One of my followers on twitter Andrew (@beyoncelvr) about how he is sick and tired of people saying that Beyonce needs to sit down and have a baby.
There is this thought that all women want to one day no matter how successful they get want to sit down and raise a family. According to a recent poll shown on CNN, This is only true among approximately 50% of women in America and true among only around 33% of African-American women in America. Hopefully you are keeping up with these numbers because there are more to come.
One of the things that struck me was that in 1967, the number of African-American families headed by a two person household was 67%, today in 2009 the number has shifted to 31%. It is not uncommon to see African-American women raising children alone. It is also not uncommon to see extremely successful African-American women either married or in a relationship and seemingly having no desires to have children. Some examples are Beyonce & Jay-Z, Mary J. & Kendu, Mariah & Nick (though there has been many speculation), Janet & (whoever she is with at the time). The only true contemporary female entertainer to express motherhood in a very graceful way has been Whitney Houston. She showed that yes, you can sell million of records and be an excellent mother and be hold your status as a diva while being relevant. From a pop standpoint, Victoria Beckham went from 1/5 of Spice Girls to help co-create the Beckham empire, doing this all while being a member of the Spice Girls, all while being a solo artist (she wrote and performed"Resentment" which appears of Beyonce, B'Day), all while giving birth to three amazing boys by her husband David and while look incredible too. Motherhood and Success hasn't been an obstacle for this young lady.
I think that people are obsessed with seeing R&B entertainers having families because we have children that find them the easiest to relate to outside of sports figures, who though have decent family lives don't necessary have the ideal family structure. How many times have you heard athlete and divorce or athlete and scandal in the same sentence over the past few years. Pre-nup has been every womens fear lately as well. That leaves us with the more powerful women in R&B who are in relationships. Beyonce, Mary J. and Mariah.
We have been saying for years why won't they have children? The question after that will always be "Will they be as talented as their parents"? The answer is simply well maybe they just don't want to? There is nothing selfish at all about enjoying your successes while you are young. Get it out the way and then worry about parenthood later.
There is this desire in the Black Community to find role models that look like us, have hair like us, have voices us and that are influential like us to show what it mean to be successful and have a family. It has been said that in the African-American community we have become too damn selfish to care about family, parenthood and to sometimes to care about the people that helped us get to the platform we get to and while that may be sometimes true, that is not always the case.
I can easily say that Beyonce and Shawn Carter should have children but Beyonce has expressed concern over her figure, the pain during the procedure, she is happy being a great aunt to __________ (someone come back to me with her nephews name, I don't feel like looking it up). Beyonce has every right to not want children right now and for once I am on her side. Mary J. though she has been through alot still has her own demons that she need to set aside before she thinks about parenthood, She has overcome a broken family, molestation, drugs and alcohol addiction as well as unhealthy relationships, She is with a good man now but we don't know where they are at in their journey within their relationship and Mariah Carey, good ole Mariah Carey. Now,I actually wouldn't mind seeing Mariah and Nick start a family, I mean lets face Mariah is ageless and pretty and Nick is just very handsome, big huge teeth beautiful dark chocolatey skin, I'll take it for $500 Alex. We have been saying when will she get knocked up for ages but I guess her and Nick to To Be Announced for now.
I think personally and my blog is only for Cocktail chatter that instead of looking for musicians, athletes and even our President for guidance we need to look within our own selfs and learn two things. Success does not make you selfish and Parenthood (done right) comes as a result of personal success. In addition why are we even looking at other peoples lives as a model to guide our own. We are given the tools needed to achieve success, we are given great examples all over for how to raise a child right through community leaders, matriarchs and friends and relatives. Yes, they are great role models for how to make that money and use your gifts wisely however when it comes to their personal lives and decisions they make, simply stay out of it and figure your own path for yourself.
Sincerely,
Ranity
Drink: Gran Marnier & Orange Juice
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You called Whitney Houston a good mother. I think her addictions disqualify that. Just because she had children and continued having a successful career does not make her a good mother by any account considering that for the majority of the child's life she was in an abusive drug addicted marriage. I don't think that people are addicted to stars having children, it just seems to be more of a normal lifestyle. It's the American stereotype and for years people tend to think something is wrong with those who will not have children. Beyonce finds herself in this topic all the time simply because she's currently in media overload and people think that she could use the break as well as giving her fans a break. The statistics may say that 2 parent households are rare but the perception America gives off to the rest of the world is that it is a part of the American dream and something is wrong with those who don't do it.
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