Legally Superficially Gay?

Is the recession an excuse used by people who don't have to use as their pity story or is the recession used as an excuse for some to look down on those down on their luck. Unfortunately, it's a little bit of both. Anyone with eyes and ears know that there is nothing more brutal than being a gay minority anywhere, well try being a single gay minority in a large city with 14% unemployment while the national average is only 9.8%. Any amount of persons looking for work that is subjected to unemployment is way too many people.



After I became unemployed several days after my birthday, I already knew what my plan was going to be and that was go back to school and sharpen my craft in the field. This move would eventually push me from making $25,000 to close to $47,000 and yes these are actual numbers. It's amazing what a little bit of education can do for a brother in this economy. Just because I had the luxury of going back to school and I had a decent sized savings account doesn't mean that I was "Scott Free". I had to learn how to be conservative with my money and make some lifestyle changes that would affect my relationships with other people. At one point I use to want to be a part of "The Joneses", however my grandmother at Age 74 with a fistful of wisdom told me "Never be concerned with the Joneses and don't allow yourself to want to be The Joneses" ya hear that NeNe Leakes? Her explanation was that "The Joneses" are some of the fakest people around and they wish you no good. "The Joneses" are the people that keep the pot stirring with a small spoon which essentially mean that they have nothing to bring flavour to the recipe but want to find their way there anyway.



As school came to a close, I noticed my savings account started getting lower and lower. I hid alot of this from my friends and family because I really did want to encourage people if they could go back to school however what I didn't want to do was scare anybody from going to school by having them see that I was kinda struggling. I remember everyone being so supportive of me getting my certification and it was first time back in school since 2002. What I didn't realize is that my financial downfall may lead to the subject of scrutiny.

Through a conversation I had on twitter with three employed men of color. There was a comment of "I am tired of people using the recession as an excuse" after a comment was made about wanting a man with a car, a house, a fat bank account. You sorta wonder with people continuing to lose their jobs and homes daily do you also want a golden parachute as well? For those people who have that, it is truly a blessing but not many people have that because they mismanaged their funds continuously as the "financial party" continued throughout most of Former President Bush 43 presidency. There was a comment also made that "The recession only affects bankers and people that were irresponsible with their money". This is also untrue. While I can't speak for the home owners who bought homes that they feel they were "tricked into believing they can afford the CNN coined term "McMansions", I can speak for the people that played by the rules and were conservative with their funds when they knew they couldn't play with the big boys that No one should pay for someone elses irresponsibility. The financial meltdown that occurred nearly 8 weeks before we elected President Barack Obama spiraled into all industries as government, media and medical jobs continued to grow.

I began to dive deeper and find out what does this mean for an average guy who though may not have the car, the fancy house and the fat bank account. Does this make it right for people do have stability to discriminate against me? While I say that it does happen because I do know writing about this, I will definetely be the subject of scrutiny by "shady queens" who revel in other peoples misfortunes. I think it spotlights the superficial behaviour that has always underlined the gay community, particularly the minority community.

We have become a culture that instead of saving which we have been famously known for and been the envy of other communities, we have become big spenders like our heterosexual counterparts. Everyone want to pop bottles, drive fancy cars and live in apartments however living in apartment that don't even at least Baking Soda in the fridge. That has become the New York City gay way of living. Everything is a show.



With that being said What about whats going on inside of a persons mind as opposed to what is going on inside of a persons wallet? A person who is looking for what a person has is no different that than the Gold Digger that scouts out rich or well off men and women to help make themselves feel a bit more stable. Those two individuals whether employed or not employed are both reaching for the same goals, it's how they get there that makes the difference.

I made this point and I stand by this point, that anyone who is currently employed need to count their blessing because anyone is vulnerable and subject to being extremely humbled by not being able to find work and maintain a particular lifestyle. As I've learned throughout this year, friends see money friends stay but if friends see money go, they go and they go in the other direction, nowhere to be found when you really need them. In saying this I was not looking for pity by anyone because I know the meaning of earning a dollar instead of making a dollar, there is a difference. I also didn't want anyone to give me a hand out because I don't take hand outs. My grandmother worked all the way into her 60's to provide a better retirement account for herself and every day that she could get up and put her feet on the ground and take the A train from her Broadway Junction train station to Far Rockaway and then take the Q22 bus out to Laurelton, Long Island to a job that she worked 6 days a week taught me the meaning of hard work. However, the opportunist and the person that is a little down on their luck are not the same two people.




I understand the point of being weary of superficial men and even women out there that is more concerned with your pockets more so than getting to know who you are and possibly building something that is true and genuine however, fighting fire with fire by becoming that same person just with a better job doesn't quite keep those people away from you either, it makes them superficial but it lowers you by making you look shallow, another stereotype that plagues our community. It's a round and round circle that keeps us from getting to know each other becuase you have a part of the population that has their guard up now and a part of the population seeking friendship, love or afection for right reasons that are getting shafter because of that small part of the population that are up to absolutely no good.



I do know that the job that I will be starting in the next few days, I will be making good money and eventually I will want to get back into the dating scene, not so much the gay party scene because nothing good comes out of that. However, the thought of being looked at based on my income and not on my personality, not on what I can bring to the relationship kinda worries me slightly because I never minded treating, as a matter of fact, I felt myself to be a bit too generous when it came to treating and tipping the waiter (unless they sucked). I want to be looked at for the person that can make you laugh, make you feel good and make you special minus the pricetag on my forehead. I hope this is not what our community becomes in the long run. There are too many very good, quality, attractive men out there for us to simplify ourselves by categorizing incomes.



I do intend on furthering this discussion by showing ways of being able to spot a gold digger who doesn't have much from a genuine person.

In conclusion, I got word Wednesday that I start work on October 23, 2009 and I will be station in Valley Stream, Long Island which is a bit far however there are certain sacrifices a brother is going to have to make in order to be and also remain employed.

I hope you enjoyed my blog and please comment, I like it when people do that *smile*