Bros Over Hoes?

Not so much buddy. Over the years among women it's been known as the "Girlfriend" rule and among guys it's known as "Bros over Hoes". What if your friend is the resident town whore. My grandmother always used to say, Pick your friends absolutely carefully because you my find yourself in precocious situations that won't be easy to get around. If you are friends with the guy that has to date all the cute guys or has to fuck all the cute boys in the city, it can make dating a bit harder. Many people will say, well in a city where there are infinite amount of boys to date, why go after your friends former date, lover, partner. Well, what if they actually do click. What if there is a connection there, that is different from the connection that you had with the person. One can't fault the friend or the lover for what is bound to be inevitable. People are allowed to run into each other, things tend to happen. There is only so much you as the friend is allowed to control especially when you personally have moved to something far better. If the past relationship, mattered so much how come you are no longer with that person.

This season of Desperate Housewives is examining that very idea of the "Girlfriend" rule. Bree (brilliantly played by Marcia Cross) is currently having an affair with her best friend (Susan Delfino played by Teri Hatcher) ex-husband, Karl. In this situation I sympathize with both Bree for falling for Karl but I am on Susans side on this only because Karl cheated of Susan multiple times and seeing him with other women particularly women that looked nothing like her brings back ugly memories of what those affairs did to her. Even though Susan is happily married to Tom Delfino, does she have a say if any of friends can date or have sex with her past partners.

I always viewed the "Girlfriend" rule as a way of restricting who your friends can see, just in case you happen to have a lonely night you can have the option to call one (or more) over for a late night cream. I personally don't buy it. I think it can get downright selfish in the event that you're friends with the town harlot. With the devastating and sometimes appalling popularity of online dating/sex sites, it has further closed in the gay community and has also find it's way into the heterosexual community as well. Everyone now knows a piece of everyone. It is unavoidable.

I have two scenarios and I'll try to make it short. Last year, I said goodbye to a dead-end friendship. It was a friendship were I was growing but the other person was stagnant and not really moving towards something. You can almost say we were both holding each other back. I found independence and they found self-confidence in the days after our friendship dissolved. What made the friendship dissolve was I got tired of being loyal to a friend that dated every good looking guy in the city of New York and Jersey City. I got tired of introducing them to him and seeing the familiarity and old "sparks" being rekindled. Later on, his friendship with his other friends also dissolved for that same reason.

In the second scenario. An ex-date of one of my best friend contacted me and explained how burned he was to find out that my friend jumped into a relationship after two weeks of knowing the guy. No courtesy, no "well I'm seeing this person and...", they found through pictures on facebook. Ladies and gentlemen, I've said it before putting too much on Facebook/Twitter can ruin you! Through consoling him, he explained that a friend of his wants to date him. Now they are very close to violating that "Girlfriend" aka "Bros over Hoes" rule. He did exactly what I mentioned early, he asked the new guy "How important is your friendship with him". Already by the answers, he knew that it would be an uncomfortable situation. However, that attraction is not going away anytime soon. It's actually been there for some time and they continue to dance around this attraction to each other. They both recognize it's only a matter of time before is before one is riding the others dick with disregard to my friend. My name is Bennett and I refuse to be in it. I have unconventional ways of thinking around many sensitive issues, as you see.

I tell people to evaluate how important this friendship is to them. Is it that important to explore love in such a fashion? If the answer is yes, you must be prepared to say goodbye to that friendship however, if the dating or relationship goes sour you have also left yourself completely "assed-out" of a shoulder to lean on. If you decide not to move forward with dating the past date, jumpoff, lover of your friend, you are stuck with that friend and you may have to explore other means of meeting people in which you will not continue to run into former lovers, boyfriends, dates, jumpoffs of your best friend.

If you are a harlot and you are reading this you also have to understand the climate in which we live in. If you have had sex with one person, you have in fact had sex with ten people, therefore you have closed the degrees of separation in an already minority community. So your friends hooking up with your past dates, lovers, jumpoffs is damn near inevitable and you might just have to suck it up for the sake of your friends happiness.

Where do you stand on this issue? Please leave me your comments, I love those.