time yet sending Dre into ripples of ecstasy. Dion pressed his hands on Dres tattoo'ed chest while Dre pinched and played with Dions nipples causing him to ride even harder and deeper until Dre hits that spot that not too many men have the pleasure of hitting and the ones that do know about it revel in its joy.

Both guys are now drenched in sweat, both are heavily breathing, Dions hole is now wet and slightly loosened and Dres balls are soaked from all the juices. Dion finally busts. He shoots his load all over Dre's chest, neck, chin, lips and a few spurts catches Dre near his eyes, but Dre doesn't care he gets his nutt and is laid paralyzed, the nutt was so good Dion was able to count all of Dres ribs through his tight abs. Dion mounts off of Dre and lays at his side exhausted, worn and sweaty.
Dre looks down at the condom covered dick, the head is filled with semen and was even more amazed at how spotless over the condom is. He wiped the nutt from off his eyes with the knuckles of his thumbs.

"This shit with nutt getting in my eyes...is this going to happen every time we mess around?" Dre looked over and asked Dion. Looking back, Dion laughed and smiled "I warn you, I'm a big shooter, all the time, anytime". As a gesture to make it up to Dre, Dion licks the nutt that had landed on Dres chin and kisses him with it. "Damn, who's nasty now shawty" Dre whispers "Come on, lets gets in the shower, this room has its own shower". Dion proposed "Help me up, I'm mad tired yo" The two laughed at each other and how they both wore each other out. Dion helps Dre up and they both go to the shower, only just because they both bust crazy ass nutts doesn't mean it's quite over.

Meet In Tha Middle - Timabland featuring Bran'nu Brandy

2009-11-30T12:42:00.003-05:00

I can't stop gushing about this track. Brandy as her rap alter-ego Bran'Nu really slang her p**** juice all over this track like it was deli meat and said here now eat it! If you remember a few years ago Monica dibbled and dabbled into rap and while her flow was more of a sexy sultry feminine deliverance that was oh so missing in Hip-Hop altogether, Brandy gives you classic street flow reminiscent of 90's Lil Kim and Foxy Brown with awwhh yeah ah-ha and the unnecessary grunting. So without further ado here is the link for "Meet In Tha Middle" from Timbaland Presents...Shock Value: Volume II

http://evilshare.com/ih5xv86psmoa/04_Meet_In_Tha_Middle__featuring_Bran__Nu_.mp3.html

Download: Beyoncé | I Am... Yours: An Intimate Performance at Wynn Las Vegas HERE!

2009-11-21T08:48:00.010-05:00

Copy and Paste this link into URL
http://evilshare.com/casgcdnp4yhg/I_Am..._Yours__An_Intimate_Performance_at_Wynn_Las_Vegas.zip.html

ßeyoncé - I Am... Yours: An Intimate Performance At Wynn Las Vegas
(in stores November 23rd)

Tracklisting
Disc 1
1. Hello
2. Halo
3. Irreplaceable
4. Sweet Dreams Medley; Sweet Dreams\ Dangerously In Love\ Sweet Love
5. If I Were A Boy; If I Were A Boy\ California Love\ You Oughta Know
6. Scared Of Lonely
7. That's Why You're Beautiful Medley; That's Why You're Beautiful\ Beautiful Ones
8. Satellites
9. Resentment
10. Deja Vu Jazz Medley; It Don't Mean a Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)\ Ornithology
11. Deja Vu

Disc 2
1. I Wanna Be Where You Are; I Wanna Be Where You Are\ Welcome To Hollywood
2. Destiny's Child Medley; No, No, No Part 1\ No, No, No Part 2 (featuring Wyclef Jean)\ Bug A Boo (H-town Screwed Mix)\ Bills, Bills, Bills\ Say My Name\ Jumpin', Jumpin'\ Independent Women Part I\ Bootylicious\ Survivor
3. Work It Out; Work It Out Sax Intro\ Work It Out
4. '03 Bonnie & Clyde
5. Crazy In Love
6. Naughty Girl
7. Get Me Bodied
8. Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) Medley; Electric Feel\ Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)\ Hey Hey Heys
9. Finale

Copy and Paste this link into URL
http://evilshare.com/casgcdnp4yhg/I_Am..._Yours__An_Intimate_Performance_at_Wynn_Las_Vegas.zip.html

Friends & Lovers: Part I - What's Yo' Fantasy

2009-11-19T11:32:00.009-05:00

Dion had it all. At 23 he lived a pretty mainstream easy going life in his townhouse in the Atlanta suburb of Buckhead. He drives a black Audi A4 convertible with tricked out spinning wheels and a sound system that will make the hairs of your cat stand up. He has a great job as a person who hustles homes in the Atlanta area. Dion has made a living of buying, fixing up and selling many Atlanta homes for more than the amount that he bought them for and therefore has a made a comfortable life for himself. He even has the boyfriend and a boy jack russell terrier named Brown. The boyfriend, Carl work who is a financial advisor for several Internatioanl trading companies tend to be away most of the time leaving Dion in Atlanta. Dion is 5'10 brown skin, very nice toned athletic build with the butt to go with it, high and perky, nice short wavy hair, he is everything pretty even down to his crest smile and everything you wouldn't want to leave at home.

It was around 9AM and it was another morning in which Dion woke up alone. He longed for the nights and mornings where he would wake up and Carl would be there in his arms but it was another business trip to Beijing, and the week before it was a trip to Tokyo and the week before that it was a trip to South Africa. The list of places seemed to be endless and so were the amount of mornings Dion woke up with an erection. Dion couldn't deny his man is sexy and just the thought of him turned him on so bad. With the sun bursting streams of yellow and white through his ceiling to floor windows, Dion woke up to look down at his 8 inch thick cut dick standing straight up under his sheets, he smiled and winked "Good Morning". He reached down with his right hand and began stroking his dick from his soft pubic hair from the based all the way to the head, rubbing his thumb across the head when it would get towards the tip while his left hand would gently caress his hard brown hairless nipples. It has been quite some time since Dion has pleasured himself and his body began to get hot from the long strokes of his thick black manhood as he began to take deeper breathes and then there was the ring of the doorbell...

[Ding Dong]

[Ding Dong]

The bell is so loud and it was hard for Dion to ignore it and this only infuriated him. He then put on the first thing he could find which were a pair of Spongebob pajama pants. He storms out of his bedroom and swings around the banister down the stairs

[Ding Dong]

"I'm coming damn chill" Dion yelled

Dion angrily opens the door and it's a male Fed-ex man. The Fed-Ex man was tall with soft spinning waves, brown skin with a dark ceasar cut and a killer line up, nice body, beautiful white smile and sexy baritone voice. There was a slight pause then a "What!" from Dion.

"Yeah this is a delivery for Mr. Dion Tate" The Fed-ex man says
"Yeah thats me" Dion replies
"I have a package for you here"

The Fed-Ex man hands Dion a rectangular brown box. He also hands

"Don't you guys use an electronic signature thing or whatever" Dion says trying to write with a pen that was just out of ink.
"Yeah it's the truck broken"

The Fed-Ex man eyes cruised over Dion's tight shirtless body and his eyes reacted to still erect dick in his spongebob pajama pants.

"Did I interrupt something?" The Fed ex man asked Dion as he struggled to sign his name on an inkless pen.
"Nah you didn't" Dion frowned slightly at the Fed ex man
"Looks like I did to me" The Fed ex man said licking his lips
"Are you kidding me are you working or you cruising?"
"Nah I'm a professional, I'm a working man, I just provide good friendly services thats all"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah let me in and I'll show you"

Throughout this entire exchange Dion's dick swelled even more in his pajama pants, you saw his dick beat to the same rhythm of his heavy beating heart. Dion decided to ask the Fed-ex man in.

"So what's good" Dion softly said

The Fed ex man kissed Dion's already aroused nipples one by one and proceeded to lick him down the middle of his tights abs down to his belly button and began to lick around it causing Dion to jump a little out of reaction to being ticklish. The fun began when Dion was able to close his eyes and feel the wet of dudes mouth massaging his dick. At first he was being shy about the head. Dion was still tense because this was everything that he expected to be in some low budget porn but coming to life however, this was reality, this was more than he ever could imagine because Fed ex man decided to deepthroat his dick, his head feeling the warmth and the tightness of dudes throat. After a few minutes of this Dion's dick is not only wet but the noises of Fed ex dudes lips smacking and swallowing Dion's entire dick literally were too much of a turn on. This is blowing both of their minds but not before...

"Oh shit I'm about to nutt"

Fed ex man Quickly stops but couldnt avoid the streams of nutt which flies all over his face just missing his right eye, "Oh shit" he says getting it all over the middle of his face down to his full lips and chin, some managed to hit the wall behind him but managed not to get it on the shirt of his Fed ex uniform.

"Damn" Dion said softly barely standing he holds on the wall behind Fed ex man in which he used to balanced himself.

"Hold on, let me get you real quick"
"Yeah thanks"

Dion pulls up his Spongebob pajama pants up and over his still hard and now swinging dick, runs to the kitchen and wets a brand new kitchen cloth for him. He comes back and places the cloth in Fed ex mans right hand "Here you go"

"Thanks" Fed ex man says

He wipes his face all around paying specific attention to the corner of his eye in which some of the cum had found its way.

"You aight, I didn't mean to get it in your eye like that..."
"Nah its cool, it doesn't burn too bad"
"Yeah it's not often that I get head delivered to my door"
"Ain't you glad I showed up" Fed ex man said licking the little bit of nutt off of his lips
"illl shawty you nasty, how you gon lick up my nutt like that"
"It taste good tho"

Dion bursted out in laughter and sat on the floor in front of dude.

"So what your name is" Dion asked in a low voice staring in dudes eyes
"Andre but I go by Dre"
"Aight Dre" Dion said with emphasis on his name "that was hot"
"Hell yeah" Dre says

Dre gets up and cracks his neck and picks up his clipboard and pen and begin to head back to out finish working.

"Aye Dre, take this and put it in the garbage outside. I don't need any evidence laying around"
"Oh you buggin"
"What?"
"Aight"
"By the way, what time you get off?"
"6PM"
"Won't you come through"
"I can do that"
"Cool"

Dion opens the door to let Dre out, he takes his belongings and walks out the door to his Fed-ex trucks and begins to drive off down the block. He closes the door and can't even believe that his Jack Russell Terrier has been so quiet and well behaved this whole time. Dion then rips the package open and it's from his barely existing boyfriend. He pulls out a glass award that reads

...to Dion,
You are my lover
You are my friend
You are my everything
Thank you for standing by me
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for being my joy
You make me the happiest man on earth
You are the best man anyone could ask for

Carl & Dion forever.

(...TO BE CONTINUED

Some Unholy War.

2009-11-18T17:11:00.003-05:00

Rachel Maddow was joined by The Huffington Post’s Frank Schaeffer Tuesday to assess the latest anti-Obama rhetoric from the right, including praying for his early death. Video courtesy of MSNBC "The Rachel Maddow Show"

My grandmother used to always say "Read you bible so that way no one can tell you what's in it" Unfortunately, what do you do when what's written in black and white is exactly what it says to do. Psalm 109 is a clear and present call Old Testament style to kill your leaders whether they be religious or political. I may not agree with all of President Obama's policies however, I don't agree with assassination either. I don't agree with this Third World coup d'etat mentality. Writing this right now gives me chills, I am cold and numb. Us as Democrats need to stop sniping our President for not moving fast enough and let him be a leader. President Bush did too much and meanwhile Republicans sat back and scratched their balls for 8 years. White Christian Evangelical Conservative Americans are rearing their ugly heads and hididng behind black bibles in the process. I ask that if you are a good person you pray for the safety and well being of this man. If anything happens to him, it'll be more or less a symbolism of not only hate for his presidency or him as a person but him as a dark faced being which will trickle down, mark my words. This isn't just about policy.

The Gaga Experience

2009-11-17T13:15:00.005-05:00

It's difficult to escape the phenomenon that is Gaga. I promise that I won't gush over this album being Lady Gaga has been the first artist to get me excited in a very long time however, it's kinda hard to not to notice how good this album is lyrically and you can hear loads of musical influences that helped shape who she is as an artist. On parts of this album you hear a bit of her signature sound, you hear the darkness of Grace Jones, the energy of ABBA, the lightness of Kylie Minogue and the cleverness of Janet Jackson.

"The Fame Monster" was expected to be an extension of her internationally successful "The Fame". Lady Gaga has continuously claimed that "The Fame Monster" will not repeat the theme of "The Fame" but instead will explore different emotions that potentially can get out of hand also known as "monsters" in life such as Fear, Love, Heartbreak, Lust, Anger etc.

The album starts out with her signature sound with producer Red One on "Bad Romance" with a fashion inspired video directed and designed by the great Alexander McQueen with dark pitched lyrics and a full throated hook and damn near operatic ohh's and ahh's throughout the song.

Right away, the album takes a new direction in "Alejandro" which sounds like a throwback to mid 80's Madonna with beefier vocals

The third track on the track "Monster" picks up the speed slightly. I hear Paula Abdul and Kylie Minogue all over this track. You will hear the breakdown of house music looping over the background during each of the verses which makes the song way more interesting to listen to. It's an overall fun track

The fourth track "Speechless" is the stand alone ballad on the album. It is not only a ballad but it's a power ballad with an original piano composition, heavy on live drum percussions and a cool guitar riff that appears throughout the track. This song is notable for being a letter to her dad who recently had open heart surgery.

Anyone who is old enough to recall the 70's/80's mega group ABBA will absolutely appreciate "Dance In The Dark". This on first listen was originally my favourite track. This song is what happens when Pop music in it's classic form is done correctly. The hook you can't get out of her head, again full throated and the breaks in between the song throughout to let you re gather yourself between vocals is absolutely pleasant.

"Telephone" is the second time Lady Gaga collaborates with Beyonce and finds them working with producer Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins. You might want to pause on this one, Rodney Jerkins? Give him a try. Rodney Jerkins stepped out of his R&B/crossover comfort zone to accomodate Lady Gaga and even added an additional thump for Beyonce's verse to give the track some edge. The song is a very familiar situation that many couples experience: The girl that doesn't want to be bothered at the club so she picks up to argue the first couple of times and then decides not to pick up. As it's been said by many friends and associates of mine "If I didn't pick up or text you back the first couple of times what makes you think I will the next 18times?" What makes this song flawed is the song is kinda left flailing along with an operate recorded message spoken "We're sorry the number you have reached is not in service at this moment, please hang up and try your call again later". Rodney Jerkins also decides to let us know towards the end of the song that he produced it. Thanks Diddy *cough* I mean Rodney, congrats on the weight loss *rolls eyes and sighs* you look more and more like Diddy every time I see you.

So this song on first listen has already made it to my exclusive list of favourite songs ever. This is another example of pop music when done right can really get in your bones. What makes this song my favourite over "Dance in the Dark" is the lyrics really can make you a believer in love and romance without the lust even if you're in the worst of places emotionally. The production of this song is absolutely perfect! I tell everyone I can if you are happily in love or have been in a place where you experienced love in the past, this song is truly for you and I hope this becomes a single.

"Teeth" is produced by (take a seat) Teddy Riley of BLACKstreet. I think I'm going to end this here. This song is so Teddy Riley but Lady Gaga holds her own on this obvious R&B track. This song is about the importance it is to make a woman melt with your melt and god help you if you're teeth look a fool.

Overall this is the closest definition of a perfect album. It exceeds expectations of "The Fame" taking you through a tour of her "Fame Monster" concept. The album has texture and weight to it and is a perfect alternative to Rihanna's "Rated R" album which is also heavily inspired by Grace Jones' early 80's darkness.

Over all this album gets a flat A. Go get it! like now, no not now but like RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. :)

* Note: This album improved on my grade for "The Fame" in which I gave it a B- for accumulating too many filler tracks.

Sympathy for the Sideline Ho?

2009-11-09T14:20:00.002-05:00

I never thought I'd find myself writing about this but, I figured I'd give it a shot since everyone knows me purely as the person who is vocal against men and women who cheat and their accomplices. Over the past few months, I have been getting into people's and even my own unconventional thoughts on love and relationships. I began to ask myself over the weekend, what if the sideline ho is not really this classic figure that we see in movies and soap operas that come in and try to swoop in on the good man? what if she wasn't the figure that comes in with the hot red lipstick and the 5 inch heels and the body painted outfit on trying to seduce the man? What if in fact, she like any other single person in this world is looking for a good man.

Upon talking to some friends, We all began to ask ourselves where are all the good men? We came to the conclusion that, well all the good men are either dead (R.I.P.) or they are in fact taken in relationships. Let's be clear, you can not take a bad boy and turn him into a good man, that doesn't happen. Just like you can't take a hoe and turn her into a housewife. It's the same principle. In one situation, I have heard women find themselves in the situation where they meet a man who is at the end of his rope with a waning relationship (Alicia Keys knows this situation very well) yet he is still with that person, he comes upon a breath of fresh air and excitement. He is still technically still with their significant other however, he is devoting his time to the newbie or the sideline ho. A bad boy would try to string both of them along for the excitement. A good man will be straight up front with the newbie before anything sexual even goes down and explain to the side-dish that they are involved, it's not working out and there is a huge chance that they might get back together. In this scenario in many situations, the side-dish will stick around hoping that the relationship fails so he can be with them for a long time. I can't necessarily blame her and while I can put my own spin and thoughts on the situation, that is not what this is about.

Anyone who is single wants a good man or woman in their life to be with even if its short lived. The ability to be wanted, needed and loved is a feeling that is inevitable with being the imperfect human and to get it any which way you can comes with the territory. Let's be clear here, I am not in any which way condoning cheating and I am not telling people it's okay to scout out married men/women to seek thrills and side relationships with. I do however, understand why sideline hoe's, side-dishes or whatever name you want to call them exist.

Being single is today's "dating market" has become increasingly difficult by the year. It has almost become like survival of the fittest and only the few will see the prize of a long lasting relationship. We have become as a society predisposed to being judgemental towards "the other woman" because it's easy to put fault and blame on them because she is part of the reason but she is only a small part of the reason. The problems that would even allow a sideline ho to even exist, is one that needs to be dealt with inside the relationship and quickly. A thief can't steal your purse if it's secured around your body, we're always taught this in signs and TV promotional ads preventing to muggings and same applies to relationships.

I thought I'd never find myself justifying a sideline hoe's reason to "steal" a man away from someone else. I consider myself a good man and can honestly say that even I came very close to laying in the arms of temptation and for me, it occurred right when I was at my most emotionally vulnerable and sexually frustrated. The only thing that stopped me from going through with it is that I confided in a friend who talked me out of it altogether. So it shows that even a person with good logic can fall prey to temptation. There is so easy way to conclude this so I'm going to go ahead and ask What are your thoughts

(Leave me your comments, you know I love those)

A Precious Award?

2009-11-05T18:53:00.004-05:00

Obese, illiterate teenager Clareece "Precious" Jones lives in Harlem with her dysfunctional family, she has been impregnated twice by her father and is in a destructive relationship with her mother. Precious is invited to an alternative school where she hopes that her life can change direction. Now, while this all sounds like something that you'd see on Maury Povich or for better ratings, Oprah Winfrey, this is the plot to the movie "Precious" based on the popular novel "Push". Clareece is played by Gabourey Sidibe with Monique playing her abusive mother. The film also stars Lenny Kravitz, Paula Patton and Mariah Carey as Ms. Weiss.

I look at this movie as another big break for Black directors, actors/actresses to really kick down the doors of Hollywood that has been closed or merely cracked. While a small percentage of people who will view the film see the stereotype of Blacks being perceived as always struggling and hurting. Let us not forget ignore that many Black films in comparison to films of an all white cast tend to express morals and values consistent with Middle America. This isn't a blaxploitation and the stories are about as real as if the plot occurred in a white family, a latino family or a European family with subtitles at the bottom. The movie is gritty but promises to move audiences of all colors, race, ages and genders.

With Academy Award wins by African-American actors being limited to an exclusive club of Hattie McDaniel, Sidney Poitier, Harry Belafonte, Halle Berry, Denzel Washington (twice), Jaime Foxx and most recently Forest Whitaker, Morgan Freeman and Jennifer Hudson, one would question does this movie in all of it's high prise in an "Obama-era" (taking all politics out though) bring home the golden bacon in Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress categories along with possibly Best Screenplay.

Mo'nique by many critics may have a late night talk show on BET that loses ratings every time she shows her arms, but she shows that she has the acting chops to star in a dramatic film. Mo'Nique plays the abusive mother of Precious played by Gabourey Sidibe and has earned her front runner spot for Best Supporting Actress, the same position Jennifer Hudson found herself in when playing Effie White in "Dreamgirls". I ask also can Gabourey Sidibe bring a Best Actress in a Lead Role nomination for her turn as the troubled teen. Can Mariah Carey land a nomination for being completely made under as the no nonsense Ms. Weiss who was originally to be played by Academy Award winner Helen Mirren.

The winners club for African-American actors are limited with a larger balloon of those who did not win including Dorothy Dandridge, Cicely Tyson, Diahann Caroll, James Earl Jones, Danny Glover, Angela Bassett and that's just to name a few. I do look for big things in the future from Will Smith, Nia Long, Viola Davis, Taraji P. Henson, Nate Parker (?), Kimberly Elise and another win for Jennifer Hudson. While I don't have amazingly huge expectations, I am tremendously optimistic about African-American actors and actresses.

(Leave me your comments you know I love those)

Good Morning Afghanistan. Wake Up America

2009-10-30T20:46:00.007-04:00

I am not a part of the military, marines, navy or coast guard. I don't have relatives in the armed services either. I am however, a US citizen that though I didn't support the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan, I still wanted to believe in our President George W. Bush and his administration to in fact find Osama Bin Laden. 8 years later however, we are finding ourselves in a different position. We are fighting in a war where it seems that there is no good answer. There is no A, B, C, D or E All of the above. This has to be extremely thought out and all the while Americans are weary and losing support for being in war. While I'm no expert in war strategy and I sure wasn't in 2002 when the country entered Iraq and Afghanistan it sure did feel rushed. It felt like a knee jerk reaction to the events of September 11Th, 2001. Well we are in the war, at the time the country favoured going in with the goal of righting the wrongs of what happened that day, getting even and bringing terrorists to justice.

Today is Friday, October 30, 2009 and Bin-Laden has yet to be found. Our military have semi-occupied two Muslim nations with very little resolve in bringing down the Taliban or Al-Qaeda. Most Americans like me are saying "Show me the Bin-Laden". It is fair to point out that in Summer of 2008, roughly 43% of Americans couldn't identify Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan nor Pakistan on a world map and that's just the few that supported our twin wars.

The point I am making is this, The U.S. troops are in a corrupt country (Afghanistan), fighting against another corrupt government (Pakistan) where if the U.S. stay in Afghanistan they are seen as "occupying" and if the U.S. leave it is free lunch for all of Al-Qaeda to come back into Afghanistan and seek a reign of bloody terror onto any civilians that aligned themselves with Americans in exchange for aide. The U.S. has also tried to buy the support of the Afghan people by building schools particularly for the young women of Afghanistan. If the U.S. leave then all that needs to happen is for the schools to be blown up, with children inside to keep especially young women from receiving an education.

I find it deeply sickening that it appears we are the only ones willing to fight this war. We can not prop ourselves up as a nation of peace when we are in two wars with a developing host spot occurring between Israel and Iran, in which we better stay out of that one. We are losing so more money on this war daily while nations like China and Japan invest in their future and stability. This country can not continue on this road and expect to be the leader of the free world. I may be the only one thinking this but it makes plenty of sense. More jobs are leaving overseas than coming in, the economy is weakened followed by a choke hold of a Health Care system. The United States is no longer a productive nation. It doesn't seem right to go for broke on this bad gamble, let's gamble is our own future and prosperity for our children.

Our military troops, Men and Women, Mothers, Fathers, Sisters, Brothers, Nieces and Nephews have spent more years in Afghanistan than the Russians. We lose more and more of our troops daily and General Stanley A. McChrystal says we need more troops. The reason there was an outrage for the Vietnam War was not because our country was simply at war, it was because the American people were losing. The people as Sarah Palin likes to quote "that makes this nation so great...real America" were losing their husbands, sons, nephews and brothers. There was this idea that if you drove past a bus stop with a school of children waiting for the bus that some time in the future, our country would be sending them into the same war that our family members fought. We can't allow that. Our President can't be willing to support. Sadly, however it's not as simple as I am for it, I am against it. I was not for nor against the Iraq and Afghanistan wars but instead I was in support of finding the people responsible for killing over 3,000 people and taking down the two buildings that especially in this economy will never be rebuilt again. I am more in support of bringing our troops home and ending this war responsibly, that is the real and human way to win this war. For our people, for the American people.

Mariah Then & Now

2009-10-26T06:05:00.005-04:00

Mariah has redone a few of her memorable photographic moments in music. The first being her memorable "Vision Of Love" photo and the second being her revealing Butterfly album cover. I still say her "Rainbow" album cover was her best. She was in the best shape of her life on that album.

1990

2009

1997

2009

Bros Over Hoes?

2009-10-24T23:19:00.006-04:00

Not so much buddy. Over the years among women it's been known as the "Girlfriend" rule and among guys it's known as "Bros over Hoes". What if your friend is the resident town whore. My grandmother always used to say, Pick your friends absolutely carefully because you my find yourself in precocious situations that won't be easy to get around. If you are friends with the guy that has to date all the cute guys or has to fuck all the cute boys in the city, it can make dating a bit harder. Many people will say, well in a city where there are infinite amount of boys to date, why go after your friends former date, lover, partner. Well, what if they actually do click. What if there is a connection there, that is different from the connection that you had with the person. One can't fault the friend or the lover for what is bound to be inevitable. People are allowed to run into each other, things tend to happen. There is only so much you as the friend is allowed to control especially when you personally have moved to something far better. If the past relationship, mattered so much how come you are no longer with that person.

This season of Desperate Housewives is examining that very idea of the "Girlfriend" rule. Bree (brilliantly played by Marcia Cross) is currently having an affair with her best friend (Susan Delfino played by Teri Hatcher) ex-husband, Karl. In this situation I sympathize with both Bree for falling for Karl but I am on Susans side on this only because Karl cheated of Susan multiple times and seeing him with other women particularly women that looked nothing like her brings back ugly memories of what those affairs did to her. Even though Susan is happily married to Tom Delfino, does she have a say if any of friends can date or have sex with her past partners.

I always viewed the "Girlfriend" rule as a way of restricting who your friends can see, just in case you happen to have a lonely night you can have the option to call one (or more) over for a late night cream. I personally don't buy it. I think it can get downright selfish in the event that you're friends with the town harlot. With the devastating and sometimes appalling popularity of online dating/sex sites, it has further closed in the gay community and has also find it's way into the heterosexual community as well. Everyone now knows a piece of everyone. It is unavoidable.

I have two scenarios and I'll try to make it short. Last year, I said goodbye to a dead-end friendship. It was a friendship were I was growing but the other person was stagnant and not really moving towards something. You can almost say we were both holding each other back. I found independence and they found self-confidence in the days after our friendship dissolved. What made the friendship dissolve was I got tired of being loyal to a friend that dated every good looking guy in the city of New York and Jersey City. I got tired of introducing them to him and seeing the familiarity and old "sparks" being rekindled. Later on, his friendship with his other friends also dissolved for that same reason.

In the second scenario. An ex-date of one of my best friend contacted me and explained how burned he was to find out that my friend jumped into a relationship after two weeks of knowing the guy. No courtesy, no "well I'm seeing this person and...", they found through pictures on facebook. Ladies and gentlemen, I've said it before putting too much on Facebook/Twitter can ruin you! Through consoling him, he explained that a friend of his wants to date him. Now they are very close to violating that "Girlfriend" aka "Bros over Hoes" rule. He did exactly what I mentioned early, he asked the new guy "How important is your friendship with him". Already by the answers, he knew that it would be an uncomfortable situation. However, that attraction is not going away anytime soon. It's actually been there for some time and they continue to dance around this attraction to each other. They both recognize it's only a matter of time before is before one is riding the others dick with disregard to my friend. My name is Bennett and I refuse to be in it. I have unconventional ways of thinking around many sensitive issues, as you see.

I tell people to evaluate how important this friendship is to them. Is it that important to explore love in such a fashion? If the answer is yes, you must be prepared to say goodbye to that friendship however, if the dating or relationship goes sour you have also left yourself completely "assed-out" of a shoulder to lean on. If you decide not to move forward with dating the past date, jumpoff, lover of your friend, you are stuck with that friend and you may have to explore other means of meeting people in which you will not continue to run into former lovers, boyfriends, dates, jumpoffs of your best friend.

If you are a harlot and you are reading this you also have to understand the climate in which we live in. If you have had sex with one person, you have in fact had sex with ten people, therefore you have closed the degrees of separation in an already minority community. So your friends hooking up with your past dates, lovers, jumpoffs is damn near inevitable and you might just have to suck it up for the sake of your friends happiness.

Where do you stand on this issue? Please leave me your comments, I love those.

Beyonce: Modern Gay Icon vs. "Ican't"

2009-10-20T02:20:00.009-04:00

gay icon: noun (plural gay icons)
A celebrity who is much admired by gay men and/or lesbians.

Description: Modern gay icons, who are predominantly female entertainers, typically garner a large following within LGBT communities over the course of their careers. The majority of gay icons fall into one of two categories: the tragic, sometimes suicidal figure or the prominent pop culture idol.

Some past and mostly infamous gay icons have included women of very strong or sometimes overbearing and dramatic demeanour such as Judy Garland, Bette Davis, Lucille Ball, Cher, Madonna and Cyndi Lauper. When the subject of modern gay icons in the African-American community today the finger is continuously pointed at Beyonce Knowles, former member of Destinys Child. She is able to be the definition a performer. She sings, she dances and she performs. While I don't take away from her ability to be an excellent performer. I personally think that her gay icon status should be in probation if not revoked.

In the days where mainly Caucasian homosexual Americans discovered their gay icon, the battle in that period was identity which put the big gay spotlight on people like Judy Garland in which her daughter Liza Minelli inherited her huge fan base and Bette Davis for her androgynous appearance on film. The battle then shifted to the fight against HIV/AIDS in which Madonna became the fiercest of advocates.

Today we are fighting a completely different battle in all communities regardless of race, income and status and that is gay marriage and equal rights. While we have the normal icons out showing their support 100% We also gained a few one notably being Charlize Theron who announced on ABC The View quote "...I have very close gay friends that really want to get married and can't and I wouldn't feel right getting married right now knowing that they can't. It's just not fair".

My question really is where are our African-American heterosexual female entertainers when we are fighting this war on equal rights and gay marriage. The question I should be asking is "Are we smart enough to really give a damn"? Since I personally do not go to New York City clubs anymore. I took this question to many social gatherings throughout the the city asking folks what does it mean to have Equal Rights? Many of the answers that I received were extremely blazay. I was even more disappointed when I saw that the attention from the conversation diverted to either sex or who the cute boy across the room was. When the Beyonce Knowles came up as Single Ladies was playing in the background, I asked "Do you think Beyonce loves her gay fans?" and one lovely queen, I'll never forget his/her answer "...of course she does honey we buy her albums, we support her, we live for her" I through to myself 'that's not what I asked you'. I tried again by asking the same question but in a more direct way "How come Beyonce hasn't spoken out about gay issues that affect our community, particularly black community?" and the answer I was given by quite a few were "Beyonce's job is to entertain me not educate me" I was actually blown away by this being that "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" is teaching MEN to put a ring on their WOMEN'S finger, not women put a ring on their women's finger or men put a ring on their men's finger. Need I need remind people that Gay Marriage is still not legal in all 50 states and "domestic partnership" comes with tons of compromises.

I am willing to give Beyonce the benefit of the doubt by saying possibly, just possibly, she is a product of being a Type A African-American female. Most African-American women have not so much gay friends but they have people that they know are gay and are cool with but won't necessarily hang out with them on any given weekend. I can give her the benefit of the doubt by saying maybe she doesn't feel comfortable talking about LGBT issues not only to her predominately African-American gay fan base but her gay fan base in general. Like her contemporaries such as Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson and Madonna, their gay fan base isn't a color however, it sure would feel nice if there was a female figure in the R&B community that would stick up for the gays.

I could also easily point to the fact that she is married to the ideal modern day über-masculine African-American male and though Jay-Z has in the past been very verbal with his use of the world fag in his lyrics, he has not verbally showed any deliberate hatred towards the LGBT community, unlike his contemporary Busta Rhymes. The incident I speak about is an incident a couple of years ago on Miami Beach where a crowd rushed Busta who's legal name is Trevor Tahiem Smith, Jr. to get his autograph. One member of that crowd was an visibly and openly gay male who praised Busta Rhymes work as an artist. Busta became very belligerent and attacked the man while uttering "Don't touch me you faggot". It doesn't make big news because well this is common and we accept it.

I guess the last argument in her defense I can give her is that, maybe she didn't ask to be a gay icon and maybe she doesn't want that title. If she doesn't does that mean she is obliged to give the gays back their money for the albums they bought and the concert that they went to? Please, where in who's fantasy world would that happen? While she may not have asked for the title of gay icon, she sure is doing everything in her power to milk it for everything it's worth and more.

The gays, particularly the men have given Beyonce great choreography. The gay community gave Beyonce a strong fan base that will potentially never go away. The gays have even fought on her behalf in the face of fans of other female contemporaries. I haven't seen that love being reciprocated and therefore, I am absolutely convinced that we as gay men are invisible to her.

In the light of Equality for the LGBT community, when it comes to Gay Marriage, when it comes to workplace discrimination very far and few in between men and women of color are taking the stand for us. It's one thing to have a gay icon who's gay speak up. In the media, it looks biased and damn near a given that a gay person will speak up for members of the LGBT community. However, a heterosexual either male or female speaking up well, that speaks absolute volumes. It's like a lions roar in a room full of nerds playing chess. It's loud, it's crystal clear and it shows people hey, I'm listening and I'm watching and I got their backs.

I am definitely not saying that her showing her absolutely vocal support for the LGBT community would change legislative and reverse laws regarding people like myself and my friends however, I don't think it's right that "we" support people that will use us and milk us for everything it's worth and not give a little back. Personally, even if she did a small commercial like she did for World Hunger, I think I could appreciate her a little more however, she's an icon that won't therefore she's what I call an "Icant".

In a time when Lady Gaga is participating in marches an protests in Washington D.C., in an time when Mariah Carey allows a gay man to open love his partner by proposing to him on her stage, Now is the time to be that African-American heterosexual female gay icon. Now is not the time to be an "Icant".

I want people to think about this in closing, when you are buying that next album, downloading that next single on itunes, when you are looking to dip into your savings account for the good seats at Madison Square Garden. Ask yourself, besides making you feel good, what has she done on behalf of you? What has she done on behalf of your lover? What has she done on behalf of your friend, colleague, associate that died due to complications of HIV/AIDS? What has she done on behalf of your right to live in The United States of America as a man, woman, transgendered male/transgendered female or bisexual male/female, to have the ability to be protected by law against brutality and discrimination. Think about this also when she is laying in bed naked with Shawn Carter while you can't legally be seen by the Justice of the Peace in your own city as a gay couple because it's illegal. Just think about it, Is she an icon or an "Icant"

10 Songs I Couldn't Stop Listening To 10 Years Ago

2009-10-18T04:07:00.003-04:00

1. Nothing Really Matters - Madonna
2. All That I Can Say - Mary J. Blige featuring Lauryn Hill
3. Smooth - Santana featuring Rob Thomas
4. No Scrubs - TLC
5. It's Not Right But It's Okay - Whitney Houston
6. You Know What's Up - Donnell Jones featuring Left Eye
7. I Hate You So Much - Kelis
8. Hot Spot - Foxy Brown
9. Let Me Let You Know - Pink
10. Heartbreaker - Mariah Carey featuring Jay Z

Indirect Feedback & Tweets

2009-10-15T23:43:00.004-04:00

My time on Twitter is spent communicating with individuals and characters all across the country. I like seeing what people have to say and where their views are. I got into blogging because I did not think that Twitter was always the appropriate place to express views. I decided to create my blogspot to really get my views out there and see what I can learn from other people. If you are a buddy of mine on Yahoo or AIM and if you follow me on Twitter and Blogspot, I look for feedback, even if it is about my punctuality. Most of the time, I am so busy trying to get my thoughts out that I am so happy to get it out of my head, I forget to proofread and that I hold my accountable for. When a person makes indirect comments towards me specifically on Twitter knowing that I follow them, one should expect me to be annoyed. If you are more than willing to talk provocative to me on my Twitter DMs or on Yahoo, instead of making shady comments why wouldn't you be able to address me like the grown person you are. The problem is not every single person is grown. There are still people who are in their mid 20's and even 30's that are still stuck in a high school way of dealing with people. I urge you that though my writing may not be that of a scholar but I do seek professional feedback all the time. It is my opinion that if you can talk naughty to me in private then you should be able to talk to me in a more formal manner as well. If there is a problem with that simply let me know, it is absolutely no shade at all.

Thank you.

The Bed I Made (Part III)

2009-10-11T23:37:00.010-04:00

It was a Saturday night, Robbie and I had just came in from a media industry party completely drunk. We came home on a limo that was rented by his company. The industry party was actually the afterparty to the Media Emmys that year. Robbie did not win any of the awards he was nominated for and I was a guest of another CNN political analyst. I got a chance to meet some of my favourite news reporters Larry King, Anderson Cooper both of CNN and a few others. I remember that day also meet T.J. Holmes and he gave me some great advice that night on how to stay alive in the news organization. Robbie and I had been seeing each other casually for several months now but something about this night we couldn't keep our hands off each other. We would catch feels as the night went on and find ways to escape the crowds to catch a quick kiss, its amazing we didn't get caught by one of our colleagues.

He wore Burberry Classic and I wore Armani Code. He wore a classic black tux, I wore a classic snow white tux outfit without a blazer but with a matching white vest just to be different and stand out. You would think we were coming in from our wedding day but we were just ecstatic to be in each others presence lusting in each others arms, kissing, hugging and touching. One by one peices of our clothing came off until there was just him and I left in our bare nakedness. Robbie picked me from the back of my thighs and my body easily just reciprocated by wrapping my legs around his waist, my arms wrapped around his shoulders and his lips kissing and stroking my neck. He carried me over to the bed where he began to make love to my body. My body wanted him, My body was thirsty for him. His body needed me. By this point, his clean cut 8.5 inch thick dick had already knew its around throw the grips of my tight ass. I laid at the edge of the bed with my legs spread eagle position to the side as he attempted to go in there was a bit of a fight. So he pulled and decided to taste me, lick me, eat me, wet me though as if I was his tasty desert, this bringing moans out of my mouth, tears out of my eyes and sweat from my pores. I always love when he does that, I would open my eyes every now and then and look down just to see his face buried directly under my balls, my dick laying perfectly erect and flat against my abs. He got up from pleasuring the lips of my ass to now fuck the lips of my ass. Anytime I'm getting fucked by him, I never remember the entry being painful at all but more pleasureful for my soul. My toes always curl and my body always tenses and all it takes is a gently kiss from him on my body to make me loosen up. I never enjoyed being the bottom but for him, it came all too easy and oh so natural. He wrapped my legs around his waist, scooped me up once again and sat the two of us at the edge of the bed, this time with me riding his lap. He knew this was one of my favourite positions. My lips kissed his as if his lips were a drink of a water. Our bodies were lubricated with sweat. He pressed his hands on my shoulders and I began to grab at the middle of his back. The intensity quickly built as he bit my neck to try not to scream. I couldn't take the pressure building up in my body which was too, all I remember was I shot streams of cum all over his stomach which in that same second he bust as well. He collapsed on the bed and I went down with him, heavily breathing and at a loss for words. For quite a few minutes neither one of us said anything and were too lazy to get up and clean ourselves off. We eventually got up and showered later that night.

The next morning, I woke up with my face on his bare chest. I had an idea of what love is, but the months that we were together I began to ask myself "Am I finally in love"? I fell back asleep on to Robbie's lifeless body feeling blessed that he doesn't snore. We were both awaken by a gasp and a heavy duffle bag being dropped and the heartbroken face of Lynette Michelle Saunders, Roberts on again off again girlfriend.

"Sir this is the last stop" The female conductor said
"Huh?"
"Last stop, World Trade Center, no passengers"
"Oh...I'm sorry thank you"
"Uh huh"

The female conductor was a friendly pale caucasian woman with fire red hair and freckles across her nose and cheeks.

"Baby you were in a zone!"
"You don't know the half of it" I replied
"Have a good one hun"
"You too"

Moments like those made me remember that yes indeed there are still good people left in all of New York City.

Later than afternoon, Darius met me in my Brooklyn Heights neighborhood for an early afternoon lunch and cocktails at one of our favourite places called One Front Street a few blocks away from my apartment. They have the best sangria ever. Darius was wearing a horizonatal black and white striped double breasted long cardigan and pair of skinny black jeans and black leather shoes that looks like he took a page out of British Mens Vogue. The minute I sat down, I received a text message from Robbie "Hey I'm so sorry about earlier. Lynette and I are getting a divorce and it hasn't been finalized. Please call me so I can explain better"

"Who was that? you look pissed and sounded pissed earlier" Darius said sipping on his red sangria
"That was Robbie" I said looking down
"Robbie from the other night, like knocking down walls Robbie?"
"He knocked your walls down, not mine boo"
"You had him first so technically he did knock your walls down...a few times"
"Don't do me bitch, keep in mind that he was mine first"
"It's not about who had him first gurr, it's about who made him bust last unless..."
"No Darius, we didn't have sex last night. We could've had sex this morning"
"But what happened?" Darius said.
"His ex wife shows up"

I looked away from Darius and out the window looking at the traffic going down into Cadman Plaza.
"Why did he get married to her?" Darius asked
"Because her catching us gave her leverage to force him into marrying her"
"Ewww but what woman would knowingly want a bisexual man"
"She doesn't want him at least not like she used to, she wants his earnings. He is the highest paid sportscaster in the industry. How much are you willing to bet that they don't even have a pre-nup. He told me he was going to break up with her that last night he messed, then she walked in and it was all over. She threatened to take down my career as well"
"Man that sucks. I wish there was something I can do Marlon"
"I wish there was something I can do"
"Well, you can start by cutting off Robbie again, he's no good for you right now"
"I know"

After Darius and I finished our full pitcher of sangria. I decided to run home to shower and change. I thought maybe it was time for a spa day for myself. I thought a facial, manicure, pedicure and a massage would really help me think about what I need to do next. I went to my building on Columbia in the Brooklyn Heights section to find something comfortable to wear and I figured since it was a nice day, I should keep it simple. Some nice basic dark denim jeans and a basic black button down and some Alexander McQuen puma sneakers. I figured if I'm going to get this pretty, I might something to get into later on in the evening.

I took the A train from High Street to Times Square where I walked a few blocks to the 44th street and Broadway intersection at the M spa. I ordered the "Face & Body" package. Like your typical high end spa, it was empty. In this economy, you don't even see your usual Stepford wife roll in. I began reading a People magazine while sitting in a comfortable plush chair made out of what I want to say is fur and a familiar female figure wearing all black and wearing Dolce & Gabbana shades, rocking a short hair do and peep toe Loubotins. It was Lynette.

"We have to stop running into each other like this" Lynette said
"I'm convinced you're following me" I said with an even face stare
"Oh don't flatter yourself"
"I don't need to flatter myself, that's already been taken care of"
"How dare you"
"How dare I what, Lynette? How dare I fall in love with a man that you were in love with who in return didn't love you who in fact used you as a media prop? How dare I begin seeing a man that fell for me and not fell for you because he was too busy digging into me? How dare I try to stand by the man that I love while he gets blackmailed by a woman that he totally dispises who doesn't even love herself enough to find a man that is properly suited for her but instead is so busy trying to have something that was never hers in the first place. Yes Lynette, how dare I."

An asian female esthetician dressed in all white came from the back to greet me
"Mister Fisher, your spa bed is ready" she said with a beautiful bright white smile.

The next day in the late afternoon in my usual work attire of a blazer, white button down, yellow Sean John tie and black slacks and black leather shoes, I went to G Lounge in Chelsea to have more than I can handle drinks and threw myself into a cab back to my apartment in Brooklyn Heights. I walk into the lobby of my building, I am startled by a familiar voice calling my name. It was Robbie. Robbie was wearing a thin black leather jacket, a plain white T shirt, dark denim jeans and some white nike uptowns.

"Hey" he said in a low voice

I turn around and press the button to the elevator to reach my top floor

"So you're not talking to me now"
"You have two options, we can either talk about this upstairs or we can talk about this never because I don't feel comfortable talking about this in the lobby"
"Ok I can handle that"

I have to admit, I was definetely giving Robbie attitude. I was just just annoyed by the idea of having to go through the same situation with Robbie and Lynette all over again, years later after the first time it happened. We barely said anything to each other the whole elevator ride up. Nothing was said when I turned the key to my door to walk into the apartment. We walked in and instead of walking to the living room, he sat on a stool that is situated at the bar next to the kitchen.

"You want anything to drink" I asked Robbie
"No thanks"
"So what do you want to talk about Robbie?"
"Well I'm going to get to the point Marlon. Lynette signed the divorce papers finally"

He pulled an envelope out of his jacket and rested it on the bar. I was quite suprised by this bit of news, given how hard Lynette worked to trap him and how much Robbie used her to cover up his own homosexuality.

"She said she won't blow my cover"
"And you believe her"
"She said after speaking with you and then speaking with Darius & Maurice"
"Wait...Darius and Maurice? what do they have to do with anything?"
"Wait, Darius didn't tell you?"
"I spoke to Darius yesterday for lunch and how does Maurice fit into this"
"Well I guess it's appropriate to tell you that Maurice is my nephew. I've let Maurice stay with me while he finds work in the states because he wants to move here from The Bahamas. Him and Lynette had something going on."
"How do you know this?"

I began to pour myself a glass of Moscato I had chilling at the bottom of the refrigerator.

"Maurice has a video of them on her phone" Robbie said "And not that I care but Maurice had been hiding this from me for quite some time. He was scared to say anything but was not aware of the circumstances on how Lynette and I got married. Him and Darius began talking to each other shortly after the foursome, I guess they're trying to see whats up with each other and Maurice told him about the video and Maurice threatened to upload the video on xtube and distribute it if she even thought about leaking any photographs of you and I"

"Wow" I said sipping on my drink
"Yeah wow"
"So what now?"
"I don't know homie, you tell me. You and me, is now in your hands"

Go Away Gold Digger

2009-10-11T00:00:00.004-04:00

We all know them, we all see them, We all hear them and some of us have friends that are them. I am talking about the infamous Gold Digger. Let's be clear on this, Gold Diggers can be either male or female. They are still either or problematic. They seek out the attention of someone who they think can make their lives a lot more comfortable. Gold Diggers look to gain a night out on the town at expensive restuarants, rides in fancy cars, expensive clothing and jewelry and it has very little do with your looks, trust me. When you don't spot a Gold Digger in time, you usually walk around feeling like you should be walking around with a dunce cap on.

I had a friend who drove a nice car, went to school and made great money as a medical professional but had an extremely hard time meeting nice guys and I have to give a great deal of credit, he constantly put himself out there, he refused to get knocked by New York City's dating scene but he did get his fair share of bad apples in the Big (sometimes rotten) apple. I gave him some good sound advice that he waited eons to take but it eventually found him a good solid boyfriend for a year and some change.

My advice to him was to leave the car home and take the train to the date. So arrogant and so pigheaded, he on many occassions refused to listen. I would always ask how did his dates go and he would reply that they were really nice and they had a great time. He rarely told me that he had a good time, which signals to me, the date sucked. Well, it couldn't suck that bad he got some good butt out of it each time and the term "good butt" is subjective these days (right?). Furthermore, I couldn't understand why he would pay for the date. I understand the notion of being a good date and being a gentleman but putting your all into something that only gave you two nights of your time isn't going to secure SQUAT! You have to level out the playing field otherwise you will continue to remain duped.

So he finally left the car in the garage and met a date via train, they decided to go someplace a little less chic but wasn't low budget and something developed from there. Something happened in that situation. What happened was he met someone that saw him for who he was first and not what he had. It was until later that my friends date learned that he had a car and had a pretty good job. I asked him how did he react to learned that he drove the kind of caar that he drove and he said he was very nonchalant about it.

A Gold Digger in the situations above would have requested a pricey place to eat and when seeing the car would have made comments about either the condition of the car or the type of car it is. One thing about Gold Diggers is that they make it known what they want and what they are after.

So hopefully you're following, leave the car at home if you live in a city with mass transit or park the car somewhere in the area and and act as if you took mass transit. Also you be the one to recommend where to eat, if can mid-range price but have a nice atmosphere. If they don't like the joint because it's not fancy enough. They'll let you know and thats the end of that date.

Summer time is the best time to scout out a gold diggin hoe. The weather is much nicer so it allows alot more outdoor fun and of course, everyone loves to wear less clothing. If you are concerned with not putting too much cash into the dating experience of someone who may be just in it for what you got. Do simpler things, first of all New York City has Central Park, Atlanta has Piedmont Park, Chicago has Grant Park, Miami has South Beach and so on. The point is do a picnic, it's romantic it's within a certain budget and you also get alone. Gold Diggers look at this as not "fancy" enough so they get bored and move on to the next sponsor. Also try walks in the park or along the riverfront during the sunset. A genuine person sees this as romantic, Gold Diggers look at this as a big waste of time.

Finally Winter time comes around and it's a bit cold outside. Offer to cook. There is nothing more cool than someone who is willing to whip up complemented by a sexy glass of red wine. It's again affordable yet it says "I'm interested".

Theres are just small tidbits that discourage gold diggin ass hoes from coming into your life and trying to fuck up shit.

I hope you enjoyed my blog and please comment, you know I love those.

Legally Superficially Gay?

2009-10-10T13:51:00.011-04:00

Is the recession an excuse used by people who don't have to use as their pity story or is the recession used as an excuse for some to look down on those down on their luck. Unfortunately, it's a little bit of both. Anyone with eyes and ears know that there is nothing more brutal than being a gay minority anywhere, well try being a single gay minority in a large city with 14% unemployment while the national average is only 9.8%. Any amount of persons looking for work that is subjected to unemployment is way too many people.

After I became unemployed several days after my birthday, I already knew what my plan was going to be and that was go back to school and sharpen my craft in the field. This move would eventually push me from making $25,000 to close to $47,000 and yes these are actual numbers. It's amazing what a little bit of education can do for a brother in this economy. Just because I had the luxury of going back to school and I had a decent sized savings account doesn't mean that I was "Scott Free". I had to learn how to be conservative with my money and make some lifestyle changes that would affect my relationships with other people. At one point I use to want to be a part of "The Joneses", however my grandmother at Age 74 with a fistful of wisdom told me "Never be concerned with the Joneses and don't allow yourself to want to be The Joneses" ya hear that NeNe Leakes? Her explanation was that "The Joneses" are some of the fakest people around and they wish you no good. "The Joneses" are the people that keep the pot stirring with a small spoon which essentially mean that they have nothing to bring flavour to the recipe but want to find their way there anyway.

As school came to a close, I noticed my savings account started getting lower and lower. I hid alot of this from my friends and family because I really did want to encourage people if they could go back to school however what I didn't want to do was scare anybody from going to school by having them see that I was kinda struggling. I remember everyone being so supportive of me getting my certification and it was first time back in school since 2002. What I didn't realize is that my financial downfall may lead to the subject of scrutiny.

Through a conversation I had on twitter with three employed men of color. There was a comment of "I am tired of people using the recession as an excuse" after a comment was made about wanting a man with a car, a house, a fat bank account. You sorta wonder with people continuing to lose their jobs and homes daily do you also want a golden parachute as well? For those people who have that, it is truly a blessing but not many people have that because they mismanaged their funds continuously as the "financial party" continued throughout most of Former President Bush 43 presidency. There was a comment also made that "The recession only affects bankers and people that were irresponsible with their money". This is also untrue. While I can't speak for the home owners who bought homes that they feel they were "tricked into believing they can afford the CNN coined term "McMansions", I can speak for the people that played by the rules and were conservative with their funds when they knew they couldn't play with the big boys that No one should pay for someone elses irresponsibility. The financial meltdown that occurred nearly 8 weeks before we elected President Barack Obama spiraled into all industries as government, media and medical jobs continued to grow.

I began to dive deeper and find out what does this mean for an average guy who though may not have the car, the fancy house and the fat bank account. Does this make it right for people do have stability to discriminate against me? While I say that it does happen because I do know writing about this, I will definetely be the subject of scrutiny by "shady queens" who revel in other peoples misfortunes. I think it spotlights the superficial behaviour that has always underlined the gay community, particularly the minority community.

We have become a culture that instead of saving which we have been famously known for and been the envy of other communities, we have become big spenders like our heterosexual counterparts. Everyone want to pop bottles, drive fancy cars and live in apartments however living in apartment that don't even at least Baking Soda in the fridge. That has become the New York City gay way of living. Everything is a show.

With that being said What about whats going on inside of a persons mind as opposed to what is going on inside of a persons wallet? A person who is looking for what a person has is no different that than the Gold Digger that scouts out rich or well off men and women to help make themselves feel a bit more stable. Those two individuals whether employed or not employed are both reaching for the same goals, it's how they get there that makes the difference.

I made this point and I stand by this point, that anyone who is currently employed need to count their blessing because anyone is vulnerable and subject to being extremely humbled by not being able to find work and maintain a particular lifestyle. As I've learned throughout this year, friends see money friends stay but if friends see money go, they go and they go in the other direction, nowhere to be found when you really need them. In saying this I was not looking for pity by anyone because I know the meaning of earning a dollar instead of making a dollar, there is a difference. I also didn't want anyone to give me a hand out because I don't take hand outs. My grandmother worked all the way into her 60's to provide a better retirement account for herself and every day that she could get up and put her feet on the ground and take the A train from her Broadway Junction train station to Far Rockaway and then take the Q22 bus out to Laurelton, Long Island to a job that she worked 6 days a week taught me the meaning of hard work. However, the opportunist and the person that is a little down on their luck are not the same two people.

I understand the point of being weary of superficial men and even women out there that is more concerned with your pockets more so than getting to know who you are and possibly building something that is true and genuine however, fighting fire with fire by becoming that same person just with a better job doesn't quite keep those people away from you either, it makes them superficial but it lowers you by making you look shallow, another stereotype that plagues our community. It's a round and round circle that keeps us from getting to know each other becuase you have a part of the population that has their guard up now and a part of the population seeking friendship, love or afection for right reasons that are getting shafter because of that small part of the population that are up to absolutely no good.

I do know that the job that I will be starting in the next few days, I will be making good money and eventually I will want to get back into the dating scene, not so much the gay party scene because nothing good comes out of that. However, the thought of being looked at based on my income and not on my personality, not on what I can bring to the relationship kinda worries me slightly because I never minded treating, as a matter of fact, I felt myself to be a bit too generous when it came to treating and tipping the waiter (unless they sucked). I want to be looked at for the person that can make you laugh, make you feel good and make you special minus the pricetag on my forehead. I hope this is not what our community becomes in the long run. There are too many very good, quality, attractive men out there for us to simplify ourselves by categorizing incomes.

I do intend on furthering this discussion by showing ways of being able to spot a gold digger who doesn't have much from a genuine person.

In conclusion, I got word Wednesday that I start work on October 23, 2009 and I will be station in Valley Stream, Long Island which is a bit far however there are certain sacrifices a brother is going to have to make in order to be and also remain employed.

I hope you enjoyed my blog and please comment, I like it when people do that *smile*

Social Cleansing

2009-10-10T12:11:00.006-04:00

As much as we make fun of Tyler Perry's Madea role. Madea has on many occassions recited a quote that I used to hear my maternal grandmother say all the time, "Some people come into your life for a lifetime and some for a season". In the new era of Facebook, Twitter and Myspace and even some iPhone applications like Loopt and Blackberry applications like Ping, we are allowed to hold on to people and hold on to things that can potentially hold us back from meeting new and exciting people and experience adventurous things. I will say even though we are able to keep track of all of our "friends", we have not found a great way to keep track of 1) our friends birthdays 2) our friends favourite things 3) Important dates like anniversaries.

Friendship though some are long lasting and others aren't so much, I notice come in rotations in most peoples lives, depending on how social you are. It normally happens at the beginning of each summer and you now have a "cut-up buddy" That person that you hit the streets with, meet their friends and they meet yours and you instantly clique. For girls, you wear each others clothing or borrow each others jewelry. For the guys, we'll get each others tabs or go dutch on certain things likes car rentals and such. Then all of the sudden August and September comes around and things begin to thaw out. You all of the sudden don't hear from that person as frequently. The seasons change and who you hang out with also change. If the frienship you had with that person was something impacted your life, you may feel a bit strong about how come the two of you do not hang out as much. Then comes November and December before Christmas (not implying anything) and you hear from them very little unless you bump into them in the street somewhere. In any essence, that was an associate as my grandmother would say. In my grandmothers days she would have ripped out that persons number out of her phonebook and threw it in the garbage. My grandmother is 74, she has a cellphone but keeps a phonebook. The people that are in her cellphone are her neighbours, the fire department, the precint, Wayside Baptist Church members and her family. When odd numbers pop up, it goes to voicemail.

I have gone through several of what I call God's "social cleansing" out of my life. If they weren't meant to be there for long they would show it in their own actions. By not attempting to reach out. Because we have applications such as Facebook, Twitter, Ping, Loopt, Yahoo Messenger, Google Talk, AIM and so on. Two-way street reaching out has become much easier. If they log on and haven't spoken, let it slide. If you speak to them first and the answers are short are non responsive, then maybe you should re-evaluate what that person is there for. Maybe that person is only good for a good laugh or a kiki when you see them at the bar or the club. There is nothing wrong with that. But in terms of someone to confide in when things are tough and you need someone to talk to, you might want to dig a little deeper. Talk to your family if you can, talk to people that have been with you through thick and thin but also talk to Jesus. If you just give Jesus a little bit of time throughout the day even if it's just to say Thank you Lord, he will see the wrong and he will do what he needs to do to fix it. Jesus can be your best friend when nobody will pick up the phone. He can be your best friend when you don't have a phone to pick up, his spiritual line is always open and I am a true witness to that.

There are different types of social cleansing you can do on your own and there are certain cleansing mechanisms that God does to help you out just a little. Here are some things you can do to kindly and politely make your phonebook and friends list a bit lighter. Start sorting out what you use social networks for and if you have people that don't really speak alot you may want to delete them, reason being quite frankly because they may be there just to be nosy and see what you're doing and what pictures you are uploading. In terms of your phone look through your phone and ask yourself when's the last time you spoke to this person and that person, If you have think a bit too hard then press Delete and keep moving. This is not a blog to be shady about this situation, you have to know when it's time to lighten your load and do right by you because if you don't and God has a plan for you and you do not adhere to that plan, he will put you in a predicament where you have no other choice but to accept them out of your lives, like isolating you from being where they will be or even personally taking a hand in life itself and removing them so you can get to where you need to be. There is no reason why you are doing right and your "friend" isn't and you choose to be their friend anyway meanwhile you are holding yourself back, absolutely not that is not what your life should be about. You need to recognize the game before the game recognizes you and wipes you out.

Being the social person that I am, I have accepted this rotation that people come into my life however not every person that smiles in your face wishes you well and not every single person is meant to be around next year. Friends are like fashion sometimes "One minute you're in, the next minute you're out" and what may look good this year should not be worn next year. It happens, so what you need to concentrate on are those timeless peices that you wouldn't trade for the world.

God Bless and I hope you enjoyed my blog, Please leave comments :) I like those.

Don't Be Scared of The Uncut Dick (Throw Lips To It...Handle It)

2009-10-09T20:42:00.002-04:00

It's so funny when you have a penis and you accept yours for what it is and accept how it look. American culture at one point made it absolutely imperative that men get circumsized or what we slang term call "cut". Today, it's now an option and many parents are even choosing not to have their sons circumsized because of small studies shown that in fact that infant does feel pain, again I repeat, small studies.

It used to be only men of either underdeveloped countries or of Carribean or Latin-American backgrounds were uncut but now we are finding alot more American men of all different backgrounds that are not circumsized and therefore comes the question of. What do I do when I come across an uncut penis? Well first don't scream, point, cry or run. That's just ignorant, funny but ignorant. However, don't freak out. Yes he has a bit of extra skin, that skin thats protecting the head of his penis in fact is making the head of his penis sensitive. You may have seen some porn videos where the head is in fact pink or a bright red. I'm not sure if that indicates how sensitive the penis is but don't worry you didn't do anything to do it or injure it, it's indeed natural.

If you aren't afraid here is some quick, simple easy how to tricks to make his toes really curl and make the Head Bitch In Charge, literally It's simple.

1. Tuck your lips around the head of the penis STOP
2. With the suction of the back of your throat pull the foreskin forward STOP
3. Use that same suction to pull the foreskin back down STOP
4. Use your tongue and circle the head Repeat

(In the event you bring the head back up, here's what they don't expect)

5. While the foreskin is covering the head, Use your tongue and circle around the head. While doing this you are pleasure the inner foreskin and the head of the penis.
6. When all fails deepthoat BITCH! (WERK!)
7. Focus on the head, thats the major sensitive point for 9/10 uncut guys.

That's all folks. I hope this was useful.

The Bed I Made (Part II of III)

2009-10-09T14:38:00.001-04:00

I felt a bit blazay after the foursome that occurred between Darius, Maurice, Robbie and myself. I find myself in these situations all the time. I really want to have someone to myself. Someone that I don't have to sneak behind peoples backs, lie or deceive. I want someone that is not attached or burned from a previous. Someone who is ready for me. Until I find that person, there is always this single life of mine. I sat on the balcony of my Brooklyn Heights building overlooking the lower Manhattan skyline in nothing but my plush white bathrobe that Darius bought me years ago as a housewarming present sipping on red wine from Portugal. I heard my iphone on the coffee table in my living vibrating next to my blackberry which I had been ignoring all day. I decided to get up and look at the phone. It was Robbie leaving me a voicemail on my iPhone. I was excited because Robbie though not my first experience was the first guy I fell in love with and the first guy to make me feel like I was everything. I just wish things between us were, well different.

I dialed Robbie back to find out what he was doing. I received a ring back at first of "Does He Do It" by Trey Songz. I heard the usual commotion that is normal with media, he sounded really busy. "Hey babe, whats good I'm really busy so I'm about to make this quick. Do you want to come over tonight. Just me and you and some TV, red wine?" I replied with a slight giggle "Since when did I become babe?", "You became babe when I realized I couldn't stop thinking about you so stop being a prude and get sexy butt over here to my place" he said with that Robbie boom of confidence. "Ok, Robbie what time?" I asked sighing "Be there by 9, I know you're favourite show comes on so I want to have you settled and comfortable, cool?" "Ok Robbie, I'll be there" "Good, see u tonight" and he hung up.

I was dressed pretty smart for a date that I was going on with someone so familiar. I had a nice dark blue denim pair of jeans, a button up v neck grey sweater and a checkered button down with a black blazer and black martini glass print Stubbs & Wooten loafers. I was looking really nerdy but I remember when Robbie and I dated years ago, he used to make fun of me for dressing like a preppy yuppie but he also liked it because I was so comfortable in myself.

I walked through the lobby and took the elevator to his floor again. I knocked on his door and he opened the door quickly "Come on in" he said. with two glasses in his hand. I noticed a there was a bottle of wine sitting on the coffee table and he had my favourite show Family Guy playing. "Wine and Family Guy huh" I said with a smile to my face that went ear from ear, I took my black blazer off and put it on an adjacent loveseat and sat on the couch in front of the TV. It was an all new episode so I was extremely attentive, Robbie sat next to me and pour a glass halfway of red wine for me and place it in my hand. "I like hearing you laugh" he said. I looked at him with a warm smile. He know hows to talk a decent talk but I already knew that's just how he does.

I fell asleep on the couch in his arms and was awaken by a wet kiss on my forehead. It kinda made me smile. "Get up" he whispered. "I'm tired, can I just lay here"? "Ok" he whispered back. I was suprised by Robbie behaving himself, as badly as I wanted to have sex with him again, I really wanted to see where his mind was. Did he want me to come over for sex or did he want me to come over because he likes having me around? I'm starting to believe maybe he does like my company.

The next morning around 9am, I hear keys jingling in the front door and I was extremely started because it was a sound that I am not used to hearing. I first see a pair of very slender legs and a pair of size 9 Christian Loubotins. In my disgust and dismay it is the one person that I had never expected to see in my life again. Robbie's ex-wife Lynette Michelle. If Angela Bassett could have a bitter younger sister from Waiting To Exhale era this would be her, 5'6 with jet black hair going down her back, dark skinned like a jungle baby, dark brown piercing eyes and always wore black and never let red lipstick go out of style. The sight of this woman always bothered me. I've never been the type of person to blame anybody for anything in my life but I blame her taking my man away from me, I blamed her for the reason Robbie and I stopped talking and her presence made me realize why I stopped associating with Robbie in the first place.

"Well" Lynette said with a sarcastic sighed suprised "I see some things just don't change, it appears I walk in on you again except this time you have clothing on"

She walked through the apartment almost sashaying and caresses the adjacent love couch. "Two wine glasses?"

"ROBERT!" I yelled
"Oh god" she paused "you sound like me when I'm mad at him, kinda like when I was married to him"
"That's right you were married to Robert, what happened to that?"
"You happened"
"I happened before you happened to come along"
"I have things that you don't have"
"I have things that he doesn't want from YOU!" I said holding back every bit of anger

Robert walked out his bedroom with just his plain white boxers on showcasing a sexy bare shaven body.

"Lynette, you don't live here anymore if you are going to come, you need to call"
"Change you locks, I came here to get the rest of my things" She coldly responded
"Then call, I'll gladly send them to you"
"I'm leaving" I said
"No let me drive you home"
"I'm good...I'm good, I can take a cab, clearly you two have things to discuss"

I looked around for my blazer and made sure my cell phones were in there and looked back at Lynette and Robert in pure disgust at what I was seeing and walked out. As I pressed the button for the elevator, I could hear Robert and Lynette arguing. I don't see what they are arguing for. There is no children involved, no alimony involved. Clearly, they had to have had something going on between the time they divorced and now to still be in contact with each other. The elevator arrives and I knew that I had a long trip back to my Brooklyn Heights apartment to sort out what I wanted to do.

I reached the bottom floor and I picked up my iPhone and looked for Darius' number. Knowing that he was still in practice, it went straight to voicemail. "Darius, this is Marlon bitch, lunch at 2 I need an ear"

Shakira - She Wolf album review 4/5 stars

2009-10-09T11:42:00.006-04:00

01. She Wolf 03:10
02. Did It Again 03:13
03. Long Time 02:56
04. Why Wait 03:43
05. Good Stuff 03:17
07. Men In This Town 03:35
07. Gypsy 03:18
08. Spy (feat. Wyclef Jean) 03:27
09. Mon Amour 04:06
10. Lo Hecho Está Hecho 03:13
11. Años Luz 03:42
12. Loba 03:09

The album starts with the late 70's brovado of the title track "She Wolf". The first thing I thought was afros and shorts that recall Chrissy in Three's Company. The beat produced by The Neptunes is very bouncy and catchy. What I loved is that her english has dramatically improved since her last English language debut. If you remember she took time off to do several spanish language albums and singles.

The second track is my favorite "Did It Again", it combines Shakira's rock style with The Neptunes cartoony beats and the hook will indeed put a smile on your face. I couldn't hear any of our popular artists singing this track with the exception of Lady Gaga. This track though a very basic pop track has alot of character and personality. The third track I have to say when I first heard it the first few times, I was slightly annoyed by what I call the pop version of reggae or as I call "pseudo-reggae" but I'll let it slide because Shakira as part Carribean influences in her native Colombia. This is track for the girls with hips.

"Why Wait" is a bit darker for The Neptunes style of producing, this track pays tribute to Shakira's Middle Eastern background. This actually should be the next single but I'm just predicting. This is definetely a song that even the hardcore boys shouldn't be ashamed to rock in their jeeps. This is the song Pussycat Dolls should be mad that didn't make their album.

So far, so good Neptunes!

The next track "Good Stuff" sounds a bit like "Hip's Don't Lie" version 2.0, you guessed it this was one of the tracks produced by Wyclef...ohhhh Wyclef originality much? It's still a good track, just a bit too familiar to one of her more recognizable English language hits.

Another one of my favourite tracks on this album "Men In This Town" mainly because of its lyrics. It's the albums most contemporary track in terms of sound. If you are over the faux 80's/90's pop sound. Then you can skip this track. "Gypsy" goes into a more country style of music which will take your ears by surprise after all this pop and disco. It's very interesting and unexpected because of it's major layerings throughout the track.

"Spy" another track that features Wyclef but is produced by The Neptunes sounds like it sampled "I Wonder Why He's The Greatest". I find that this album borrows heavily from the late 70s era which oddly suits Shakira. Wyclef shows off a much softer vocal performance alongside Shakira.

"Mon Amour" is the stand alone rock track and it does not dissapoint. It's the first time I truly got to hear Shakira in her rock element since her first few spanish language albums and when she is is on, she is on fire.

In conclusion, this is a brave endeavour for Shakira to tackle pure pop like she's never tackled it and it took alot of nerve for her to do venture here. I hope she collaborates with Pharrell Williams & Chad Hugo further as her career continues maybe not so much with Wyclef. It's like Mariah and Janet with Jermaine Dupri, it's a dead horse thats been beat a bit too much. With this album she shows us why in Latin America, she is considered La Beyonce without being an imitation, she is THAT BITCH. What do you expect from a chick name Shakira (pronounced in spanish Shak - aye -rra) if you didn't know but for us American folks it's just Shakira.

Damn I Wanna Be Your Lover

2009-10-07T20:16:00.003-04:00

http://evilshare.com/coqraqi321ja/04_Damn_I_Wanna_Be_Your_Lover.mp3.html

I listen to this anytime I need to get in touch with my romantic side when I feel I have lost it. The lyrics and fuckin powerful. The song features Terry Ellis and Dawn Robinson on co-leads and Cindy and Max on background vocals which is rare to have just have two of them on background vocals but it worked real well and the writing is awesome. I needed to hear this a few times while writing Part II of my scandolous blog entry.

The Bed I Made...(Part I of III):

2009-10-05T06:35:00.009-04:00

My name is Marlon Fisher and this is my story. I'm 27 from Miami, FL but now live in the Brooklyn Heights section of Brooklyn, NY. I live in a very clean, Cosby Show type setting. I like my neighborhood and I better for the amount of rent that I pay. I work really hard at what I do and maybe you've seen me on TV. That's right CNN, I'm that guy that you think he is but not quite sure. I will never tell and Marlon is not my name. My friends call me "Fish" not because I'm the gayest but because I can drink any man into the ground no questions asked. As long as my work gets done right? My best friend is Darius Caprice a very 5'10 beautiful full lips, lashes like a giraffe, eyes like a baby doll, very lean and very glossy dancer here in New York who loves a good time and a lot of trouble. I'm not going to count the many times I've had to bail his ass out. We are both lightning rods of fun with a high amount of voltage.

(4AM outside of Langstons in Brooklyn, NY)

Langstons is a hole in the wall yet somewhat spacious reggae club that Maurice likes to drag Darius and I to every Saturday, I had a good time and drinks are actually pretty reasonable. "Bkken" is really making a killing on the gays in this city. I'm waiting outside of the club to my left was Darius talking to some of his kiki girlfriends and all I can hear coming from inside Langstons is a popular reggae song "Bend Ova, Bend Ova" and then I hear "Aye Brown Skin you been avoiding me..." I thought to myself dammit Robert Stinger is the only person that calls me freakin Brown Skin. Robert is your class A successful balla, him and I know each other because he works in media as well. You may know him too, you've seen him on TV as a sports announcer for ESPN. I won't go into how we know each other but anything that involves him is good trouble and bad trouble. His 6'3 light skin gorgeous brown eyes with just neatly curly yet soft hair, a wide teeth smile and plainly muscular build makes him and ideal fuckbuddy of sorts, I should know I had it and it was good. It...was good.

"What do you want Robert?" I pierced over at him giving me the what I do face. Nice try Robert. "A brotha can't say hello without being up to something?" he gestured the you're breaking my heart motions. "When your name is Robert from Atlanta by way of Jamaica that mean you're always up to something". Darius came over and rushed into Roberts arms and started molesting his back with his hands. My worst nightmare came true. Robert was going to fuck one of my best friends and I can look like the cock-blocking friend or I can let them have their fun. I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I joined them, maybe they won't do anything. I am holding out that small bit of hope that Darius will be too drunk to do anything with Robbie. "So what you doing after this?" Robert asked with you wanna party with us look in his face when he always want to have a good time. "Nothing and Everything" I said. "So what you mean by this that, Marlon come on, it's me" "Nothing alone and everything that I am" I said with that you will not out-do me look. "Whats your plans Robbie" "Well I was thinking I can take you and baby boy right here back to my place for drinks" "Uh huh" I looked at Darius and he was clearly inebriated he didn't know what was going on except he knew he was horny and ready to go. "Well Robbie, wheres your car because this party isn't open all night" Luckily his car was parked right in front of the club. Darius and I sat in the backseat of his black tinted windows SUV and Darius in good ole Darius fashion laid on my lap. There was a passenger in the front seat rolling a blunt with dark shades on, neatly twisted locs that he looked like he had been growing for about a few years, beautiful brown skin and the sexiest lips I have ever gotten to seen that looks like he can suck a quarter out of a parking meter now imagine what he can do to a freshly puckered pink hole. Am I giving too much. I'm just getting started. I found my treat for the evening, FUCK Robert.

Robert jumped in the car, put the keys in and we were rolling. We drove up Atlantic Avenue which has to be one of the most depressing large streets in all of Brooklyn. We swiftly approached the White Castle in Clinton Hill as Robert asked did anybody want anything and with the most serious of answers that can ever come out of both Darius and myself "NO!" Gays, you know what White Castle does and if you're trying to have a good time, White Castle won't help you get there. I'm just saying. The tall drink of water in the passenger seat still hadn't said anything so I gave Robbie the look that said 'Is he gonna speak?' through his mirror. "Yo Maurice that's my boy Marlon and laying on his lap is Darius" "What up" Maurice had a very distinct West Indian accent and I looked on his left wrist and he had a Bahamian chain on it. "Sup" I said "Hey" in Darius half wasted slur said.

We made the right turn on Flatbush Avenue extension to head towards the Manhattan Bridge and Darius decided to get the party started early. He unzips my zipper with his teeth and inhaled my half erect chocolate rod in his mouth and began to hoover dam it. I was shocked because it happened in a nanosecond, this caused a slight swirve of the SUV and an immediate "Yo...son" response from Maurice. "Keep your eyes on the road Robbie, I'm not gonna die with my dick in his throat" "Well dont start the party with me" Maurice said looking back "Don't worry boo, I got you" I said looking dead at his dark shades in my best game face "Is that right?" he said with his game face on "I don't like to be challenged, I hope you know that" "And why is that" "Because I'd hate to make such a nice looking man like you cry" I said with a devious smirk. "Ohhhhhh" Maurice and Robert said laughing "Oh you talk alot of shit playa" Maurice said. "Save some for the host of this party" I said to Darius. I will say his head game is always on point alive or half dead. He only did that to show out because he was too drunk to he his normal perky self so doing what he knows how to do best he put on a show. I took my finger out from the sweaty back of Darius fitted jeans to readjust myself when Robbie reached back, grabbed my hand and licked the finger that was kindly molesting Darius sweaty crack right. "Damn" Robbie softly "mmm mmm mmm" "Like that homie?" Maurice looked over to Robbie and said. Robbie replied "Like that" with a nod

Robbie had just bought a new place in Jersey City in the newly rejuvenated Grove Street section. It took us quite a while to get over there by car but it was worth it. The area has definetely been on the come up and is absolutely beautiful to see at that time of night. His condo was like something you see in MTV Cribs. I've worked really hard to get to where I'm at but to give Robert credit he's worked longer, harder and stronger to get to where he's at and to think, I passed all of this up. The minute we get into this million wet dream of real estate, the party got started. Maurice got behind and started kissing me neck and Darius hopped into Roberts arms, with his legs tightly wrapped around his waist. Anyone who knows Darius' thighs and anything in between, knows that he can balance himself with no hands. It took no more than one minute before all four of us were naked. Robbie quickly carried Darius into the bedroom and began attacking that ass. I got to the foot of Robbie's King sized bed and Maurice threw me down face and began to eat me like there was birthday cake back there. I wish I could Darius was putting on a show but I've had a piece of Robbie Stinger and he does feel good from head to balls and from head to toe. This Maurice person however was getting it in back there, what the hell is he trying to do create a splash waterfalls back there? Maurice finally got up to get a his condoms out his back pocket, I went to my jacket to get my red Kodak digital camera. Shawty get it in, Daddy goes hard and I want Daddy to put on a show for shawty.

I come back to the room and Darius and now on his back with his legs to the ceilings and his toes in good ole fashion curl mode and Robbie giving a long stroke. I wasn't looking to record them though it was tempting. I got on my back and show Maurice how easy this was going to be and flexible I can get. I was so wet from getting my booty ate by this Bahamian dread I didn't know what to do except take it like the freak that I am. I hit the record button to film Maurice and I get it in, I have to say this was no easy task. He was easily packing a 9 thick, cut and heavy. This was a challenge I could've passed on but in it to win it. Maurice took my camera so I can lay back and relax and filmed from his angle and the shockwaves through my body began to grab for the first thing I can find. Sheets, lamp cords, pillows, the headboard anything that I can grab to distract me from the amount and force he was hitting me with. I knew what I was getting myself into and this serves me right it's been a long time since I last took dick and the last person to do me was in fact Robbie. I needed to be this to be over and over quick because though Maurice was good and the dick was decent. I really wanted him to get his nutt already, my mind was still on Robbie. Shit, I still want Robbie and he is fucking my best friend only inches away from me. I had my bright idea moment, I don't normally do this for jump offs but I was going to go for it. I stopped Maurice to change positions, this time have laying flat on his back and have me ride him backwards. Sometimes when you get bored you gotta get creative and this change of position made me the dick fun. He was trying to give me a run for my money by trying to fuck me harder but little did he know all he was doing was making it wetter. Now this is a party! I couldn't care less what Robbie and Darius were doing or how Maurice and I looked on camera but I know one thing Maurice found that special spot that every gay man knows and love and he fucks around and I catch this nutt it's a wrap and dammit wouldn't you know he got struck jackpot and I couldn't hide it. Ripple affects went through my body and I began to lose control of my own motions at this point my body was doing whatever it needed to do to release. Maurice got up and embraced me and started biting me on my neck. I think he got his too but did I care? Not really. Good stroke game though. I gently rose up off Maurice and walked to Robbie's private bathroom to go clean up, I can hear Darius and Robbie beginning to slow down which makes me believe that they finished too. There was not a dry spot on my body and I was in a desperate need of a shower. The minute the water rolled down my back, I started feeling sharp stinging pains down my ass I knew this was going to be a long couple of days of recovery but shit I needed this, every man has needs, I got mine, he got his we're both single, we're all single. I dried off using one of Robbie's clean towels in a closet in the bathroom, everything was so nicely color coordinated and neatly folded. I left the bathroom in all my nakedness to find Darius giving Maurice and Robbie head on the bed. All I can think was either Darius booty game was weak or Robbie isn't the strapping young man that I thought he was. I decided I had enough of the part and decided to get my clothing from the living room and at least put on my tee shirt and fresh white Banana Republic boxers and fix myself a drink. Robbie surely wouldn't mind and after all that I was thirsty as hell. I laid down on his plush sofa and I couldn't remember anything after that.

10am came and I was up bright as a light the sun beaming over Jersey City and Manhattan pierced though Robbie's apartment forcing me up followed by the obvious sounds of a shower. I dragged myself off of the sofa and heard my phone beeping which mean I either missed a call or have a text message, I checked and it was a text message from Robbie saying "your boy can take some dick but don't do it like you". I stumbled over to the bedroom and saw Maurice spooned up behind Darius. I went to the massive windows in Robbie's apartment and welcome the view of the early Sunday morning city. The shower finally stopped and Robbie comes out the bathroom and out the bedroom naked and still a little damp from his shower and walks over to me and stands directly behind me with this dick pressed firmly against my butt. I leaned back and whisper in his ear "Been There Done That". He kindly laughed and kissed me on my neck and he whispered in my ear "We got unfinished business shawty". I like a challenge and I will not be outdone. "So what you wanna do?" He crouched down in a squat position, spread my cheeks and began to caress my already tender hole. This sensitivity made me slightly crazy but I tried to keep it on the low but Robbie knows my body like I know his and he knew I wasn't up for another round after last night with Maurice. "Next time it's just you and me"

Later that morning, Darius and Maurice showered together and got dressed. I fell asleep on the couch again with my iphone in my hand in normal fashion and woke up to nudging from Darius. I took it was finally ready to go. Maurice was still looking half sleep and Robbie was moving with more pep in his step that usual. He opened the door for all three of us and locked the door. We took the elevator down from his 23rd floor apartment down to the garage to get back in the SUV. I wasn't sure how this was going to go was Robbie going to take us to the PATH trains and tell us to foot it from there or was he going to drive us into the city. I began to roll through emails and text messages and I got another one from Robbie saying "We got unfinished business...come through Wednesday". I replied "ok". Hey, I'm not a slut. I just like getting it in where I can get it when I can get it if I can fit it.

All Is Fair in Love and Money

2009-10-04T06:39:00.010-04:00

"It's Funny How Money Changes A Situation"-Lauryn Hill, Lost Ones,1998

It is funny isn't it? It's funny how it takes coming into a whole lot of money for a person who started out with very little to finally start landing the bad ass chick, the pretty chicks. It's funny how fame, money and a good stylist makes people change how they see you on a scale of 1 to 10. Us as people can be so fake and so lame all at the same time. I can respect any chick or any dude that will say "I don't care how much money you throw at me, I'm still not fucking you". Apparently Lil Wayne, The-Dream or Kanye West have not a damn thing to worry about. As we saw, look where it got Jay-Z. I can agree, the majority of you that are reading this or people that I have interacted with will say "Looks don't matter" or "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". I think that is a fair and noble thing to say to keep from looking like the worlds biggest jerk. When in reality you are saying in the back of your head is "If I have to put a paper bag over your head to deal with you in bed, then whats the point?". Comedian/Actress S'more had one funny skit back in the 90s "...You know you're an ugly bitch when dudes refuse to fuck you missionary style so you might as well get on in that doggystyle" That was one of my favourite early skits by her.

I guess I am question how is it that Jay-Z ended up with Beyonce. By the time Jay-Z and Beyonce began dating, Jay-Z was still on the come up, Beyonce upgraded him by being sexy, in-shape and successful. That didn't quite make him sexier, It was when people started seeing he was actually making some serious money that people men and women started riding his plank. I respect Beyonce Knowles because she got with a man that she believed in, saw his potential and stuck with him throughout the changes in his career and they are still together six years later. Can you believe it's been six years since we first saw them together? That is where I can say, their relationship is genuine, no matter how you may feel about them together or what you think of his looks vs. her looks, that is genuine and it's an actual model relationship. Step 1: Look for someone in whom you have something in common with Step 2: Realize each others potentials and come up with a plan on how you can help each other achieve your goals Step 3: Enjoy the ride

Now when it comes down to people like let's say, Lil Wayne. I have spoken to a great deal of my female colleagues and they will try to explain to me up and down with a straight face that they find Lil Wayne attractive. If you are sitting at your computer screen or mobile device with a blank stare, trust me you arent the only one, I promise. The words many of them described him as was "cute" and he got "swagga". Ain't that much swagga in the world. So now to reference S'more, do you let him hit doggy-style because you can't stand to look at HIS face? Ladies, you gotta help me out here because I'm not quite comprehending what you find to be attractive, sexy or cute. By the way, if you consider your boyfriend a "cutie" he's automatically suspect or too young. No grown ass man that you get involved with should be "cute" like dogs are cute, cats are cute and little doll babies in pink dresses are cute. Your men should be strong, independent, indeed sexy and bring something to the table more than just money like a strong sense of values, respect, maturity and a sense of direction. Where does Lil' Wayne fit into this? These rather lovely examples of black beauty Toya, Lauren London & Nivea. These aren't your run of the mill chicken heads from the hood. What really suprised me was how badly Wayne treated Toya. Then he decides to get Lauren London and Nivea knocked up at the same time. I'm not quite following but if you ladies insist. I will say that I looked high and low and I couldn't find any pictures of Lil Wayne with any of the females out in public and you know how I feel about that "A man that doesn't want to be seen with you definetely doesn't want to be seen with you"

Next, I look at Christina Milian. Oh, Christina, as I bow my head into the palm of my right hand. You are indeed getting married to man that has three children by another woman. You are indeed a very pretty young lady, you have created quite a market for yourself as a teeny-bopper type actress in the "Bring It On" series, sorry that you missed out on Nick Cannon whom is now married to one of the widely recognized women in the past 20 years of music. You end up with someone like The-Dream whom we can all agree needs to push back from the table. As a woman of your calibur, don't you think the fact that he has 4 children from other baby mamas raise a red flag to say "Maybe I should think about this first" but you're already expecting so there's not much to think about right? As I look at this situation I have to ask myself if he was "The-Dream" and just Tarius Nash, would bangin ass Christina Milian even give him a second look?

I don't know about anyone reading this but I so could've seen Christina Milian with a football player or a basketball player. She just gives you that vibe since dating people in the music industry hasn't quite worked out for her. However, ching-ching she got married to the new VP of Island/Def Jam who is worth quite a huge chunk of money, no pre-nup was involved and there is a child on the way. I absolutely smell disaster in two years with no one to gain but Christina. I smell a divorce, I smell a cash settlement and I smell a hit record or two maybe an album because of course, The-Dream is not going to give wifey shitty beats or songs now is he?

Lastly someone explain this Kanye West-Amber Rose deal. Amber Rose is one stunning BBB, bad-ass bald bitch. Her physique is impressive and her body parts are soft, juicy and luscious and (PAUSE) she is dating Kanye "I'm very happy for you, I'm a let you finish but" West. Just as equally as many of you said nobody knew who Taylor Swift was until Kanye West interrupted her acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards, 90% of you didn't know who Amber Rose was until she was seen out with who? Kanye. I am not at all crediting Kanye West for blowing up peoples careers. Taylor Swift had been creating hit country songs since she was age 15 outselling Gretchen Wilson, Carrie Underwood and Kelly Pinckler. I still can't tell you what Amber Rose has done that's remarkable. She is indeed a beautiful beast of a female but what is she doing with Kanye? Kanye is the last person that comes to mind when the word "swagger" is involved and across the board talking to women of all different backgrounds, they wouldn't let Kanye near their sweet honey nectar even if he did have the biggest stinger. He is the nerd/band geek that none of the pretty girls want. That again changed after the release of his album Graduation in which he beat out the 50 Cent for the #1 spot on the album charts that week. (I'm not even touching the 50 and Ciara debacle, too easy). Kanye started dressing a little better, actually a lot better and gaining noteriety from many fashion bloggers, sites and designers all around for his snappy style. The thing is, you still gotta see him naked, when he's naked you gotta look at his face and you when you're all alone and just the two of you, you still gotta deal with that rediculous ego.

Women for a fact know that sex is a powerful tool and Men know for a fact that money is a powerful tool as well and they know as long as they got the money, they can get the girl and as long as they can get the girl, they are getting the sex. So Money does in fact change a situation huh. Well maybe I should come into some money. I'd probably see a difference in how not only people treat me but I will never have to worry about an empty bed again. Just a thought.

Going Against The Grain (Part II): No Judgements, No Bias, Your Opinions!

2009-10-02T14:31:00.005-04:00

I asked the question: Have you ever had to compromise your ideal type in order to achieve happiness whether you're dating, in a relationship or in the past? What was the outcome your answers will be entered in my blog if I do so have your permission. in congruence with my last blog "Going Against The Grain" and here are some of my responses via twitter and yahoo take a look.

Tyler Lewis of http://tigger500.typepad.com wrote
I don't have a type so I don't compromise, I look for a flexibility in how people relate and generally avoid people who act as though they know what they want because they too often confuse "need" with "want". People who make lists and count what they do or don't do and what they get from their partner don't interest me. I look for people who understand that relationships are partnership not in a cheesy way but people who understand that i am a separate, whole individual and they are too. This kind of person is exceedingly rare hence, why i enjoy being single.
Everyone i've dated or fucked has been different in some way, i'm not overly concerned with looks.

@VonnisLove via Twitter: I have not compromise my ideal type because the ideal fluctuate over time. You change as a person and so does your likes and dislikes. Happiness and true feelings from where you least expect it. In general I think I have compromise the ideal vision of myself to gain happiness in the dating world and thats just hard to recover. You tend to put urself in situations and act with people you normally dont affliate with and thats the harm u can do to yourself

@datHarlembOi via Twitter: I have had to copromise my ideal type. I think everyone has dreams of the "ideal type" but you have to realize that in order to be happy you have to meet people where they are n life, and also u have to be able to compromise in order to have a successful friendship, relationship, dating, or a fuck!!

@CharmUrSoxOff via Twitter: Of course, beacuse nobody is perfect. When you decide to commit to someone, relationship wise, you agree to take the good with the bad... the ideal with the not so ideal. Love is so much more than finding the perfect person, it's about finding the perfect person FOR YOU, flaws and all

Jose G, of NY wrote via yahoo: All the time, well a few times I have. Sometimes a person get tired of finding the same bullshit in guys, same lies, and same tired ol games so you choose to give someone else a chance. someone that ideally is not your type (not too far from it) but nonetheless your ideal type. I guess thinking that this new persons physical and mental difference is going to make a "difference" in your relationship or a better relationship with turn out from it. In the other hand, sometimes changing your ideal type of guy/girl does not solve the problem. Sometimes you try to make a different pick of individuals and they end up being the same type of guy/girl in the inside. It all depends on the chemistry between you and that other person. Thats what I believe.

Reimonenq, New Orleans via Yahoo wrote: Looks are revelant as longs as you are happy. Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes. Money it comes n goes but a lifetime partner is once in a lifetime. Happiness is the key

Bratt, NY wrote Never I stayed true to myself. And realize relationships are not for me. I am much happier not having to be accountable for someone else's feelings

@Ahmaud via Twitter wrote Can't say that I have

@gotChauncey via Twitter wrote Nope sorry

@BITCHwerMyMONEY via Twitter wrote Well u always have to compromise, no man is perfect, I want a lot out of a man but I have to compromise a lot of times

Anonymous, D.C. wrote via yahoo wrote I dated someone who was nothing like me, hiv neg and very much in the closet, the relationship was exquisite, we learned things from each other that we couldnt have learned from dating our own types. Love transcends labels and identities. Even though we are no longer a couple, we have evolved our love to brotherhood some that most people cant call their friends or lovers.

@MellowShawty via Twitter wrote it always ends badly and the worse part about it, you feel like a fool n the end for settling n still ending up hurt alone n fucked up n the game

Wow! I appreciate everyones responses to my question and hopefully, I'll be able to re-visit this topic.

Going Against The Grain vs. Going With What You Know

2009-10-02T13:20:00.003-04:00

This morning I woke up to a familiar setting. I woke up alone. I woke up wondering what the guy that I wake up to would look like, smell like, feel like, sound like. You can't knock a brother for dreaming because right now that's all I have. Right now while most of my friends are beginning to learn their new boyfriends out how many that they've dated. I'm struggling to get dude across the room to notice me. I will say right now the biggest flaw in selecting who I choose to talk to has been that I always find out that they are taken and in relationships or "I'm not looking right now"

I never was the kind of guy to have a "type" of dude I wanted to be with when I first started becoming sexually active. I for some reason knew what kind of girls I liked when I was dating women, which I find ironic enough. I just knew that if it was a man and he was attractive and the sparks were there then I wanted him. Of course, people change and I asked this guy that I haven't seen in a long time this question "What happened between you and me that it didn't work?" and quite simply without hesitation he said "You're not my type" and I began to ask him what his type was and he laid out what he had to look like, act like, feel like, everything from his sexual role in bed to how many inches and how fat the booty had to be and he just laid it out there. I was quite surprised that we even dated because I possessed maybe 2 of the qualities if even that. He said that he went against everything to see if we can work but he could not get past my imperfections. Of course, I felt some type of way about this inside but what the hell am I going to do, I asked right? He did say this, He said that "...if I am going to find someone to be with then I can't go simply on what looks good at the moment and that I need to map out what kind of guys I am into" I thought this was quite dumb to be honest because I never had a type, I know what looks sexy, what looks good and what feels good however, what looks good, feels good, smells good isn't built to last. Basically what he saying was for me to "raise my standards a bit higher" . I met him when I was 23 and he was 24. He is now 28 and I am 2_ and I have to report that he is in fact still single.

In between the time of speaking with him and and finding out his current relationship status, I actually did raise the bar on what kind of guys could talk to me. At the time I was as mentioned in a previous blog going through my "cute phase" where my skin was clear and glowing, my haircut was always on point, nails and feet were always done and I was the thinnest and in the best I had been ever in my life so of course because I look, if I'm going to be seen at the same table as you at a restaurant you need to be looking dapper done or funky fresh dressed to impress ready to party. I was in the gym working on my physique and let me tell you, I was all about Hydroxycut to keep the fat down and CytoGainer to bulk my muscles up. I wanted to attract as many dudes to me as possible and so I did! (Aooow with the index finger on the booty). I have to say during this time in my life, I had the best sex of my life, I could've gotten anywhere, anytime and with anyone and it wasn't a problem because I had it like that. I was not looking to be Mister McFreak down but I wasn't going to pass up a hot time with a hot dude. Admittingly, I'm glad I did it then because I'm sure seeing that action today. When that phase began to wane I met a guy who was decent, attractive, nice toned body but I will say we bumped heads more times a pair of rams. He was arrogant and I'm more down to the earth, his social clique revolves around the Upper West Side snooty ex-NYU/Columbia students and my social clique revolves around people that like to kick back relax and let it all hang out or as its sometimes referred to as Below 14th street and above 145th street crowd. He liked tofu, I liked simple food. He hated everything I did and everything about what I did, how I did it, where I did, I mean he hated everything. The only time we got along as we further continued to date each other was when we were both silent. I sometimes wonder if I was his compromise and I still up this day ask myself did I compromise on my type messing around with him? That needless to say ended nearly as fast as it began, the sex was good though. Oh well. Fast forward to today waking up alone, I think about where I would be had I not placed restrictions on who I would or could date.

Of all the men I've dated. Only two of tem were something to look at. Angel and John. My reasons for dating the other men that has entered my life were because they actually treated me like they wanted me around and not like I was some extra in a movie scene. When I dated even overweight dudes in whom I may never be sexually attracted to, I never worried about feeling cheap, unwanted or disrespected. In fact, they treated me like Gold. I've dated plenty of guys that I knew deep down inside were not attractive but because I enjoyed their company and they enjoyed mine there was a mutual feeling of something there . I don't know where my next boyfriend is going to come from but I hope it's better than what I've ended up with these past few years. The most I can ask for is to be happy with someone that stimulates me mentally, physically, sexually and spiritually and that alone even if you take away the "type" of guy I'm into is so hard to find.

I Was In Love With A Preacher Man (Part II): No Smoke Without Fire

2009-10-01T01:47:00.001-04:00

After splitting with my partner, I went through that normal "grieving" period where I was uncertain about which was up and which direction I was going. When him and I broke up it became a 1, 2 punch. Not only did I lose love but I also lost my job at the time so without really much of anyone to talk to I had to pull myself up the both straps and get a new job. I started working at the GAP in SoHo on 8th street which though was a big step down from working at a bank, It was something. I enrolled back in Borough Manhattan Community College and I met a new boo thang I was 22, he was 17. Nobody told me I was being such a cougar and didn't dare stop me. Things were looking up post break up. I took alot of flack during my relationship with the Minister but considering where my friends stood with that, anything is better than dating a Minister.

A few months passed and I had gotten a phone call from another Minister (Minister Bentley, that went to another church that I had visited with my boyfriend at the time. His voice sounded familiar and I couldn't understand how he got my number but I knew who he was because has a very distinguishable baritone voice. I remember the conversation just as clear as if it was yesterday.

Bentley: "Brother Randy, how have you been?"
Me: "I'm fine who's this?"
Bentley: "Minister Bentley, friend of your friend ________"
Me: "Hi, I haven't spoken to him in a few months"
Bentley: "I know...someone wants to talk to you hold on"
Reggie: "Hey Randy, it's Reggie remember me I came to church a few times"
Me: "Oh hey sup"
Reggie "I had no idea that you and ______ had been seeing each other"
Me: "Yeah how did you know that"
Reggie "He told me"
Bentley "I had no idea either" (in the background)
Reggie: "How long were you together?"
Me: "About almost a year"
Reggie: "Why did y'all break up"
Me: "He said that he was given a message by God to change his ways or else"
Bentley: "Change his ways or else what?"
Me: "...or he was going to leave Junior with a dad because he doesn't approve"

Reggie and Bentley are both on the line "Hmmmm"

Me: "What's going on?"
Bentley: "That _______ never learns does he"
Reggie "He's a mess and I told you that Bentley"
Me: "What are y'all two talking about?"
Reggie "When you first met me did you have any idea that ___ and I were messing"
Me: "No not at all, I thought you two were friends"
Reggie "I though you two were friends too, I didn't know he was your ex!"
Me: "Wait so you two were messing around after he told me he stopped being gay?"
Reggie "...and he told you he stopped messing with dudes huh"
Me: "Yes"
Bentley "He ain't stop..."
Me: "So you mean to tell me he lied to me"
Reggie "We were messin around the whole time while I was going to church with yall"
Me: "What?"
Bentley "He was going to leave his life and kids for Reggie"
Me: "That I don't believe he would never leave those kids with her alone"
Reggie: "Well she is now"

By the conclusion to this conversation we were having on the phone, I also found out that his family knew of all of his boyfriends and the situations that occured around him. The Minister I had been so deeply in love with has a thing for preying on young man who are experiencing a rough patch in their lives with a promise of acceptance and a church home and pretty much everything he told me. If he could promise the moon and stars he'd promise that too. I couldn't understand why they were telling me all of this but I figured If they were trying to make a fool out of me then I would find out and If the Minister was indeed lying to me then I would find out in due time. I found out more and more about this person that I thought was in love with me as much as I was in love with them and here come to find out, I was just a sideshow. I found out through one on one conversations with Bentley that the Minister was still sleeping with his ex in the midst of him and I breaking up and that after a bad fight between the two where he ex walked out for good is when him and Reggie met in Greenwich Village (the gay area of New York City).

Winter 2002 was freezing cold, there was snow everywhere on the ground and my boyfriend Steven, the 17 year old and I were ready to finally go home and this man bumped me mad hard and we both turned around and he said "excuse me brotha" and we glanced very quickly, I didn't see his face and I heard him yell "Randy!" and I turned around, his voice caused an immediate recollection in my mind. It was indeed my ex, The Minister. I imagine the look on the my face was one that only a child wouldnt want to see from his own mother and that look of violent anger when you've done something you had no business doing but you did it anyway. The minister is angry with me yelling "I had been trying to call you for the longest what happened?" I kept it cool but seeing him made me want to knock him out. "I changed my number, I'm working now and I'm in a relationship now where I'm happy. I forgot how to be happy and what? you expect me to sit there and pretend to be happy for you and Neka?" (his wife). I could tell Steven was getting agitated by us sparring words and rightfully so. I had wanted to handle this right away while I had him in my face in the flesh so he can explain himself. Steven walks away to go to the store and get me something to drink and it was freezing and since Steven was a redbone puertorican he was not happy with being out there in that cold but I was burning with anger I didn't care.

The first thing out of my mouth next was "Why did you lie to me? Why did you break up with me and I find out you are messing with this guy and this guy and this guy" and his response was one that men who fuck up but wait until after the fact that they got caught in their own web says "I'm sorry but you wouldn't understand" and I told him "I understand that you were messing with Reggie while we were all going to church together. I understand that you were also seeing your ex whom you claim to have been disgusted by but what I don't understand is how your family in whom I love can look me in my face as I still visited you knowing that all this was going on" I shamed him into comfirmed everything that Bentley and Reggie told me on the phone previous weeks before and he claimed that he was sorry. I had somethings for him at my apartment including his bible and one of his chains and his towel and I actually kindly washed it too. I was a faithful mess until the end.

I visited the Minister at his apartment in Harlem. That ride on the A train from my Downtown Brooklyn to 135th Street was one that was so familiar. I did that same walk up the flight of stairs and that same turn around the corner to his building and rang the same bell that I rang dozens of times and was greeted by uncle who was so happy to me. I walked down the shotgun hallway that is indigenous to Harlem apartments and walked into his room and found a damn near discombaubulated Minister. He said he hadn't been feeling well and that he was depressed because his life was just all messed up. I informed him that I too have been there once and I gave him that look, the look that said well now you know . He continued to inform me that he no longer has his ministry as God has been punishing him for "back slidng" and for the affects it had on his friends and his family and people he cared about. After talking with him for a little while, I gladly handed him his items that I still had at my apartment and I told him "take care of yourself ok" and I walked myself out of the door. By this time, I had also broken up with Steven, after that I had realized that I just needed to rid myself of men and be happy with myself.

Years later in 2005, I saw his now ex-wife Neka in the same barber as I was with Junior, her and The Ministers product. My chair was position to where she couldn't see my face but the kids were just as cute as ever and Neka seemed to look decent so I assume that she was getting her life back on track too. I later saw a picture of the Minister on MYSPACE and he was married and had a baby in his hand except the woman he was married to was not Neka. His page was full of wedding photos and he appeared happy. It was comfirmed to me through several sources that he gave up custody of his son to be with his mother because it was the best thing for the kids to be together. Apparently, Neka got in that ass and threatened his a custody suit and opposed to fighting it he agreed to give up parental rights. It's just amazing how many lives were affected by the selfishness of one person. I always knew I wanted a man that had a close relationship with God but this has brought on a whole new fear about me entering the sanctuary of the Lord. However, I now live life knowing alot more than I did before. I've grown wiser through this situation and I am mad no one, not even myself because in the end this made me the person I am today. I still love the Lord Jesus Christ and he knows that and I have watched him work in many ways in my life over and over again and I never doubt him. For anyone that has any doubts I'll put it like this. If I don't have any doubts after everything I've been through then don't you shouldn't have any doubts in the Lord.

I Was In Love With A Preacher Man (Part I)

2009-09-29T17:08:00.001-04:00

On twitter last month, I was explain to my friend in Christ Jaymes Terence, how in 2001-2003 I was heavily into going to church. It was new and exciting baptized, filled with the holy ghost, speaking in tongues (though I'm not sure about that last two parts anymore), I was pretty much doing it all. Did that make me any less gay, the answer I give you then and I will you today is absolutely not . I was just not placing myself in the position to be seen as the messy church queen and that I up to this day will maintain. I never was the one on the hunt while the good word was being preached. Everytime I went to church it was just a wonderful thing to see Gods work at it's best

In 2001 I met a Minister and I don't know if I was fortunate to meet him or if he was a crossroads in my life. I met him casually on my way home from the club. And ours kept crossing paths and we exchanged hellos and I took his number and he took mine and we had been talking, dating, going to dinner, walks in the parks well little did I know he had a son that looked like a spitting image of him and the boy is absolutely adorable. Back then, I was into flirting with the idea of fatherhood (ask me what I think now). He was also raising his at the time seperated from wife's child from previous relationship. [Hold what you want to say because it's all going to come full circle]. Whatever problems The Minister and his wife had came way before I came into the picture and I was not introduced to her until much later in us dating. To make matters even more messy, I was introduced to his ex-boyfriend who I saw at NYC pride looking like a freak show, holy hot mess. Things were just a mess all around him but I didn't care he was everything that I was looking for extremely smart, very attractive, slim sexy, with all the essential goods you'd want but his personal life was a mess and his mess shortly became mine.

At one afternoon service during a church visit by Pastor Linda Reid, the controversy reared its ugly head like a boiling pot of water with the lid on it just boiling. She created a prayer line at the end of service and used her gift of "discernment" to call out the "spirit of homosexuality" out of me. I have never been so embarrassed and uncomfortable in my entire life. You just outed me in front of your entire congregation and the gasps that followed just made my back sweat and as he sat there just looking and I looked at him with the look saying Help Me I knew that my mind was speaking to his because it read in my eyes and he was crying because there was nothing either one of us could do. Yes, I let him have it and he explained to me that as a Minister there is nothing he can do about the situation because that was "Gods Work" and I explained to him my experience of being outed in the High School cafeteria and that shame, guilt and disrespect I felt along with the action of being an outcast. I'd be damned at 21, 22 years of age would I go through something I experienced at 16 & 17 all over again. He promised to stand by me and that's when I learned promises are meant to be broken.

Our last official date was at the marina that had once been shadowed by the Twin Towers and we walked around it was a beautiful night September 10, 2001 and we were outlining our future together. Even after the fall out of being called out in front of a major church like that I was still happy and in love with this beautiful Man of God.

As everyone knows the next day the terrorists attacked the United States by air. Communication was damaged and smoke, ash and debris filled the Downtown Manhattan and Downtown Brooklyn areas. We spoke about a week later when phone service resumed and he told me that he had a "message from God" that he was hindering my growth as a Christian and that he could not continue being my partner. Up to this day, that was by far the most original break up line I have ever received. I witnessed him and his wife get back together and I slowly found myself out the picture for good. I did what a respectful person in my situation would and should do and thats walk away gracefully. While she was very aware of what was going on in his life, that was still her man, her husband, the father of the child that they have together and even thought they were seperated, I had no place there whether or not their problems existed before or during my dealings with him.

I don't have any quirks and qualms about going to church but i do know that I am just gay if not gayer now than I ever was when i was going to church and thought I love the lord and identify myself as a Christian, Because of the situation I put myself through I have a fear of going back to church. I don't want to go through the calling my homosexual spirt out and I don't want to get wrapped up into the church politics. This Jaymes, is why I have not been to church and why am I scared to see the inside of another church again.

There is a Part II...seriously CODE 10!

Great Friends Stupid Advice (I Love You But Shut Up)

2009-09-29T16:49:00.001-04:00

Why is the ones that are always boo'ed up and cuddled and caked up never have a problem getting with someone but always want to tell their single friends "oh your time will come, you just gotta be patient" Why the hell do I gotta wait around while I watch you two suck each others face apart. Were you being patient when you was riding his dick these past few weeks meanwhile you broke up with your last boyfriend just the week before. I mean damn, you didn't even wipe the spit and lube off your dick before you moved on to the next person and now you're in a "relationship" What do I look waiting? I feel like people who do that to their frieve a secret motive to have you single so that way when things aren't going right in their lives, you are always available and I am here to say it don't quite work like that and not in my book. You as a friend is going to have to come with something a bit better.

It's always the ones that can't go 3 weeks little alone 3 months without being in a relationship thats telling you to wait. I personally think they should take their own advice and find out what it mean to be really single and I mean really single like no dates, no jump offs, no none of that. I bet you any amount of money they'd feel the same way I feel right now. I am on Day 404 of no sex, no date. And don't even think this is by choice either reference [D.O.D.N.Y.C Death of Dating in New York] . Like seriously, giving "advice" for the sake of giving is not being a good friend. Being a good friend comes with understanding where the other one is coming from. If you can't relate than maybe it's just a better idea not to say anything at all. In fact, I did challenge some of my friends to turn down their next "piece" to see what its like to be single longer than a season and they refused because they would rather go blind than to not have a warm body in their bed. It's not that they won't but they can't. Being single is not a choice that people want to make if they had a change to decide.

I think it's best to say that if you haven't been single for longer than a year than you don't know what lonely mean. And don't try to use lonely in context of friends and family either because I don't you want to be kissed, hugged and carressed by your friend or some of you friends. Think about it now. Don't be a dummy.

So Insecure

2009-09-29T16:26:00.001-04:00

I find myself to be a really nice but not the guy that dudes look at right away with that "MMM DAMN" eye. The best thing I usually hear is "you're a cool dude" or "oh my god he is so funny". Granted if it wasn't for the sense of humour that I have today, I am pretty sure I would have committed suicide along time ago. I used to think that I was so unattractive and while I still struggle with my insecurities, I have come to understand that I can't change my features so no nose jobs, no eye lifts, no lip injections or cheek implants or any of that. I have to just work with what I have and I can't lie there are just times where I feel that maybe what I'm working with is not enough. Is this why we have so many whores and sluts? The girls have big boobs wear a shirt short of exposing the ariola (sp?) and they wear poom poom shorts knowing good and well one leg is going in the crack of their ass while the other one is laying down, now you know that is a CODE 10!

I consider myself a really handsome guy, I actually do. I think I've always been handsome but not the "cute" boy, everybody wants that boy that looks like a member of B2K or something and I've never been that guy and for the record I look like an absolute idiot in a fitted. I think I've maybe had a "cute" phase probably between the age of 23 - 25, my skin was clear, I was the thinnest I had ever been at about 145lbs and guys were hitting on me left and right. I kinda wish I wasn't detoxing from my last failed relationship and made more of the most of the attention that I was getting at that time. It really did boost my confidence to know that no matter where I was going I was able to turn heads. Now that I am no longer turning heads and I am more than worried because now I am trying to figure what in the world do I need to do to get their attention. This is getting harder and harder. SCARED.

The Rise of The Neo-Heterosexual Male (?)

2009-09-28T04:16:00.001-04:00

I can't believe I'm finding myself talking about this subject but after getting an interesting or two tweets from a young man from Tallahassee, FL aka Tallyho. He recalled that the first person he told he was gay was one of his straight friends, who go figure later on became a pastor. I liked this story and it's funny because I remember the first I told that I was gay, was another gay person. It felt good to have a commonality but there's something I guess different about being accepted by a straight person. Yes, gays have become more and more mainstream in media and entertainment but there are some areas where the weather is a little "gray or cloudy". In writing this I am not at all saying that we "need" to be accepted by straights to feel accepted however it definetely takes away from the incredible cultural taboo of "Oh my god, you're gay? How can you be gay" or "You're too cute to be gay". If you take away the strength of negativity it becomes something positive and for a long time being gay wasn't this Will & Grace kinda thing and when you saw us on TV they all acted like Jack from Will & Grace and if they were black they were usually flamboyant with permed hair and wore women clothing and accessories.

Look at it like this, I love that fashion particularly in cities like New York has made the line between gay and straight a lot more ambiguous. I actually do because being gay is not a fashion. I used to not like when people say that "its in season to be gay", no it is not because let me tell it I've always been in season whether it be Summer 2008 or Fall 2010. Straight boys are now walking around with nerd glasses, rocking skinny jeans with the pants sagging low with the colorful underwear, (some of them even elect to rock pressed faux-hawks, mohawks or just let the hair down with no cornrows) and just really stepping it up style wise and the ladies soon followed with their colorful jeans and high heels and cute backpacks. Some people hate it, I love it since it puts alot of these wanna-be "hardcore niggas" or "street thugs" to the fringes of the urban culture that has created so many ugly stereotypes about people from inner cities.

This past summer I attended this get together that my friend and I created called "Margarita Mondays" where the drinks are $3 all night but I promise you the service can be dumb shitty. I met a group of girls Tenille, Tamikha and a friend of theirs along with their (I'm not going to lie) attractive male friend. I was first of all embarrassed for hitting on him but I was even more delighted when he told he is 100% straight and that he is totally comfortable with his surroundings. You can't ask too many straight dudes to hang out with 15+ gay dudes hollaring and carrying and just being gay but he did with such grace and ease. I was even more surprised that they are all of west indian decent. That's huge for me. I guess maybe I am old school and fear the old school name-calling or bullying that I would receive for being comfortable in my own skin and my own sexuality. However, I don't wear my sexuality on my forehead or my sleeve, I don't make it a science project to hide either.

Now that this movement of Neo-Heterosexuals are somewhat sweeping from city to city. It makes me somewhat optimistic that there would be less hatred, less discrimination and more rights for gays and lesbians across the country as we are still in the battle over full gay rights. Any heterosexual male or woman who accepts a gay friend for who they are, hear this now. You do not know how much that means to that person to be fully embraced and accepted and the impact of the non judgements and hopefully someone who was not once open-minded can follow your lead and move in the forward direction.

I don't really have a closing statement but I hope I pretty much got the point across.

Leave me your comments, you know I love those

Drink of choice: Moscato on the rocks.

Interracial Dating Stigmas, Stereotypes & Successes

2009-09-27T02:29:00.001-04:00

Born to a Conservative family from the south, it took me many years to finally see my first Interracial couple and it took me much longer than that to see the product of an interracial marriage. When I finally did, I thought nothing of it. I thought well they are two people in love, that have a great relationship and have beautiful kids. What I always loved about Interracial kids is that they always looked racially ambiguous and had the only messy afro, It is so cute to see it on a toddler who's hair weighs more than their own body. However, I never knew the prejudices and pressures from the outside to either be very successful or be a complete failure. People thing that gays have it hard, I can say that Interracial couples culturally have it bad as well with the stereotypes, the stigmas, the suggestive looks.

More and more, If you ask your friends what are they you would find that alot of people without knowing it are the product of Interracial marriages. I have two friends that are Jamaican-Cuban or Jamaican-Puertorican decent and oddly in a funny way people don't consider either of two "interracial" because Puerto-Ricans and Cubans can trace their African roots back simply to one generation prior to them. I think people have more of a problem when there is a white man or a white woman involved, and while some cultures embrace interracial marriages the problem become more prevelant when there is color involved.

A few months ago, I was an emotional wreck. People see this as a sign of weakness or that I can't seem to get it together but don't judge a person based on what you know of yourself but look at the situation from if you had to be in their situation. I was agonizing over being single for 5 years and I had not been having sex on the fly at all, I have been kinda solo for over a year now (as mentioned in a previous blog) I just felt absolutely unseen, unheard and undesirable to the same group of people that I do deeply love. I love dark and chocolate brothas and yeah the not so chocolate gets love too however, as explain I feel as if I wasn't being looked at with that same desire, though I had meeting really great guys, there was always one thing, they were all taken yet flirting hard with me, it was as if they were using me as some kind of "reserve" for when their relationship goes south they can have something to snuggle up with. When I do get up the nerve to talk to somebody the magical line appears "I'm actually kinda talking to somebody right now so yeah sorry" I was in the apartment alone and I had texted everyone and got on facebook and told myself that I am no longer interested in dating black men anymore. And then the backlash began.

I began receiving phone calls, e-mails and text messages explaining how irrationally I was acting and that this isn't coming from a genuine place and that I am wrong for disowning my "beautiful black brothas" in favour of ... "pink meat" (?) - Yeah, exactly. I actually thought the pink meat one was kinda funny becuase if I ever heard a ignorant phrase, that would be it.

I was even more suprised by the infinite amount of support and love I've gotten from some very unlikely sources saying that they support my decision and agree with how I view Black gay men in New York and they felt that if I strongly believed in what I was saying then the people I offended would have to suck it up and just nod their heads because this is my battle and not theres. I agreed to apologize anyway for offending the people that I do care about however re-iterated my position on dating outside of my race.

The evidence is quite frankly and clearly in the pudding and it's looking quite appetizing. There is a huge cultural different if you walk a 10 block radius in the Avenues of New York. In the village you see you young and urban blacks and latinos a long with affluent whites sharing a very multicolored landmark neighborhood but if you keep walking up Hudson Street which soon becomes 8th Avenue then you walk into the extremely in your face GAY neighbourhood of Chelsea that occupies everything from 14th Street all the way up to 32nd Street and spreads from the West Side Highway to 6th Avenue. You see white couples holding hands but more so you see extremely happily gay interracial black to white couples and the prejudices that are found in the urban community or in fringe conservative white communities are not present, they are allowed to be young, gay and happy. Jealous much? hell yeah I am where is my young, gay and happy?

I can only speak from an urban mindset because thats where I grew up and how I grew up, someone from a white conservative setting may see it differently. However there is this "fear" or perception that White people come up and "scoop up" all the good ones that they are fighting for. Then on the flipside there is this perception that when a black woman get with a white man or vice versa that they are only with them because they will get them out the hood and keep the financial stable. Though I must say there are some people out there that are gold diggers and will jump at the opportunity to get in a white limo if they knew they didn't have to take the bus anymore however it's much deeper than that, first of all I have something to say to all those people that have something to say about who other people are dating and not worrying about who's in their beds.

Dennis Rodman who's first wife was white explained that he received the same amount of flack from black women that he dated and he flatly said "You bitches played me all through growing up, you wouldn't give me any play because you thought I was tall and ugly so why does it matter now because I'm giving this good dick away to someone who wants it?" That right there kinda says what I think about people's narrow-minded perceptions.

Why does it have to be about money? Why does it have to be about status? Why can't it be simply because they genuinely and truly love each, love each others company, time and companionship?

So I explained to one of my best friends, I consider him a great intelligent mind and he was one of the people that gave me the most flack for wanting to close the door on Chocolates. I told him when I was single and went to clubs and went to the parties no one paid me no mind, the boys would throw me shade and their friends would kiki however the minute I go to a party and I come with a white date, all of the sudden its all eyes on us, it is as if the DJ stopped playing the music altogether. So you wouldn't look me up 2 seconds before but all of the sudden I have a white date and now you want to take notice, now you want to look at me and now that you are looking at me and you are looking at me sideways for?

He explained that his main concern was that he didn't want me being used expressing that he doesn't want me to become the black-white relationship stereotype where and (don't laugh but I have seen this too) Where the black guy is the most "noticeably" dominant person in the relationship, so therefore he becomes "daddy" or the Black in the relationship becomes the submissive bitch to the white guy in the relationship or he doesn't want me to become the one making the funny collard-greens and chicken wings jokes to create laughs among his white friends. I simply explained to him that you find that even inside same-race relationships you will have the one thats more dominant, the one thats submissive and the ones that's more social than the other. It's just how people attract each other.

There is a huge success in dating outside of ones race. There is that general curiosity between both partners to learn about each others background, try new things and learn from each other experiences. A relationship is supposed to be one that builds and being in an interracial relationship gives a couple that head start in that journey. You're both already different by not only race, but culture and background then there is that well "what are you likes & dislikes" what are your feelings on.... and so on and so on. What I also find convenient about interracial relationships particularly in the beginning is that the "haters" make themselves so known in an obvious way that they get booted before they can cause any trouble.

I have yet to be convinved otherwise that there is something wrong with interracial dating nor do I see any of the reasonings for the stereotypes of stigmas that present themselves in modern day culture. Love doesn't have to have a color, race, look, style, age or guidelines. It just has to be what it is and let them be happy.

If you liked what you read leave me comment. I love you for reading.

Drink of choice: Yellow-Tail Merlot half glass

D.O.D.N.Y.C. [Death of Dating in New York City]

2009-09-25T21:14:00.001-04:00

Today is actually the 395th day that I have gone without sexual contact or intimacy with another human being. Though I like the piece of mind given to me not having to deal with all the complicated mayhem that tends to follow being a black gay male, at the same time the desire is like a whistle being blown in your ear by a drill sargeant.

After testing HIV Negative in April, I vowed to really get serious about start not just looking for a boyfriend of a boytoy but a partner. I am slowly yet eagerly approaching that age where in gay years you are no longer considered "cute". Let's just clarify something, dogs are cute, cats are cute, pink dresses on a 3 year old girl is cute but at 30+ you are not cute. You better come with something a bit more substant than cute at 30+. 30 and beyond is not the age to be trying to play 21 year old games either.

When adam4adam.com and men4now.com became popular along with what was then blackgaychat.com a few years ago, serious dating started to see a decline however, today on September 23, 2009 serious dating has taken a serious nosedive to almost a murky grave. If it's not the age or the dating revolution, it's the recession. So what in fact does the recession have to do with dating, well the brothas are kinda slick. See if homeboy keep crying that he don't have it because either he lost his job or his job is cutting back hours or whatever the case may be, he doesn't have to be obligated to take you out or even try to. While I personally have never had a problem flipping the bill, I personally might have a problem doing it every single time we go out and I think thats fair, at one point I want to get my back scratched if I'm kindly and politely rubbing yours.

Going back to the lovely sex sites that masquerade themselves as dating sites, There is a commonality with all of them is that dudes use these sites to try to establish dating however I think I need to point out there is the difference between the dude that wants to see you at 1am than the dude that calls you and ask do you want to do lunch at 1pm . What exactly do you get out that site besides seeing each for a late night creep? What is there to accomplish? I guess when you go into a situation with no expectations, it's way better than going in with some type of low expectation.

Adding salt on the wound of dating in New York City is that online sex hookups have become so common and so second nature that people only refer to each other by faces, by the back of their heads or by there screen names. I eagerly recall a situation where I was at BBQs (yes the messy one on 23rd & 8th Avenue)with a group of friends and one of them noticed someone across the restaurant and just out of curiosity when he came back I wanted to know who the tall drink of water was and he was like "To be honest I don't know his name, I only know him by 'SexySlimBttm4u'" The only way I was able to cope with that answer was to continue sipping on my Pina Colada.

It would really be nice to meet someone to go out on a date where there is a mid price dinner involved, get to know the person talk to them, catch a movie sometime which by todays standards is way too much to ask. Even if I did meet someone worth my time, I gotta worry about some hoe-ass lurking around the corner eyeing my dude with a freshly fleeted ass just ready with his ass up in the air, and if the guy I'm seeing is a weak tool then he'll absolutely go for it with no clear disregard for what we're trying to build. See, sex is jus too easy in this lovely city and the temptation is just so inviting. As ShawnQT of YouTube fame asked "Why do we all want a relationship but ready to get with somebody else's man? When will WE ALL respect other peoples relationships?" That is whole other beast which leads the trust issues and also the lack of respect that we have for each other in that department.

This lovely shithole I call home where in 2005 51% of African-American gay men are infected with HIV and now in 2009 60% are now infected, which equates to 3 out 5 black gay males that you meet are infected. In New York City's white community, 21% of the white gay male community are infected with HIV and that number has been steadily dropping throughout the years.

Now What I find lovely about our scene in New York City which absolutely differs is that it is a magnifying glass into gay culture in major cities across America. I discussed this with many of my friends who wanted to know why I have become less and less fond of dating black men particularly is because instead of trying to get to know each other we have become walking profiles. Let me explain a typical http://www.adam4adam.com/ http://www.men4now.com or bgc account looks something like this

25, 6'0, 165, 31w, 34chest, Swimmers Build, Looking for Friendship, Looking for Relationship 1 on 1 sex, 3some/Group Sex, Misc Fetishes

Down to earth guy here looking for someone who tryin to keep it real. I am into only light skinned Black and Latino guys with a nice dick, fat ass and nice body sorry but no fats/no fems I'm not into yall oh if you smoke thats a +

Vers/top 9.5 cut, HIV-,Prefer Meeting at Your Place

I'm sure you can name quite a few things wrong with this example of a profile however it may look to you when some of you are cruising others profiles, it for some reason translates into just common day walking down the block, We have become designed with so much unrealistic standards of who we want to be with that in essence what we are doing is looking for a fantasy not a reality. I'm wonder did I create a disadvantage by removing myself off those now going on 2 1/2 years or am I better off.

Listen everyone is entitled to "have fun" and everyone is entitled to not want to "jump into anything right away" which is what I hear alot so the question I ask is "when is the right time?", "when will you be ready" Will you be ready tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, 5 years, 10 years from now 20 years from now or 20 seconds before you last breath and you realized you shitted your years on drugs, alcohol and empty sex. I see this alot in what alot of people call their favourite hang out spot "Chi-Chi's" in New York City's Greenwich Village (which if you are from DC and is familiar with the Fireplace, Chi-Chi's can pass as a sister club). I have always dubbed Chi-Chi's as "The Lonely Boys Club", the demographics is usually older black gay men that like many of us in their 20's and 30's just wanted to have fun, go to balls, be quite loose with their finances and build nothing and many of them which has been burned by drugs, men and HIV that they are just happy to see another day little alone see another man. This is where alot of our gay black youth will end up in a few years and it creates a huge lump in my throat because I see it oh too often with many of the people I hold dear to me. Yes the place offers (and I kid you not) chicken wings and cute bartenders and easy cheap drinks and all the messiness you can expect in that kind of environment, but when you are spotted leaving there or going there religiously on the way to the PATH train or to the Christopher Street Piers, you have to ask yourself "what the hell am I doing?"

I go in extensively about this topic to really nail down exactly what I'm looking for yes, I am looking for someone who is close to my height, close to my weight and close to my age, preferrably with a job, preferrably is of some type of religious (not cult) faith, is everything on this list mandatory? no because at some point the opportunity may present itself for me to upgrade them and for them to upgrade me because I definetely am I not going to walk around with my nose up thinking that I am the hottest cheese on the block because I am not, I can use an upgrading too. Part of a partnership is you taking of that person and them taking care of you. An upgrade is if theyre rocking a Gucci duffle, then you're getting the YSL version. If they are driving a Mercedes Benz, then next thing you know for your 2 or 3 year anniversary you find yourself getting a BMW convertible now THAT is an upgrade and that is also a result of love, trust, dedication and committed but 95% with our fast ways and stubborn egos, desires and expectations will never see that.

In closing, You have to ask yourself as I personally have examined, When you are 60 and if God deems it fit find yourself in good health do you want to go look back at your life and be able to see and verbalize everything that you have build and accomplished with whoever you have been with and say wow "Look at what you and I created" or will be telling stories to the new queens saying "Man I remember back in the day I used to fuck the boys left and right...I used to have them 15 boys a week..." I personally know I want to build something whether it is for myself, with the support of myself or with that amazing significant lover, so are you ready to jump aboard Success' Express or do you still want to be waiting at the station of interference and stagnancy?

Thanks for reading my blog and I hope you enjoyed, Leave me a comment and let me know what your opinion.

Drink of choice: Disaronno on Ice halfway just covering the ice.

BRING BACK THE CRACK, IN WITH THE HEROIN!

2009-09-24T19:58:00.001-04:00

I grew up in 1980's East New York in Brooklyn by Broadway Junction, which for many Brooklyn residents is like a major landmark because of the structure of its train station that connects the A,C,J,L,Z lines and buses that take you deeper into Brooklyn and out into the Borough of Queens. Living in that area was not easy especially as an awkward kid that grew into an awkward teenager that was just trying to stay out of trouble. Everyone at the time was either on welfare, on drugs, or dying of AIDS from either unsafe sex with prostitutes or needle use. How do I know this well I may have small ears but I have supersonic hearing. Thinking back, probablyt he adults I grew to love are either in jail or dead. There was so much character in seeing the prostitutes on Fulton Street and Rockaway Avenue get out their "Johns" cars and slip the money into their shoes and walk back over to Eastern Parkway and Fulton Street to pick up their next John.

Other fond memories of living in Brooklyn was that I lived with my grandmother and my uncle in a five bedroom apartment on messy Fulton Street and she paid no more than $500, huge spacious, plenty of room especially for a family of people that is used to weighing more than 200lbs. In this living situation space is key.

The dynamics of the city was different then, I was born in 1982 and I have memories as far back as when I was very young. The blackout and riots of 1977 was still fresh in New Yorkers memories. It was the time when fear and poverty, pain and suffering saw no color. People were desperate, it was in the middle of a heatwave during a hotly contested mayoral race that launched Mayor Ed Koch to national stardom and won his first of 3 terms as New Yorks mayor. Anyone old enough to remember the campaigns against Ed Kock "Don't for the HOMO, vote for Cuomo" [referring to then incumbent Mario Cuomo who was seeking re-election] well Mayor Cuomo was an absent mayor during the blackout of 1977 which resulted into a citywide mass riot and arson of many buildings with the Bronx and many parts of Harlem being the worst affected.

After the Blackouts and Riots of 1977 many of the affluent whites deemed it "unsafe" to live in New York City Metropolitan Area. They moved to Connecticut, Upstate NY, New Jersey and many of them moved to Nassau and Suffolk Counties in Long Island never to return again until the real estate boom of the late 90s and new millenium. Well, Another thing to point out growing up in New York City was like living in an episode of HBO "The Wire" or HBO "OZ" but instead of being in prison you were living it in general public. You couldn't avoid not knowing people who were either alcoholic dependents or strung out on crack, cocaine, weed, heroine or dust. It wasn't right but it was something that I learned to accept was around me. Shoot outs were common and you just knew not to hang out in front of the bodega.

During those times rent was controlled everywhere. Now you have to scour for a rent stabilized apartment. Today a one bedroom apartment will start you at $1400 and up. a studio $1200. A two bedroom $1800 and up. To ride the trains and buses today is $89for a monthly pass, I remember when it cost $1.25 to get on the train and we still used tokens not Metrocards. When we did start to get "technological" and use Metrocards, it cost $63 a month to get around New York City and $17 for a weekly pass which was absolutely affordable since at that time, wages were able to support rent, food, utilities and transportation. As we are in a hotly contested health care debate one of the main arguments is that wages have either remained steady or fallen while the price of health insurance has gone up. Well as a resident in NYC that's not the only thing that went up. Food, utilities, rent and even transportation has all gone up which is what has been exposed as nationwide corruption in all jurisdictions. Who suffers? The middle class. Who else suffers? New York City minorities. Everyone is suffering right now regardless or race and status and that is what's so disturbing about the economic climate because I feel like we may be approaching another 1977!

I say bring on the 1977. Though I like Mayor Mike Bloomberg, I think this city can afford another round of burned down real estate and a citywide reintroduction of crack, heroin, cocaine and dust. It's just not enough to have weed and Ecstasy pills, bring on all the hardcore stuff and make it super cheap and affect all areas around the city and let them run a damn fool! It's the only remedy I see to where New York City will become affordable again. We can't really trust the housing market to fail. Despite a 14% unemployment rate which means that 14% of the population is currently out of work which is well above the national average of 9.7%, the housing market is still incredibly strong. Well, if the city becomes to unsafe to live then nobody will want to move here and if particularly affluent whites find it unsafe to live here and decide to move away and the city can't get new tenants to pay this unprecedented rent then what's next but a Housing Market crash!

Having lived through many economic highs and lows whether felt personally or global, it's the only solution I can come up with. Call me an absolutely cynic but you know what I absolutely miss living in a 5 bedroom apartment for no more than $500/month and you know what so does my grandmother who is now living in a Brownsville project complex off of the 3 train by Junius Street train station.

Drink of choice: a "40"

Mimi's Memoirs Is One The Music Geisha's Would Appreciate

2009-09-23T21:43:00.001-04:00

Three fatal mistakes Pop/R&B singers make that creates an imperfect album
- They load all the great tracks in the beginning and let the rest of the album flail along

-They load all the fun tracks in the beginning of the album, leave the middle empty and pick back up towards the end

-Load the album with the hottest DJs, rappers, guest singers and producers making the album sound dated.

Mariah Carey's twelfth studio album has managed to avoid all three of those fatal errors that singers today make. This genius of an album goes with her classic diamond status albums "Music Box" & "Rainbow" and easily silents her critics who was not too fond of E=MC2 or as comedians used to call it E=FAT, referring to how unflattering she looked on the album cover. Everything from the album cover to the lyrical content to the musicality of the album is perfect for what Mariah fans needed to hear from her and perfect for the expectations that music industry has for her. This album does lack however is the belting and outright vocal brovado that "Emancipation of Mimi" had but who cares, most of us bought 'Mimi' loved it, enjoyed it and it won 3 Grammys that year resulting in the Billboard-hailed best selling album of 2005.

This album however finds her working with a limited production staff consisting of The-Dream, Tricky Stewart and when they're not present Jim Wright who is 1/3 of the production team Terry Lewis & Jimmy Jam of Janet Jackson fame. That was a smart move, We rarely get to hear people like Jim Wright on their own (this is true about Chad Hugo of The Neptunes and until as of recently Danja of Timbalands production). Jim Wright was a good addition to the album and his work is heard on the tracks "Betcha Gon' Know", "Angels Cry" & "I Want To Know What Love Is" (alongside Randy Jackson of American Idol fame). The rest of the album was produced by her label mate and now one of her bosses The-Dream. That right there was another smart business move, keep it in the label family and have access to some of the best music in R&B/crossover.

This album can carry single-worthy status from beginning to end however there are some stand outs. "H.A.T.E.U." though I tried not to review this song, it grew to become one of my favourite tracks listed later on, shows Mariah at her lowest register taking nothing away from her singing, it shows that she can do something other than coo and whisper however she does give you on hell of a whistle throughout the song. "Ribbon" which carries the classic "Radiokilla" sound with the slowed down fat guy singing on the background, its smooth like butter and the harmonies are easy on the ears. "Insperable" runs a fine-line between originality and sampling Natalie Coles "Inseperable" though the former is not mentioned as a sample however I love the fact that she DID sample "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper for this track and make it something you can two-step to. "Standing O" is definetely an angry-bitch song and if you sit through the track you will absolutely love the way it ends! "It's A Wrap" has an amazing throwback to the likes of Cissy Houston and Brenda Franklin (Aretha Franklins sister) on the background wailing and I mean Mariah is wailing on that background vocal. The song has an early 60's feel to it. "Up Out My Face" is a song Janet Jackson wish she had on her upcoming album, it's very much the title of the song letting the guy in the situation know ummm you need to get to steppin, and theres a lovely shout out to Nick Cannon on the 50 second addition to the album thats classy without being in your face like other R&B couples. "The Impossible" which is Ryan Drake of www.adtv.com song of choice, This song shows Mariah being genuinely sexy without being campy, glossy, glitzy or corny.

I finally determined "More Than Just Friends" produced by The-Dream as my favourite track as it just oozes late 90s B.I.G.'s "One More Chance" and "Angels Cry" a fierce vocal performance in which in reverse she does her whistle register in the beginning and climaxes throughout the song. I am actually hoping she releases "More Than Just Friends" like next week or the week after her album release. I feel as she could have absolutely left "I Want To Know What Love Is" completely off the album

I am still at a lost for words at the fact that there were two left off this album. One called "Imperfect" which according to L.A. Reid was not a strong enough song for an album this consistent and a undisclosed track produced by Timothy "Timbaland" Mosley.

In closing this album is definetely worth the buy on iTunes, Wally-World (Walmart), Target, Virgin Megastores, HMV (for the UK'ers) and my favourite place Best Buy. It is the first album since "Music Box" and "Daydream" that had showed a consistent presence of musicality from beginning to end as I raise my left eyebrow and purse my lips, I say that save from "I Want To Know What Love Is" I only bash the song not because its a bad vocal performance but because it doesn't fit in the rest of the album. It's like the child that came out looking different from the family of 12 kids. Just get the album, you won't be dissapointed.

1. "Betcha Gon' Know" (additional producer(s): James "Big Jim" Wright) — 4:00
2. "Obsessed" — 4:05
3. "H.A.T.E.U." — 4:28
4. "Candy Bling" (additional writer(s): Ahmad A. Lewis, Stefan Gordy, John Klemmer) (additional producer(s): Los Da Mystro) — 4:03
5. "Ribbon" — 4:21
6. "Inseparable" (additional writers(s): Robert Hyman, Cyndi Lauper) — 3:34
7. "Standing O" — 4:00
8. "It's a Wrap" (additional producer(s): Heatmyzer, James Wright) — 3:59
9. "Up Out My Face" — 3:41
10. "Up Out My Face (The Reprise)" — 0:51
11. "More Than Just Friends" (additional writer(s): Sean Combs, Chris Wallace, Rashad Smith, Mark DeBarge, Etterlene Jordan) — 3:37
12. "The Impossible" — 4:01
13. "The Impossible (The Reprise)" — 2:26
14. "Angel (The Prelude)" (additional producer(s): James Wright) — 1:04
15. "Angels Cry" (additional writer(s): Crystal Johnson) (additional producer(s): James Wright) — 4:02
16. "Languishing (The Interlude)" (additional writer(s) & producer(s): James Wright) — 2:34
17. "I Want to Know What Love Is" (written by Mick Jones) (additional producer(s): James Wright, Randy Jackson) — 3:27

Drink of Choice With This Album: A glass of Pomegranate Martini filled all the way up

Why Don't You Sit Down & Have A Baby!

2009-09-18T00:13:00.001-04:00

One of my followers on twitter Andrew (@beyoncelvr) about how he is sick and tired of people saying that Beyonce needs to sit down and have a baby.

There is this thought that all women want to one day no matter how successful they get want to sit down and raise a family. According to a recent poll shown on CNN, This is only true among approximately 50% of women in America and true among only around 33% of African-American women in America. Hopefully you are keeping up with these numbers because there are more to come.

One of the things that struck me was that in 1967, the number of African-American families headed by a two person household was 67%, today in 2009 the number has shifted to 31%. It is not uncommon to see African-American women raising children alone. It is also not uncommon to see extremely successful African-American women either married or in a relationship and seemingly having no desires to have children. Some examples are Beyonce & Jay-Z, Mary J. & Kendu, Mariah & Nick (though there has been many speculation), Janet & (whoever she is with at the time). The only true contemporary female entertainer to express motherhood in a very graceful way has been Whitney Houston. She showed that yes, you can sell million of records and be an excellent mother and be hold your status as a diva while being relevant. From a pop standpoint, Victoria Beckham went from 1/5 of Spice Girls to help co-create the Beckham empire, doing this all while being a member of the Spice Girls, all while being a solo artist (she wrote and performed"Resentment" which appears of Beyonce, B'Day), all while giving birth to three amazing boys by her husband David and while look incredible too. Motherhood and Success hasn't been an obstacle for this young lady.

I think that people are obsessed with seeing R&B entertainers having families because we have children that find them the easiest to relate to outside of sports figures, who though have decent family lives don't necessary have the ideal family structure. How many times have you heard athlete and divorce or athlete and scandal in the same sentence over the past few years. Pre-nup has been every womens fear lately as well. That leaves us with the more powerful women in R&B who are in relationships. Beyonce, Mary J. and Mariah.

We have been saying for years why won't they have children? The question after that will always be "Will they be as talented as their parents"? The answer is simply well maybe they just don't want to? There is nothing selfish at all about enjoying your successes while you are young. Get it out the way and then worry about parenthood later.

There is this desire in the Black Community to find role models that look like us, have hair like us, have voices us and that are influential like us to show what it mean to be successful and have a family. It has been said that in the African-American community we have become too damn selfish to care about family, parenthood and to sometimes to care about the people that helped us get to the platform we get to and while that may be sometimes true, that is not always the case.

I can easily say that Beyonce and Shawn Carter should have children but Beyonce has expressed concern over her figure, the pain during the procedure, she is happy being a great aunt to __________ (someone come back to me with her nephews name, I don't feel like looking it up). Beyonce has every right to not want children right now and for once I am on her side. Mary J. though she has been through alot still has her own demons that she need to set aside before she thinks about parenthood, She has overcome a broken family, molestation, drugs and alcohol addiction as well as unhealthy relationships, She is with a good man now but we don't know where they are at in their journey within their relationship and Mariah Carey, good ole Mariah Carey. Now,I actually wouldn't mind seeing Mariah and Nick start a family, I mean lets face Mariah is ageless and pretty and Nick is just very handsome, big huge teeth beautiful dark chocolatey skin, I'll take it for $500 Alex. We have been saying when will she get knocked up for ages but I guess her and Nick to To Be Announced for now.

I think personally and my blog is only for Cocktail chatter that instead of looking for musicians, athletes and even our President for guidance we need to look within our own selfs and learn two things. Success does not make you selfish and Parenthood (done right) comes as a result of personal success. In addition why are we even looking at other peoples lives as a model to guide our own. We are given the tools needed to achieve success, we are given great examples all over for how to raise a child right through community leaders, matriarchs and friends and relatives. Yes, they are great role models for how to make that money and use your gifts wisely however when it comes to their personal lives and decisions they make, simply stay out of it and figure your own path for yourself.

Sincerely,
Ranity
Drink: Gran Marnier & Orange Juice

The Reaction To Action

2009-09-09T23:15:00.001-04:00

Wednesday, September 9, 2009 President Barack Obama, The First African American President of The United States of America addressed members of Congress, Senate and the nation in what will have been the most important speech of his first few months in office. The address concerned the debate on Health Care Reform for the 40 million Americans that are uninsured by the government. Reaction been mixed to positive fom people inside and outside of the health care industry moments after the speech.

My family of mainly registered Southern Republicans (Virgina, South Carolina, Louisiana, Florida and Tennessee) and the occassional (Pennsylvania) it was interesting to see everyone including my mom for the first time full engaged in his speech tonight. He laid out the specifics, he laid out exactly what he wants and I think this was a better description of what he wants to see in a Health Care bill that we've heard since his campaign. He also credited Senator John McCain in portions of provisions he wanted to see in the bill affecting the uninsured.

The main reason, not just part but the main reason they voted for him as well as 58% of America did was in favour of what he would do with health care if elected in office. He won the vote and it's time for him to act on it. The question now is with 2010 looking to be a bloodbath for Senate and Congressional races across the country what will happen to health care if we do not get it right this time around? As Obama said in this speech "We can not wait until the next cycle or the next election or 4 or 8 years, we must act now, Now is the time"

A small tid bit, during the speech it was comfirmed that Repesentative Wilson of South Carolina was the one who created that embarrassing outburst in the chamber while President Obama was speaking. Senator John McCain of Arizona was highly upset and asked for him to apologize immediately. This show of disrespect angered many in the chamber including many Democrats who returned with boos and cat calls.

The president laid out that he will call out anyone who decides to spread lies about whats in the bill and the what the bill is supposed to do and that he would not tolerate anything short of a reform. The status quo is unacceptable. Being a part of the 40 million people that don't have insurance, I am appauled that Conservative-Democrats and Republicans are willing to fight against a lower middle class person such as myself.

The reaction among young people need to be to go out in the same numbers that they did in 2008 and if they are pleased with the job that their Senators and Congressmen(women) are doing, keep them in office, if they are not vote them out. I would prefer as a Gay Liberal to keep the 60 Democratic seat in the Senate and the 218 seats in the Congress however, it may appear that with a few of the seats may be up for grabs. Get up and vote. Gays and Lesbians, get up and vote this concerns you, it concerns me, it concerns your lovers, your jumpoffs and your future partners as well as your parents and loved ones. Health care must change for the American people and we must do it now!

The Reaction to the Lack of Reaction

2009-09-09T23:04:00.001-04:00

Let me start by saying that I will not support any LGBT bloggers until further notice, I understand that they are about a gay agenda and I applaud that because we do have a seperate agenda and must not be ignored. With HIV/AIDS cases rising in the black gay and lesbian community, health insurance should be a part of that agenda and shockingly it is not even given a second look. We just accept that many of our gay, lesbian, transgendered brothers and sisters are expected to die and that is fine with us apparently.

I applaud every gay and lesbians sheer drive and determination to make a name for themselves in the gay and lesbian community but understand this also, you were an American first before you even knew anything about taking or putting dick in anyones ass (gentleman) and rubbing and licking on clits (ladies). There is no reason why when it comes to issues of politics, any of us should be ill prepared and underperformed however, you know all the dates to every gay pride, you what your favouirte singer (mainly Beyonce) is wearing and doing down to the very minute and you know who is doing what with whos man. Now is the time to get your head out of each others asses and really pay attention to the specifics of President Obamas health care reform.

With that being said, I hope you are successful in whatever you do but keep in mind you are not going to be mainsteam being just exceptional. But if exceptional is what you are aiming for all the best.

Ranity.

Facts, Heads & Tails of a Freak

2009-09-06T06:25:00.002-04:00

So I was watching a porno, nothing new about that right? What if I told you I saw a straight one, now that's different. But what was even more different was she caught a nutt before he did! Whoa, hold on, reverse, what just happened? Yes, she bust before he did. Apparently he had her shaking in her bones. She begged him to get out of her. Now I don't know where they do that at but can we find a brotha like THAT a bit more often?

Anyway, Have you ever heard "bears" fucking?. For those of you who don't know what a bear is, in the gay community they are considered the more...jovial men a bit on the hairy side too. If they look like Barry White or close to it theyre a bear. Anyway it's not pleasant. It's actually pretty traumatizing and life changing. They really do sound like two planets trying to create a mini-star. Let me explain.

I remember one year in DC Pride 2005, I will never forget. I was at the Marriott across from the host hotel with a date, yes I do date every now and then shit a boy has needs and back then I was a young hot ass. Anyway one of my good judys at the time called me and said "GET OVER HERE NOW" So i got scared I'm sitting here like what is going on? I thought something horrible was going on and I can hear all this commotion so I throw my clothing on and I run back across the street to the Wyndham (?) I got off the elevator and it sounded like someone let animals out the zoo and put them in the rooms next to my Judys. Every homo on the 8th floor was eavesdropping and I'm sitting here "oh please bitches, you probably sound worst" But I will admit it was pretty a mix between hot and downright grotesque. *note to self never become a jovial being*

But lets be real. We all want a freak as a partner. I mean why go out of your relationship to find someone that swallows when they right at home ready to gargle like you cum is mouthwash, Yes you can have a hoe as a housewife.

It is important that you are a lover in the street, a chef in the kitchen, a maid in the living room and a fuckin slut in the bedroom, now am I lying?

I mean dont you think it would be hot if you could find someoen that'll fuck on the balcony in broad daylight?

They say a good facial once in a while is great for the skin, you got a man right? So why are you waiting to go to the spa tell him to turn his faucet on and get crackin!

I mean gentlemen, bottoms this is to you. I think its perfectly fine to sneak off in the early crack of the morning while you boyfriend, the top is sleeping to go ahead and fleet and come back to bed he can ride you you're Black Beauty at the Kentucky Derby. That's being courteous.

I do think it's kinda corny to ask "where you want me to nutt at shawty" just nutt already so I can go to sleep and rest my hole. Stop watching pornos that's not hot.

It is absolutely social acceptable for couples to have sex tapes a s a matter of fact sex tapes make better pornos. Fuck a script, Scripts are so lame and you know it.

Caramel Syrup or Chocolate Syrup on your mans balls is sure to get his toes curling and your sweet tooth satisfied. Experience much, yes and it works.

Riding dick when your boyfriend, husband is tired is a sure way to knock him out to sleep and get you some personal time while he is off to dreamland and sex in the shower makes for an easy clean up. I'm just saying.

Anyway that's all I got on me right now for more fun tid bits and funny stories and ideas. Follow me on twitter, comment and I'll give you my twitter name. Holla!

The Roast of Atlanta Pride and The Pride Junkies

2009-09-06T05:53:00.001-04:00

Good Evening Everyone and Welcome to the Atlanta Pride Roast. Some of you are gay and some of you are not. For for those you who are not please don't let this mess with your perception of gay people, this roast is only for a small few but for those are you who are gay, this isn't a read. It's a roast.

To anyone who is going to Atlanta Black Gay Pride knows exactly where I'm coming from when I say the boys are going to come back to their prospective cities all nice and strong from all the "protein shakes" they're going to be drinking. Fuck a 711 you can find a BIG GULP anywhere in Atlanta that weekend.

It's not just Atlanta but it's also Miami Sizzle. I remember one of my friends coming back from Miami Sizzle years back having to sit on a donut because he was rather "uncomfortable" sitting down. I wondered if he was going to Atlanta Pride even though his physician told him to "take it easy" from now on. I sure would hate to see him sitting on that inflatable donut again looking crazy

I remember going to Miami 2006, my suite mate tried to hook me up with this guy whos breath smelled like ass, balls and cocktails now where they do that at? I mean if you're gonna give a dude head at least attempt to brush your teeth and we're in th eelevator too so you know being all close together I can smell your large intestine and everyone other dude that shot in your mouth. no sir and no ma'am

Imagine, you lose your friend in the club during ATL PRide only to find him at 3am afterwards and he goes to cough and you find yourself saying "let him out gurl, get him out". I still love you girl but yes, I was just now throwing shade at you giving homeboy head in the corner of at Club Boi.

I kinda feel bad for alot of the tops and their burning penises that are going to come back home on those long flights from Atlanta Pride. Can you imagine having to endure a flight with a burning dripping penis messing up your underwear?

I understand that Atlanta Pride is a bottoms dream and when they come back home to their jumpoffs, it'll become their worst nightmare. They gonna ask themselves who dug up in that? All of Buckhead? I mean shit, the gospel song said he can move mountains but didn't mean for you to sit at the edge of the bed and have your ass pummeled.

So one time at Sizzle my good Judy (friend) for you straight people reading this leaves the hotel room at 5am and met up with us like later that afternoon for brunch in Downtown Miami. My other roommate Trey is patting him on the back cause good Judy kept clearing her throat. I'm sitting here with a puzzled face like "What are you going through" why Trey talking about "burping his babies, come on baby we can do this" a MESS.

The physicians know about pride events and you'd be a fool to think they don't. They sit in their offices saying to themselves "next week is going to be really busy y'all"

So let me go on about Marques. "Mars" was his nickname. Mars love to suck dick but baby those teeth were a horror show. He'll always come back talking about "chiiiiiiile, I done sucked me a mean ole dick" I'm like "Mars whose dick you done fucked up now" getting sucked by him is like putting your dick through a meat grinder that's how bad his teeth were. How about I got a text from him saying "See you in ATL" oh no ma'am "No you won't!" I mean his teeth were so bad it will force you to really wanna say let's just be friends and once you smelled his breath you'd want to breakup with him before you get together with him. I'm just saying.

Now if you're ever in Atlanta during gay pride weekend and you think you're smelling a garbage truck passing, I just want to let you know you're probably smelling a sex party or the result of one. I'm just saying.

Anyway I was watching the news and it said there a few comfirmed cases of swine flu in Atlanta right before gay pride weekend. I mean really is that the ONLY thing folks are worried about. I'm just saying

Thank you ladies and gentlemen it's been a pleasure. I'm glad to be your roastmaster. Don't get offended just laugh it off and keep on moving Until next time. See you later and Fuck you very much.

Day 12 Reflecting on Day 9 & 10

2009-08-11T17:40:00.001-04:00

Day 8 I worked out with my trainer Funsho from NYSC. Let me tell you he is the anti-traditional straight guy. He is so comfortable around gay men, he is inquisitive and it helped him understand why so many gay men go to the gym to work out. He really gave me the work out of an athlete, He tries to drain me out of every bit of strength that I have just so I can look good the next day and it pays off!

Day 9 I arrived that night to Fire Island and in which most of my friends this was their first time ever on the island, for me this was the 7th time I've visited the island. I'm waiting on the day where I lose count. I love the fact that no matter where you are on the Cherry Grove, you can absolutely feel free to walk around in your underwear or your swimtrunks. The people there are all about stroking your ego. You may feel like crap but they will make you feel like a million bucks and I ate it all up minus the calories

Day 10 was particular special because that was the official beach party on Fire Island. All the bloggers were there Derrick Briggs, Ryan Drake (whom I did not see at all), The XD Experience was there, Shawn QT and his lover Remarkable (who are the cutest pair of shawties) and of course myself the amateur was there looking amazing. Something about that day really allowed me to let loose. I haven't lost any weight but my body is looking better than it did when I started school. I definetely wasn't as FAT as I was last year. Dare I show you the pictures? I walked up and down the beach and all it took was a smile and a hello and a "let me get yo' number". It worked! I'm wondering what in the world changed because it sure in hell wasn't my body. My confidence was at a 60 out of 100 but each number that I got from each dude boosted me up slowly but surely and by the time the beach party was done, my confidence shot up to 100. I had men all good looking of all ages, all sizes, all races trying to get at me and most of all they were nice! I wish I could've had a camera follow me around so I can find out what did I do differently that Saturday to make me a dick-magnet.

This is only Day 12 of my 225 Day journey, let's see what it all look like at the finish line.

The 225 Day Project

2009-07-31T19:29:00.002-04:00

So starting today is my 225 day project and you are probably wondering what is this about? It is about my 5 year long battle with my weight. Many have inquired at my reasoning for wanting to lose weight when I seem like the average American standard weight. That's a problem actually. Americans tend to be 20 - 30lbs heavier than most other developed nations. We also consume way more food than other developed nations without any shame and the results show in our waistlines. African-Americans have more health concerns as we get older, Some of those major things being high blood pressure, Type1 or 2-diabetes, high cholesterol, colon cancer in no particular order so it is important to begin now on the road to a long healthy life.

I am currently 5'11 and 178lbs, I so far since returning to the gym after my "Educational Sebattical". While in school I gained a total of 15 - 20lbs without even trying. The same thing happened in 2005 when I moved from Miami, FL to New York City, I gained gained 24lbs and quickly got in the gym, established a workout partner and an affair with Hydroxycut Hardcore, the best weight lost pills that ever made its way to the market, which by the way if anyone didn't know, it's been recalled and pulled off shelves everywhere. Going back to 2005, I managed to get down to 160lbs which people think at 5'11 is too slim when in fact thats exactly where 5'11 male should be with a 31 - 32 inch waist.

So I know what the next question is going to be. "What happened? What happened that you simply couldn't keep the weight off?" The answer is simple "Life happened". I simply did not commit to working out especially when working 40+ hours a week at a job that claims to be flexible when they need you but not flexible when you need them to be and I understand that is no excuse but its the best reason I can come up with. Genetics has a funny way of expressing its comedic side. There are many people that are slim and happy and there are those that are fat and happy. I for one, tend to like both these people because they can eat whatever they want without having any guilty qualms. Then there are the in between the spectrums. These people consist of the ones that are skinny that want to be buff and muscular and people like me that want are thick in certain areas and want to slim down and rock a sick six pack. What these two individuals have in common is that they both want to look good with their shirt off, they want to look good booty naked. I want to look good naked.

As men we are visual, we like to see that it looks good before we touch it, smell it and taste it. Remember how difficult it was to eat vegetables when you were a kid? I've had several of these discussions over the years with friends who tell me with all the sincerity in the world "...you are perfectly fine, if you lose weight you are going to look like a crackhead, you look fine the way you are" So lets do a small exercise.

Who would you rather holla at? Who would you most likely give a completely wrong number to if they tried to holla at you?

The 225 Day Project is the my personal weight loss program, I don't really have a goal except to get physical fit first and then sexy in 2010. With the help of friends, a trainer, diet and a workout plan, I hope that in 225 Days I can get down to a 32 inch waist and down to 165lbs. If you are wondering why I chose 225 as my number. It will be 225 days until my birthday and who doesn't want to look good on their day? Well, thanks for reading and wish me luck, I will be keeping you posted.

Let's see if I can do this absolutely sober

2009-07-25T00:44:00.000-04:00

I'm Ranity, I'm fun, witty and stimulating. I like politics, don't go to clubs in the Northeast because they're lame and I don't date guys that only listen to Beyonce on their ipod. I love Hip-Hop but not the mainsteam Top 40 stuff and for the record, Auto-tunes is so lame. I've traveled to Philadelphia, I've lived in Miami, I've been to Charleston, SC and also New Orleans, LA which happens to be one of my favourite cities in America. This is just a small introduction. I promise I'll give another crack at this but for the moment, I'm way too sober to really express myself candidly to a blank screen. Sorry just keeping it real.