The Roast of Atlanta Pride and The Pride Junkies

Good Evening Everyone and Welcome to the Atlanta Pride Roast. Some of you are gay and some of you are not. For for those you who are not please don't let this mess with your perception of gay people, this roast is only for a small few but for those are you who are gay, this isn't a read. It's a roast.

To anyone who is going to Atlanta Black Gay Pride knows exactly where I'm coming from when I say the boys are going to come back to their prospective cities all nice and strong from all the "protein shakes" they're going to be drinking. Fuck a 711 you can find a BIG GULP anywhere in Atlanta that weekend.

It's not just Atlanta but it's also Miami Sizzle. I remember one of my friends coming back from Miami Sizzle years back having to sit on a donut because he was rather "uncomfortable" sitting down. I wondered if he was going to Atlanta Pride even though his physician told him to "take it easy" from now on. I sure would hate to see him sitting on that inflatable donut again looking crazy

I remember going to Miami 2006, my suite mate tried to hook me up with this guy whos breath smelled like ass, balls and cocktails now where they do that at? I mean if you're gonna give a dude head at least attempt to brush your teeth and we're in th eelevator too so you know being all close together I can smell your large intestine and everyone other dude that shot in your mouth. no sir and no ma'am

Imagine, you lose your friend in the club during ATL PRide only to find him at 3am afterwards and he goes to cough and you find yourself saying "let him out gurl, get him out". I still love you girl but yes, I was just now throwing shade at you giving homeboy head in the corner of at Club Boi.

I kinda feel bad for alot of the tops and their burning penises that are going to come back home on those long flights from Atlanta Pride. Can you imagine having to endure a flight with a burning dripping penis messing up your underwear?

I understand that Atlanta Pride is a bottoms dream and when they come back home to their jumpoffs, it'll become their worst nightmare. They gonna ask themselves who dug up in that? All of Buckhead? I mean shit, the gospel song said he can move mountains but didn't mean for you to sit at the edge of the bed and have your ass pummeled.

So one time at Sizzle my good Judy (friend) for you straight people reading this leaves the hotel room at 5am and met up with us like later that afternoon for brunch in Downtown Miami. My other roommate Trey is patting him on the back cause good Judy kept clearing her throat. I'm sitting here with a puzzled face like "What are you going through" why Trey talking about "burping his babies, come on baby we can do this" a MESS.

The physicians know about pride events and you'd be a fool to think they don't. They sit in their offices saying to themselves "next week is going to be really busy y'all"

So let me go on about Marques. "Mars" was his nickname. Mars love to suck dick but baby those teeth were a horror show. He'll always come back talking about "chiiiiiiile, I done sucked me a mean ole dick" I'm like "Mars whose dick you done fucked up now" getting sucked by him is like putting your dick through a meat grinder that's how bad his teeth were. How about I got a text from him saying "See you in ATL" oh no ma'am "No you won't!" I mean his teeth were so bad it will force you to really wanna say let's just be friends and once you smelled his breath you'd want to breakup with him before you get together with him. I'm just saying.

Now if you're ever in Atlanta during gay pride weekend and you think you're smelling a garbage truck passing, I just want to let you know you're probably smelling a sex party or the result of one. I'm just saying.

Anyway I was watching the news and it said there a few comfirmed cases of swine flu in Atlanta right before gay pride weekend. I mean really is that the ONLY thing folks are worried about. I'm just saying

Thank you ladies and gentlemen it's been a pleasure. I'm glad to be your roastmaster. Don't get offended just laugh it off and keep on moving Until next time. See you later and Fuck you very much.